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Would this be OK?


elizmdavis
Should I Be Mad If My Best Friend F...
Should I Be Mad If My Best Friend Forgot My Birthday?

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A friend of mine is having a birthday bash at his house on Friday. Since my ex and I have a "shared" circle of friends...I am certain that his best buds know about it too (an they will tell him....and so on.) I am definitley going because the birthday boy is one of my best friends.

 

A week ago my ex invited me out with our old group of friends and I thought it was just too awkward to do that at the time (since we just split a few days prior). He wasn't directly invited to this, but his best friend was invited by the host of the party. If his best friend goes...he'd definitley invite my ex. I think my ex would go just because it's something to do. Since he and I are on speaking terms but we have been NC...do you think I should somehow inform him that I'm going?

 

What if I don't, and we both are there and it's just awkward because of the split? I almost think that there would be expectations and if they aren't met there would be sadness. UGh, I don't know...this is such a confusing time in my life. Part of me wouldn't mind seeing him because I just miss him, but the other part doesn't want to deal with the drama that could possibly happen.

 

Ugh.](*,)

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How big is the party? Do you think you could just avoid him?

 

My friends condo is only like 1000 sq. ft. It's not very big. There will probably be quite a few people there....I doubt that avoiding him is possible, especially since most of the people know us both and they'll say "Hey! So and So is over there!"

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My friends condo is only like 1000 sq. ft. It's not very big. There will probably be quite a few people there....I doubt that avoiding him is possible, especially since most of the people know us both and they'll say "Hey! So and So is over there!"

 

Well, I doubt he'll forget that you'll be there since it is one of your best friends B-days. He is probably contemplating the same thing.

 

I'd go, have fun, and if things get awkward, leave.

 

The only time I really had to deal with the ex (which we are back together now. I feel like I confuse a lot of people with this), was at a fourth of july party. He completely forgot that I'd be there. However, he came for about 30 minutes and left because he knew that he really wasn't properly invited. He also came with a mutual friend.

 

It was a rough night because I did not expect seeing him. But, you can't stop doing things to avoid your ex. You have to keep living.

 

The choice is a difficult one because you feel like seeing your ex may set you back. It really depends on where you think you are in your healing.

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The choice is a difficult one because you feel like seeing your ex may set you back. It really depends on where you think you are in your healing.

 

I do feel like it will set me back. I will love seeing him! But who knows how things would be. We haven't seen eachother or spoken in over a week since we decided to take time apart. We are on good terms...I just feel like there is so much I want to say to him.

 

Where am I in my healing? I am at the "what if" stage. I ask myself the "what if" questions and I begin finding ways to bargain with my current situation so that we can somehow be together again. I just miss him....that is exactly how I feel. This split was mutual....we considered it "a step back to put things into perspective". A week into it and I am swamped with "what if"-bargaining and feelings of missing him.

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I do feel like it will set me back. I will love seeing him! But who knows how things would be. We haven't seen eachother or spoken in over a week since we decided to take time apart. We are on good terms...I just feel like there is so much I want to say to him.

 

Where am I in my healing? I am at the "what if" stage. I ask myself the "what if" questions and I begin finding ways to bargain with my current situation so that we can somehow be together again. I just miss him....that is exactly how I feel. This split was mutual....we considered it "a step back to put things into perspective". A week into it and I am swamped with "what if"-bargaining and feelings of missing him.

 

Would you feel comfortable talking to your mutual friend about him coming? Is your relationship strong enough where he'd steer your ex away from coming and keep the secret that you talked to him about it?

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I could, but...my ex is one of his friends too...I think I'd be putting unecessary drama into the scenario. I can't really picture myself saying "Hey, can you try to get him to not come but don't tell him I asked you to do this?"

 

I just want to let my ex know that I will be there and it's OK that if he comes too. I made a big stink last week about us hanging around friends together since we had just made our "time apart" decision. I still don't know if it's the best idea for us to see eachother right now or not...but I wouldn't mind so much.

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