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Strange Sexual Experience


MrGrinch

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My GF and I have been going out for 6 months and over this time she hasn't really been all that intimate with me or affectionate towards me. She's new here in North America (2 years) from Easrn Europe and has never been a "touchy feely" kind of girl so I've given her lots of time to kind of warm-up and feel comfortable. Last week while on a vacation we finally had sex, but this was only after me asking her if she thought it was "normal" for a 6-month couple to just go to bed in the resort every night without doing anything. Was getting kind of frustrated...

 

Anyways, the whole event was really bizarre and not like any sexual experience I have ever had. She's generally not an affectionate girl and isn't really into kissing, intimacy, etc. After having the chat above and trying to kiss her she started poking and tickling me... almost in an aggressive and sometimes painful way. She wouldn't really making kissing advances to me (as usual) so I in turn interpreted these actions as another way of her making an advance and I think I was right on the money.

 

One thing led to another and we finally did it -- but the experience was really weird. She gave me permission and proceeded to just kind of lay there like a log spread eagle with me on top. She didn't seem into it. At times she wouldn't look me in the eye and would turn her head away so that I couldn't kiss her on this lips. She didn't want to change positions or really try anything else.

 

Other than getting off the whole thing wasn't really all that gratifying because it was just so strange. Has anyone ever been in a similar circumstance? What could cause this? Strong religion? Cultural issue? Moral upbringing? I'm kind of paranoid now that after 6 months perhaps this girl is just not into me. Any advice....?

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She appears to be rather clueless about having sex and what's normally involved in the act. She needs to be giving the opportunity to be shown what you expect in the sexual part of the relationship...by you TELLING her this.

 

Sounds tough, eh? It's easier than you think once you start rolling. She'll either listen and accept what you say and try harder or she will resist and not change at all. In which case you bail because you're not going to be happy with her.

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That does sound really strange. Maybe it was her first time and it'll change later on? Maybe she just had no clue what to do and was very nervous. Maybe give her time and talk to her about it. If she doesn't want to or can't change, I hate to sound shallow, but maybe you'd be better off with someone you can enjoy a more intimate relationship with. I think it's a pretty important aspect of a relationship, you know?

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The above replies have good points. Maybe it was her first time, maybe she just has very little experience. Some people are just awkward until they can warm up to someone and get used to them.

 

You kind of mentioned it, but you may also really want to think about her upbringing and culture. I absolutely do not mean to make sweeping generalizations, but being from Eastern Europe, she was probably raised with very old world traditions and ways of thinking and acting. I also really really hope it's not the case, but you may want to try to find out if she has had any abusive or exploitive relationships. That probably won't be easy to get her to talk about, but if it turns out to be the case, that could definitely explain why she was not eager to be with you until now and her actions during sex. Not being interactive and not even wanting to kiss you are signs she may have been in seriously emotionally damaging situations. You shouldn't pressure her for more sex until you find out if this is the case or not. You don't want to become part of that problem.

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When I met my girlfriend, she had very limited sexual experience, with only a small number of sex partners, who obviously never made any attempt to do anything other than the "standard stuff". She was awkward, inexperienced, but the difference is she really wanted to learn what I liked. It was awkward for me, at first to explain what I wanted..until I realized that it was much easier than I thought. And the rewards..were plentiful.

 

Your mileage may vary

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