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When to have the "are we in a relationship" talk?


marthamydear

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I live in a house with 14 roommates (it's a co-op actually, most college/grad students), and have been here for about 8 months. There's a guy I've hung out with, just watching movies and talking, but I never felt like we were very close. I also never got a vibe that he was interested in me-- it seemed pretty platonic.

 

After a party at our house, we hooked up (didn't have sex, but did everything else). This has happened twice since. We've also hung out without any sexual contact, and he tries to hold my hand or rub my feet, but he doesn't come on to me. I don't feel pressured by him at all, and it doesnt seem like he's just out to get laid. We've had some pretty serious talks in which he's told me a lot about his family problems, things he said he doesn't usually talk about.

 

I want to know if we're just hooking up and chilling, or if he's seriously interested in me. Since we live in the same house, it's not like we're making plans specifically to "hang out."

 

I've been burned in the past with these pseudo-relationship arrangements, either because I've developed feelings for the other person and he didn't reciprocate, or vice versa. I truly believe open communication and clarity is the best policy, but I don't want to make things awkward by bringing it up. Should I ask him what his intentions/feelings are?

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