Thomazz Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 So, as you could have read in my previous posts.. She broke up with me like a month ago. She wrote me an email to "let it go" So I did. She phoned me every day I went on holiday, alone. I came back after 10 days, we meet, she stayed over (nothing happens) She calls me everyday She mails me everyday She was gonna date another guy to take him to a concert I said I didn't like that, nothing more. The day before the concert she phones me asking to go with her to the concert instead of the other guy. I refuse because I already had plans with my friends, and we would see eachother the day after The next day, she calls me, totally angry, that I don't phone her by myself (I did what she asked me after the breakup "let it go") and that I rather go out with my friends (duh! I'm not the one DATING other people) Next day, we meet, she came over, we watched a movie, she stayed over (nothing happened again) She wanted to go on holidays, she wanted to become roommates, she wanted to stay over again (all things she said after the break in the last week) (but I know there is a big difference in SAYING things and DOING things) Then I asked her to give me a little bit insight in the situation, I wanted to know "where exactly do I stand?" She told me she was gonna give me this answer within 1 month. The next day when we woke up, she told me "it's never gonna happen between us" "ok" She phones me later that day, and then I told her, "well I got my answer now, I will respect your decision, but then do not phone or email me, not even as friends, I wanted to give you a special feeling, but It has to be mutual. bye" Guess I need to sign up for the NC challenge. Damn
emma34 Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 my ex is doing the same thing to right now too. it's painful and unnecessary, and i'm sorry that you have had to go through this. she is taking advantage of the fact that you still have feelings for her. think of that convo as a positive, now you can finally move on...and if she tries to contct you, just ignore her. if she really has something to say, she can mail it.
baseball8 Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Join the club. Been there. I suggest you do NC. She dumped you and she'll use you to get through the break-up. There's a reason people suggest no-contact. Listen to them. It'll be difficult, but it's the best thing to do. For each girl that I broke up with me that I wanted to so badly get back together, they all came back eventually. But when they did, I didn't want them. Hard to believe that now, as I'm going through it again, but hang in there. You sound like your off to a good start, telling her that you're giving her what she wanted, bye bye. Good luck!
Thomazz Posted February 10, 2009 Author Posted February 10, 2009 When was it you told her not to contact you? That was last sunday. Her needs were completely filled in. She needed "attention", she needed someone to "talk to". My needs were not completely filled in. I wanted a "relation" and "passion". So I broke it off. I have no problems with the NC. But I'm 30, I work hard, I don't go out in the week, I do not meet people in the weekend. And then when you finally meet someone "special", like her, you have to let them go. DAMN DAMN DAMN
CAgirl Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 I'm sorry that she is acting like this, but please don't blame it on all women. We're not all that bad! On a side note. If you read Geoffrey Chaucer's "The Wife of Bath's Tale" you'll find out that what women desire most is sovereingty. I think in your case this woman wants complete control over you and you shouldn't let her have that.
Thomazz Posted February 10, 2009 Author Posted February 10, 2009 Join the club. Been there. I suggest you do NC. She dumped you and she'll use you to get through the break-up. There's a reason people suggest no-contact. Listen to them. It'll be difficult, but it's the best thing to do. For each girl that I broke up with me that I wanted to so badly get back together, they all came back eventually. But when they did, I didn't want them. Hard to believe that now, as I'm going through it again, but hang in there. You sound like your off to a good start, telling her that you're giving her what she wanted, bye bye. Good luck! I had EXACTLY the same situation before, I wanted a girl, I went over to her place like everyday (it was when I was studying, I even moved to the same road where she lived) Then we were almost gonna have sex, and she said STOP. So I went home and I never talked to her again, never passed by again. She broke off the sex that night because of feelings she still had for her EX boyfriend. A week later, a handwritten letter was in my mailbox, saying she was totally in love. I read it, and shredded it, I didn't wanted her anymore.
Thomazz Posted February 10, 2009 Author Posted February 10, 2009 I'm sorry that she is acting like this, but please don't blame it on all women. We're not all that bad! On a side note. If you read Geoffrey Chaucer's "The Wife of Bath's Tale" you'll find out that what women desire most is sovereingty. I think in your case this woman wants complete control over you and you shouldn't let her have that. what do you mean with sovereingty?
Rabican Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 sounds like she wants the comfort of having you around... without actually having to have you around. She can see you if she needs a buddy, and have you do the boyfriend role ie travel, holidays, movies etc. without any of the benefit of being a boyfriend. Screw that, buh bye.
i_win Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 You are thirty but were with someone that acts like someone with the maturity of a teenager...cut this girl off and let her lie in her bed. Stop letting her fill in the gaps with you and stop being her emotional crutch. Women like these need the constant attention and once she finds someone else she'll be gone so fast you won't know what hit you. Take control and don't let her use you while she packs her bags for someone else!
SighSob Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 You're 30, not 70. You can meet other girls if you want to.
KOKKID Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 I'm sorry that she is acting like this, but please don't blame it on all women. We're not all that bad! Maybe so... But that statement reminds Me of a conversation I had with My ex, and one of My male friends, a couple Months ago...My friend was talking about crazy women and My Ex speaks up and says "We're not all THAT bad...Some of Us are good Girls." To that My Friend replied..."Even so...Your Female...And despite the fact that You may be a good woman You'll still do stupid, crazy things because...well...You're a woman and You can't help it...lol" We all laughed at the time...It was funny...My Ex ran off with another Guy a Month later (an EX friend of mine no less)...My Buddy meant for the statement to be funny...My Friends all like My Ex...Or did at least...The thing is, His statement about not being able to help herself is almost exactly what happened...Her words to Me were "I NEVER expected to be in this situation. I found Myself drawn to this Person and before I knew it I just got caught up in the feeling...I feel terrible about it though and the worst thing is that I know I'm hurting You and You don't deserve it..." A week before this We were planning Our Moving in together and talking about Baby Names...](*,)... I know there are good Women out there somewhere...Maybe everywhere...I thought I met one of them...I REALLY did...But like My Friend said...Somtimes women, no matter how good, simply cannot help themselves...It's emotion over logic...Plain and simple...
dreamwarrior Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Basically, those are the type of people who have no self-control and very insecure. I don't need to have a man or run off with someone else when I have someone or cheat on my guy to prove my self worth. I am a valuable person single or in a relationship...that just shows bad character, neediness to feel wanted, attractive, loved...or whatever issue they cannot deal with. Any man I am with in the future will never have to worry about me cheating on him or running off with his friend. Problem is people don't know how to be happy looking in the mirror and think they need someone to pet their egos.... Geez everyone who was ever born has beat the odds...since you have to fight billions of other sperm, travel through the acidity of the woman's body, and many other opposing factors just to get to the egg to be fertilized...isn't that special enough????
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