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Keyman

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So my girlfriend and I broke up a week ago. The relationship had been a struggle and we are very different people. I got a lot out of it and it helped me to find my feet after a previous relationship. I am so grateful for her being in my life and while was sad that it had come to an end, was prepared to let it go.

 

So I went fully no contact and was dealing with it fairly well - and I analysed it in my last thread last week. I still have feelings for her, as it wasn't a hateful realtionship, we are just different people.

 

So, a week later, almost to the hour when she broke up with me, I get a text message from her saying "I miss you" along with the pet name she calls me. Nothing else. This of course pulled my heart strings and I replied the same.

 

But why would she do this? Is she wanting to keep the door open for us to resolve our differences and continue?

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I know it's difficult, but I wouldn't read too much into it. I think it's exactly what she said- she misses you. Even when 2 people realize it's for the best for the relationship to end, there can still be a lot of sadness.

 

What are your thoughts- are you hoping she wants to work it out?

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I know it's difficult, but I wouldn't read too much into it. I think it's exactly what she said- she misses you. Even when 2 people realize it's for the best for the relationship to end, there can still be a lot of sadness.

 

What are your thoughts- are you hoping she wants to work it out?

 

I've searched my thoughts for it for the past week on this. We broke up because of a few intergration issues, that is to say, we leapt at things way way way too fast and it crashed and burned. Would I do it again if I was given the opportunity? Hell yes. Would I do it differently? Hell yes. Am I going to leap on in and try to get things going again? No. I will see how things go and not bet on anything.

 

To me, her message was a way to keep connected. So, this is what I did... I dropped off some mail for her, cut out a heart from a small piece of paper and write magnificence and beauty on it. I just left it there for her. I got an email later from her that she really appreciated it and was going to sleep with it under her pillow. To me, I sowed some seed. I let her know that I am there. Now I will back off and go full NC again.

 

If it works out and we give it another go, then that's fine with me, but I'm not going to count on it. I'm walking away and getting on with my life. If something comes from it, I'm sure I will know. But my shoulders are up and I am happy and grateful for the experience.

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If it works out and we give it another go, then that's fine with me, but I'm not going to count on it. I'm walking away and getting on with my life. If something comes from it, I'm sure I will know. But my shoulders are up and I am happy and grateful for the experience.

 

Well, it sounds like you have a great attitude. Do you have thoughts/ideas about how things could be different/better if you two were to reconcile?

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Well, it sounds like you have a great attitude. Do you have thoughts/ideas about how things could be different/better if you two were to reconcile?

 

Thanks! Being with her actually helped me to develop a super positive attitude. Has helped to change my life.

 

- How would we do things differently if we were to reconcile? For a start, take things slower. Date a whole lot instead of just jumping right into relationship mode. Some circumstances didn't help that and we were trying to be too much for each other when neither of us were ready.

- We would be more accepting of the other and try to compromise better. Two strong minded people leaping in too fast and demanding things from their own way leads to arguments...

- Less pressure from both sides.

and Learn to work in better with each other.

 

It really came down to difficulties intergrating and communicating.

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This may or may not relate to your situation, but when my BF of many years and I broke up, we went NC and I knew it was best, even while it broke my heart. One night I sat bolt upright in bed and knew that someday he would hold regrets, and I didn't want it to be like that for him. I sent him a message to let him know that no matter what, I'd always love him. Next day he replied the same. We've had NC ever since for the last year.

 

Point is, not everybody knows exactly what to say when all they want to do is soften your landing or correct any ideas you might have that they're bitter toward you. Not everything is manipulative--sometimes we can just speak from the heart with no desire to affect a change.

 

In your corner.

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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