AllAlone7 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Hi all, I'm new here and this is my first post. I was dating my girlfriend for a year and a half. We recently broke up because of my problem with alcohol. We had fights about it before, but one thing led to another and I just did some stupid things that I regret(no i never cheated or physically harmed her). I have however, lost her trust and she now tells me that her guard is up. She says she still loves me but the love is locked up at the moment. To further complicate things she is attending grad school halfway accross the country and wont be home for good until summer at the earliest. I have confronted my problems head on. I never want to hurt anyone the way I hurt her, so I stopped drinking cold-turkey 22 days ago. She still tells me though that it will take a long time to regain her trust. I wake up every morning with her on my mind, and i think about her for every minute of every day that I'm awake. She is the love of my life and I don't want to lose her forever. What else can I do to show her I'm changing?
agent1607307371 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 What else can I do to show her I'm changing? Keep changing. And make it about your life rather than getting her back.
savignon Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Maybe AA?? Time heals, so you have to give her time.
KateW1623 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Look, I know that this relationship issue seems consuming. It probably still has a crushing effect on you. But you have to be sooo proud of yourself for taking a step in the right direction with your addiction, though. And once you really get into overcoming your problem with alcohol and regaining control of your life, you'll start to show. You'll be a lot happier and have more confidence. I think she'll see that your happiness over your health and life have made you a better person. It just might take a little more time. Just keep it up, though, for YOU mainly. You'll be a much better partner for her or anyone if you are happier with yourself. GOOD LUCK WITH EVERYTHING!
AllAlone7 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 Believe me, I am doing it for me. At the same time, it's disconcerting to here "you'll be a much better partner for her or anyone" I want to be with her, not anyone else...
catfeeder Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Congrats on your 22 days. The last guy I broke up with who was an alcoholic wanted me back quickly, too. It doesn't work that way. It's like living in perpetual blackmail, "If you ever make me unhappy, I'll start drinking again." I needed the guy to move on with his life sober for a year or more before I even wanted to hear from him. If there was going to be a shot of me coming back into his picture, I wanted that picture to be a good and healthy life in progress rather than one that revolved around me. Anything short of that is like someone holding a gun to their own head saying, "Look, it's been 22 days and I didn't pull the trigger--c'mere." Uh...no dear. See that future out there? You go there, and maybe I'll meet you on higher ground someday. It just can't work any other way. In your corner.
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