dani_katze Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Last year a work partner suggests me to join Facebook and I did for some months. I realized that I could contact many people I haven't seen for a long period and was quite fun. But I soon realize that people there just maintain contact through internet and few meet in real life... I also watched that many of my friends had hundreds of friends and I feel quite awkward that I had few... I thought, are they really friends??? Soon I thought that for me this isn't a good thing... maybe it will sound strange for you, but it made me feel more alone... I know many people though, but have few friend who I can count on. I am also used to go alone where I want to go (for example for holidays, I don't wait for a friend to join me if there isn't any). And in my country (southamerica) for a women this is really strange... so sometimes that I feel alone and would like those many friends that I see on other's facebook pages... Any thoughts, how do you feel about this way of connecting people?
BellaDonna Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Any thoughts, how do you feel about this way of connecting people? It's personally not for me. I don't have a MySpace or a FaceBook and I refuse to follow technology and I won't (as jokingly refer to it) "cross over to the darkside" and create a page. A lot of my friends have pages and keep asking me when I am going to make one- but I won't. It's a personal goal of mine to never have one. lol The people I want to have contact with are already in my life. I don't see the purpose in re-connecting with people from the past, or people I went to school with. Anyone who was really looking for me for any important reason could easily "Google" me and instantly find my work contact info.
shikashika Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I like facebook, mainly for the fact that I travel and move around a lot and it'a great way to keep in contact , see photos. I ignore any type of application and don't like all the rest of the extra stuff you see on there. I don't add random people, only people I know and I think it's great for getting back into contact with people you haven't seen for a long time. It's also nice to see what they are doing without having to call them and send emails all the time. There was one girl on there who I hadn't seen in nearly 18 years, but we got back into contact and I ended up going to her wedding last summer. Then I met up with a whole bunch of other people I went to school with and got back into contact with them. I don't think it's too difficult to have a few hundred people on there.. I do.. and I know them all, worked with them, traveled with them and have met every single one of them. I've lived in quite a few places so i've met quite a few people.
savignon Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I also have enjoyed it and was able to reconnect with people I hadn't seen in a long time...friends I met traveling, or way back in Elementary school. I've had fun seeing what everyone is up to and have posted/looked at some old pictures and we've all had a good laugh. There are also plenty of people who don't like it or aren't into it and there's nothing wrong with that....do whatever you're comfortable with.
HerDestiny Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I'm a music-lover and it's one of the most important things in the world to me. I met some GREAT people on Myspace thanks to our similar taste in music. We'd talk for a while first and then meet up at the next concert. I wouldn't have randomly bumped into these people in real life. It was much easier to not only find each other on Myspace but I also like the idea that Myspace is personalized enough that you can almost do a background check on people before meeting them. I turned down more people than I met up with because it was pretty obvious by their page and comments their friends would leave them that...they just weren't my type of people. I don't have a lot of experience with Facebook but so far, I think Myspace is more open for meeting new people and the personalization of their pages speaks volumes about them. I found Facebook more dry and dull. Haven't met anybody new through it either. In the past two or three years, I've probably met 5 people through Myspace that I'm still friends with and rather close to. I think it's been great.
Wolf_22 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I hate Facebook and MySpace, but not because of any vendetta I may have with my ex-girlfriends... No, instead, I hate it because of the loneliness issue, too. Every time I go into the campus computer labs, I see nothing but Facebook or MySpace pages on the monitors. It makes my stomach upset. I especially hate it when someone you didn't like in high school does something stupid like send you a "poke" or try to add you to their "buddy list" or whatever. It's pathetic and very hypocritical / two-faced because most of the time, that person feels the same way about you--they just want a higher friend count! People are sinking more and more into this downward spiral of using these things. Who am I to tell them what they should do, though, right? I mean, it's everyone's prerogative, so it is what it is... I just know that my sis out in California is quite the changeling: there used to be a time where she would blab on and on about how awful computers were for our society. Now she's on Facebook everyday.
top bloke Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I tried it . I think nothing beats face to face interaction. The net is good but it takes from interpersonal human interactions. But in saying that i would have never had the contact with you wonderful folks without it.
dr_styles Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Never even used Facebook till recently - was never into MySpace, blogging or anything like that. And well since starting it's kinda turned out the way I thought - a couple of "hey how is it going" (after so long) and then that's it. Kinda like the people on your mobile or MSN list you don't talk to anyway.
somethngwrng Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 People can act pretty fake on Facebook. I have 37 friends, but out of those almost all of them are people I at least talk to on occasion. Then I have a friend who has 1 friend in real life (he spends all his time playing computer games), yet has 200 friends. Many of them are friends of my friends that he has expressed dislike for O.o It's good for keeping in contact but I find some people will pretend as if they want to, whereas you phone them up and they're always "busy".
Stuffy Nose Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I have one, and it's pretty useful. I'm a college student, though, so everybody uses it. Many times it's used to organize events (surprisingly effectively), etc. Aside from real these kinds of things, though, it can be a huge waste of time. I also have ~100 friends and do know every one of them, and see them on a fairly regular basis. I hear it's a magnet for drama, but I've never experienced it.
HeartGoesOn Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I think that "MySpace and Facebook" only cause problems for those that use it as a relationship tool, or to make statements that can cause immature problems. I don't have either, and would rather talk to my friends in person, by e-mail, or the good old-fashioned telephone. Just my opinion...
browneyedgirl36 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I have a Facebook page, and it's kind of a double-edged sword. I like it because I have managed to find people who I hadn't talked to in a LONG time -- or they managed to find me -- and finding them again was a pleasant surprise. Plus, I've been able to keep in better touch with people I've been friends with for ages who live in different cities or states, and who I wouldn't get as much of a chance to talk to without Facebook. The other side of the double-edged sword, of course, is that while there are LOTS of people from my past that I'd love to hear from again, there are some folks who I had hoped to NEVER hear from again, and one of them sent me a friend request recently. I ignored it, but I still feel icky about her even trying to contact me. And, there's the factor of phoniness that surrounds these kinds of things -- people who have 500 "friends," most of whom they never talk to, people who put stuff on their "status" that amounts to bragging about how great their life is or how cool they are, etc. And, I was recently invited to join the group for my elementary/junior high, and I absolutely shudder at the thought. The person who invited me to join is cool, but I have terrible memories of my grade school and junior high years (I was a frequent target of bullies) and seeing some of their names again (some of those former bullies are friends of friends of mine on Facebook), just takes me back to being 11 and 12, and I feel anxious. That said, I do enjoy some of it...some friends and I are currently playing a Scrabble game, for example, which is fun, and I love seeing the videos and other fun stuff people post. So, it's good, in some ways, but it has its downsides. I've promised myself that if I ever start to feel bad about it -- i.e. if my ex gets a page and starts splattering photos of himself and his girlfriend all over the 'net (not likely, but you never know, I guess), I'll be deleting my page.
JadedStar Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I think that "MySpace and Facebook" only cause problems for those that use it as a relationship tool, or to make statements that can cause immature problems. I don't have either, and would rather talk to my friends in person, by e-mail, or the good old-fashioned telephone. Just my opinion... For the most part i agree with you. It can be used by people who simply like to connect with people of his or her past. I personally do not have a passion to stay that much in touch with people who have fallen off my radar, but i know some people have a stronger need for that then I do. I think that for people in relationships it seems to always cause trouble when someone adds some girl or guy from the past, or someone makes an ambiguous comment on their "wall" or things like this...even tho i like to think i am a very secure person even I might have a moment of eyebrow raising if my SO adds some old flame of his past or some females from the past simply becuase I have read so many threads here about people cheating on partners with people from the past they met up with on facebook. My secure side of me knows that i have a faithful partner. My paranoid side might think 'ok why this sudden interest to reconnect'? We (me and my SO) don't use these sites and I am glad he shares my view on this. My daughter and her husband always seem to have some new myspace or facebook drama because of comments made by their friends of opposite sex and i have told them both if it is going to continue to cause such panic why don't you guys delete the darn things? Maybe they like the drama. LOL I personally just hate those sites but try to keep an open mind in that not everyone shares my view on keeping connected to people in the past. When someone falls off my radar in my life there is usually a good reason and not necessarily a negative one. Priorities change, circumstances change, geographical locations change, etc. I don't find that change to be a negative thing in many cases. And i honestly have ZERO interest in recnonecting with anyone from college, high school or gradeschool if i have not kept up wtih them in other ways as well.
melrich Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 My wife uses Facebook and she has gotten in touch with many old friends so that has been a good thing. I occasionally look at her Facebook page and I notice that there are a lot of people who post everytime they fart. There is a lot of dross to sift through. OK I like to stay in touch once in a while but I don't want to hear every stupid thought that comes into your head.
JadedStar Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 My wife uses Facebook and she has gotten in touch with many old friends so that has been a good thing. I occasionally look at her Facebook page and I notice that there are a lot of people who post everytime they fart. There is a lot of dross to sift through. OK I like to stay in touch once in a while but I don't want to hear every stupid thought that comes into your head. I think this is what irritates me. If the little 'wall' comments had some substance to it then i would think it is a nice tool but some people get carried away and post 'had eggs this morning' or "feeling sick from the pizza last night". I can't believe that anyone except the writer really wants to know that. I think if people perhaps wrote things like a thought provoking thought for the day or valuable updates i might not get so irritated but most people write the most flippant comments. My sister writes updates like that (quotes of the day) or things that she finds on the internet that she found valuable. Her page isn't as trifling as many I have seen. Just a personal growl over it. I know it isn't as irritating to everyone else.
melrich Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 "Helen is having happy thoughts" "Poor Michael just bumped his head" "Annie is NOT happy that she ran out of bread" "Jordan had a bad dream" .....it really is a case of get a life.
JadedStar Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I think it is good for new parents as it is a tool to brag about little johnny. New parents or parents of small kids love to be able to post pics and updates and i think that is great that they are so proud of their children. That is a good avenue for them to post and brag away. LOL I am just not sure how many other people find it as valuable but if it makes them feel good to do it then i guess it's a positive thing. With the case of my daughter, she is one such parent, and it is helpful that she does this as i can veiw her myspace or facebook page and get updates and pics without my inbox having to expand to enormous capacity with all of those pics and files sent there directly. That way i can pick and choose which i might like to save. I am notoriously bad at deleting and filing attachments in email and before she used these pages my inbox was constantly reaching capacity. LOL
melrich Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 It's good for pics and genuinely staying in touch. But I suppose at the end of the day, the sort of things that get posted, what it really tells us is that the vast majority of people just do not have much to say.
dani_katze Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 It has been a sorprize that many of you respond my post. Thanks. And it's really interesting to read your point of view. It is also funny to realize that people around those pages behaves in a pretty similar way... "they pretend what they aren't", "they used to write every thought they have"... A work partner who slipt from his wife told me that he met five girls on facebook, with two of them had real encounter... For some works, for others doesn't. I prefer real contact. But ENA has helped me, though, because I think the aim of this page is quite different from facebook...
laisla Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 i've been on facebook for about 3 years, a classmate suggested it to me. at first i didn't use it much but 2 years ago when there was a boom, i was surprised that i found a lot of old friends and classmates, even teachers. and that's when i would add a lot of people and "stalk" pictures. after a while though, i pretty much only used it for sending out event invitations....i barely look at people's pictures anymore unless it's family, i don't talk on it too much, and when i do, i really make plans with people through it. facebook has it's good and bad points. just recently there was a talk about facebook making people narcissistic on the radio today. so true for many!!
JadedStar Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 It's good for pics and genuinely staying in touch. But I suppose at the end of the day, the sort of things that get posted, what it really tells us is that the vast majority of people just do not have much to say. I agree. I guess that is why i prefer forums to social networking sites because i tend to want to say things that might have some hope of helping at least one person and i just haven't gotten the feel that this would be achieved very much from the likes of facebook or myspace. Camaraderie is great but I tend to do it in limitation when i am on the internet and I realize i am not necessarily the 'norm' in that. I usually have the most camaraderie on the net via IM chats or emails. I don't really have a lot to say camaraderie wise to the masses which is kind of what facebook and myspace dictate. I prefer one on one chats with friends, or a small group. And that being said I am off to have such a chat with a real life friend face to face. LOL
BellaDonna Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 "Helen is having happy thoughts" "Poor Michael just bumped his head" "Annie is NOT happy that she ran out of bread" "Jordan had a bad dream" .....it really is a case of get a life. I notice that there are a lot of people who post everytime they fart. HAHA! I could not have said it better. You pretty much summarized why I don't like it.
melrich Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I guess that is why i prefer forums to social networking sites because i tend to want to say things that might have some hope of helping at least one person Well while trying not be biased, on a forum like eNa you get a lot of interesting discussions/problems etc because a lot of people are contributing at the same time. Sites like Facebook and MySpace tend (from what I have seen) to be more insular and introspective. I mean a diary of my life is interesting to me but to everyone else it's very boring. I think the networking aspects of Facebook are good. But the sort of live diary that goes with it is to me very boring and annoying.
whes Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 I also much prefer forums. I am on facebook, but I've also lived in many places so I've lots of friends all over the world, and that's how most of my friends/family get a hold of me rather than thru email. I don't think my page has been actually updated in months besides a few status changes. ENA allows me to be myself, I feel, where, like melrich said, I am participating in real discussions rather than about what I had for dinner or something. But the anonymity of this site is a big factor in that. There's a lot of safety in that. It's very hard to be anonymous on Facebook.
JadedStar Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Well while trying not be biased, on a forum like eNa you get a lot of interesting discussions/problems etc because a lot of people are contributing at the same time. Sites like Facebook and MySpace tend (from what I have seen) to be more insular and introspective. I mean a diary of my life is interesting to me but to everyone else it's very boring. I think the networking aspects of Facebook are good. But the sort of live diary that goes with it is to me very boring and annoying. To me as well. I guess i like a more interactive mode. I was never a diary kind of person. While i enjoy my life, i guess i never found it fascinating enough to journalize LOL.
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