looker Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 My best friend...(the one that I like the most) is really not treating me well at all. He never calls, writes, or texts and it has been 5 months since I called him and actually spoke. (it was his birthday) Now a few nights ago I called him and he did call me back but acted like all is ok. He knows how I feel and that I have told him several times that I would like to communicate more. is this a power thing with him? I wrote him a text and said that I am very sad that he chooses to not contact me and that I will just think about the good times we had b/c at the moment, we have nothing. What I am afraid will happen is that he will make me really mad and hurt and that I will stop caring about him as much as I do...maybe this is what he wantes anyway. It just kills me that he acts like that at 32 years old! Should I just ignore him back?
Clementine orange Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Are you sure he's your friend and not one of those "unrequited/requited love" situations. Because that was my first thought. It is unusual indeed for friends to not respond not not unusual at all for love interests (real or imagined or desired or whatever) to not respond. so, hmmmmmm jsut a thought
Zeitgeist Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 You say that he never calls, writes or texts. Do you? You're making an assumption that he is ignoring you when it's possible that's he's just really busy. If you are interested in more communication, why don't you initiate? After all, it doesn't sound like he ignores you when you do. Was there a time in your friendship when he put in a lot more effort than you?
top bloke Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 He is not your friend. Friends actually care about each other.
looker Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 top bloke. I think that you could be right on some level. Why would I hear from so many people so often, yet not from him. He is no busy than anyone else. Do you think after 5 months of not talking to me he would be wondering what is going on? I have tried to call, and email and with no reply until months later when I try and call again. I am thinking that you are right. If he did care, then he would contact me. I just dont understand what in the world could be going on in his mind. Do you ever notice, the people you want to like you the most don't and the people that you dont really prefer like you the most. I have talked to friends about this and try to say to them that this bothers me about him and they fully understand. I have heard people say that if they did not call him, then he would not call them either. I don't think it means he does not like me....but I want him to want to call and check in as much as I do....or even half as much as I do. But I guess it just wont happen...so upsetting.
looker Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 You know, i really did not know what you were talking about but I actually looke up unrequited love and that is exactly what it sounds like. You know that is why I gave him 5 months to contact me . I called him in September but have not talked to him since just last week when I called him again and he finally returned the call. Until then, it has been no reply to my texts, email, or facebook posts. I do love him, but i guess since it is not reciprocated, I should just drop it and just leave it as another friendship that is not that close...AGAIN! So frustrating.
top bloke Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 Looker.. I think you are right. I dont even know you and have probably been more of a friend hanging around hoping to help you out People that really care about us make some effort to connect with us .Where is the connection from him? They say actions talk louder than words but he isnt giving you any signs of a true friend. I have cared for friends before to be surprised by how much they dont value me.Thats ok...it is just the nature of some people. Move on and next time he needs something just give him the behaviour level of friendship that he has given you. Very inconsiderate..Just dont dwell on it and beat youself up over it.. Personally it doesnt phase me who likes me or not.For me its a matter that I hold my self respect and if good people can admire me then that is a bonus. For me my family come first. Friends come and go most of the time..but my family are until the end. Looker dont fall into the trap of basing your self esteem on who likes you or not.The most important opinion is that of yourself. Have self confidence..stand tall for the person that god intended for you to be. It doesnt matter if the whole world turns against me because people can be fickle. What matters is that you walk the good path and like yourself without approval from friends.Hold your head up high..have no fear..walk with dignity . If he felt as strongly as you did about him then he would be closer... Any more questions then fire away TB
top bloke Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 You know, i really did not know what you were talking about but I actually looke up unrequited love and that is exactly what it sounds like. You know that is why I gave him 5 months to contact me . I called him in September but have not talked to him since just last week when I called him again and he finally returned the call. Until then, it has been no reply to my texts, email, or facebook posts. I do love him, but i guess since it is not reciprocated, I should just drop it and just leave it as another friendship that is not that close...AGAIN! So frustrating. Time is the test of true friendship. Time will show you who is and is not wanting to value your relationship . I think you are putting yourself a bit too much out for him.If he was interested then hed be returning sme communication dont you think? just leave it alone is my final advice. If he was half decent hed contact you..if not stuff him..Move on to newer things. good luck tb
looker Posted February 11, 2009 Author Posted February 11, 2009 He just sent me a text (Wednesday) saying sorry for not getting back to me earlier.... Really? I contacted him on Friday....I don't care how busy you are...his cell phone is attached to his hip and 6 freakin days to "get back to me" I don't even want to reply. The other thing that hurts my feelings is that my dad was diagnosed with cancer and he has known for over a month and a half about it but never called to check in on me. That is just wrong! I mean, have a heart man.
top bloke Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 He just sent me a text (Wednesday) saying sorry for not getting back to me earlier.... Really? I contacted him on Friday....I don't care how busy you are...his cell phone is attached to his hip and 6 freakin days to "get back to me" I don't even want to reply. The other thing that hurts my feelings is that my dad was diagnosed with cancer and he has known for over a month and a half about it but never called to check in on me. That is just wrong! I mean, have a heart man. Hmm step back and carefully look at your friendship. Also a good friend would call on hearing a relatives bad illness. I really feel that you are giving too much of yourself and getting all upset when they dont reciprocate.. Step back..
easiersaid Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 i have learned that the people you give the most to and care about the most are the ones who just do not appreciate or value that. but the ones you dont consider to be that close to are the ones who seem to care more. irony is a huge B--TCH
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