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First time dating in 10 years... Would appreciate some advice.


yuki

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I have a dating dilemma and was wondering if you can give me some advice. I recently found myself back in the dating scene after taking hiatus for 10 years (I was in a dragging, long-term relationship which ended almost 2 years ago). Needless to say, I am very rusty in this game. I am also shy, to make matters worse.

 

Recently I met this interesting gentleman. He asked me out and we went on a few dates. He initiated everything and I just followed along. I could tell he was into me and I liked him, too. But I found it hard to open myself up. I am very attracted to him, but at the same time nervous and afraid. I've been feeling closed up emotionally and physicall for so many years, and he's the first man I'm dating in 10 years (he doesn't know this).

 

Anyway, when we met last time, he said he was very attracted to me, but things were progressing too slowly and he wanted to take things to the next level, to which I didn't know how to respond. After practically nothing was happening on the physical level, he stopped contacting me altogether. After not hearing from him for several days, though, I sent him an e-mail and asked him out (it was the first time I initiated something with him). I honestly wasn't sure if I was going to hear back from him but figured I had nothing to lose. To my surprise he did respond, after a few days of delay though, and agreed to meet, but I feel his tone has changed and his attitude toward me feels different now. We are meeting later this week.

 

Do you think this "relationship" (or lack thereof) has run its course and I should just let it go? Is he still interested? Do we still have a chance? What should I tell him when we meet next?

 

I've been thinking a lot lately about living with no regrets and pushing forward despite fear. Dating is not natural for me at the moment, but I want to continue forcing myself to get out there and take some chances. I'm just not sure what to do about my current situation. Thanks for your advice.

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I don't have the years under my belt to tell you that I understand exactly what you are going through, or how you feel however nobody really does. Nobody will really understand just how you feel unless you tell them.

 

With that being said, I think you should open up to the guy. He may be much more understanding and likely to take things slow if he understands your position on dating.

 

It may be easier said than done, but I in all of my life experiences all of the times that I have trusted, and loved as though I had never been hurt before ended up being at least a learning experience, if not somewhat rewarding.

 

Challenge yourself to break down your walls, and let people in for it would be a great shame to deny yourself the privilege of being in good company, and potentially being happy in a relationship once again!

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