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How to let her know it's too soon?


riley123

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Hey guys,

 

So I’ve been seeing someone for just about a month now and things have been going really, really well. We definitely have ‘the spark’ which is very exciting.

 

Anyway, I was with her last night and she mentioned that she’d like me to stay over next weekend. I’m not sure if that implies sleeping with me – or just spending the night together, but a big part of me (and I know as a guy that I sound pathetic, LOL) feels like it’s just too soon. I’ve dated a lot of girls in the last year, but really haven’t experienced a connection like this, and I’d hate to for it to change.

 

So, my question is how and what do I tell her so she’s not offended? She extended the invite so I guess she could interpret it as a rejection of some kind. So ladies I could really use your advice…

 

Do I just tell her the truth? Make up an excuse? Other suggestions?

 

Thanks, everyone!

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Do you not what her to stay over 1 night or you dont want to have sex yet? OR both?

 

Either way I think you should be completely honest & tell her you want to take things slow, personally I would not be offended & would think you are being really respectful, considersate & overall a great guy.

 

Do not make up an excuse!!

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I would be open to spending the night with her, but I’m not sure if I would be able to just 'spend the night,' ha-ha, I’m very attracted to her. And I’d rather not put either of us in that situation only to end up regretting it.

 

Ok, I figured honesty would be best.

 

Any suggestions for how I should/could phrase it? I really don’t want her to think I’m rejecting her somehow, and I know girls have a way of dissecting things!

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If you two are getting along so well, have been together for a bit now, and have the "spark" then I guess I'm a bit confused as to why your worried this would be something either of you regret.

 

Of course, if your not comfortable with it, I don't think you should...but I'm just not sure why you think this would change your connection in a bad way?

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Riley - I have to think about this but I gotta run, I will post something more thought out later.

 

But I would love if a guy said something along the lines of "I love spending time with you, I feel like we have a great connection but dont want to do anything too soon that might hurt our future"

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If you two are getting along so well, have been together for a bit now, and have the "spark" then I guess I'm a bit confused as to why your worried this would be something either of you regret.

 

Of course, if your not comfortable with it, I don't think you should...but I'm just not sure why you think this would change your connection in a bad way?

 

I don't know. I haven't been with anyone else since my ex, and sex is a pretty big deal to me. I guess that I'm really enjoying getting to know her on a very basic level and would be worried about 'sleeping with someone too soon' syndrome.

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i guess i don't see it the way you do. you are seeing this girl for this long and you don't feel the physical yet? just weird to me.

 

Yea, I know…it’s a little strange to hear this from a guy. LOL.

 

I could certainly get physical -- and certainly want to, but I guess the bottom line is that I want to continue getting to know her before we sleep together.

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Yea, I know…it’s a little strange to hear this from a guy. LOL.

 

I could certainly get physical -- and certainly want to, but I guess the bottom line is that I want to continue getting to know her before we sleep together.

 

 

So tell her just that!! There is nothing wrong with it & actually quite rare to find a guy that wants this. She is a very lucky lady - IMO.

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it's not that you are a guy, but she is ready to take it to the next level. i just don't see where the dynamic would change. i think if it's going as well as you say so far, this might bring you closer or she will feel much closer to you.

 

Good points, Ghost....

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Yea, I know…it’s a little strange to hear this from a guy. LOL.

 

I could certainly get physical -- and certainly want to, but I guess the bottom line is that I want to continue getting to know her before we sleep together.

 

Tell her this! You are going to be honest with her, and its coming from your heart. At first I would think she would be a little surprised to hear this from a guy, but once it sinks in I'm sure she will think you are very sweet and respectful. At least I think that.

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i guess i don't see it the way you do. you are seeing this girl for this long and you don't feel the physical yet? just weird to me.

 

Well, it has only been a month, he says, that he has been dating her. Now, if it was longer than that, maybe four or five months, and the guy told me that, than I would start wondering if he wasn't attracted to me. Happened to me once, it was six months already, and he never tried anything with me (said he was a conservative and respectful guy). I just felt that he didn't like me at all. And sure enough, he faded out.

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How To Tell Someone You Like Them (...
How To Tell Someone You Like Them (Without Screwing Up)

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