hopefulseven Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Okay, so, big surprise in my email inbox today: she wrote me. Broken up for 6 months now, NC for almost 2 months, which was the last time I saw her, over Christmas. The email is incredibly brief. It follows: I realized I haven't talked to you since Christmas, and I was thinking about you. This e-mail is pretty much just: Hey [hopefulseven], what's up? Okay, so it seems my fear that NC would cause her to forget about me was misguided. NC, in fact, may be awesome. But here's the thing, I'm RIDICULOUSLY neurotic at over-analyzing things. So what the hell does this mean? I'm gonna hold off responding until I'm ready, but I need to know what this means before I can respond. The other thing of importance, as far as I'm concerned, is that this was sent at like 3:30 in the morning. She works early Mondays, and as best I know isn't usually up this late on a Sunday. Help! Hahaha
jettison Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 As no one can tell anything just from looking at a line of text in an email, are you asking what's the most likely scenario? A) She has been dating someone for awhile, and now he's being a jerk, and it isn't working out. You = Plan B. B) Her dating life is going extremely well. She has a new boyfriend, it's going great, and they're having sex all the time. She's happier then she's been in a long time. Now, she's just peaking her head out of hibernation for a few moments just to say "hello" to everyone that she's forgot about. I know this isn't great news, but it's the most likely news. And sure, there is... C) Although she dumped you, now she's feeling like she made a terrible mistake. So, she's throwing out feelers to see if you'll date her again. To be honest though, that's by far the most unlikely of the 3. And even if it is C, your insecurity, and her original disillusionment with your relationship together will make making it work long term a long shot at the very best.
Simply Brett Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 Don't think too much into what I'm about to say, just understand this is strictly my opinion and nothing more. (I'm stating this since you mentioned you analyze things a bit much.) With that being said, if someone wrote to me at 3:30 am I would likely brush it off especially if it's an ex. Nobody I know would be awake at that hour for any reason other than recent heart break, or liquor. (Neither of which I'm going to deal with since this person is my ex.) It sounds to be (from my experience) that she was either recently heart broken and couldn't sleep and was forced to think about "where you and her went wrong" or the alcohol was talking, and not so much her. Either way, don't digress, the fact remains that she is an Ex for a reason. Try to recall these reasons, recall the pain of heartache, loss, and fear and don't let that become your life again. When people split up, it's usually for the best in both of their lives regardless of who leaves who. Take it for what it is, I suggest only writing her back if you are mentally prepared for more possible confusion which no doubt this will cause. Be strong, and remember if you don't look out for your feeling nobody else can so I strongly recommend not even writing back, erase the email to avoid the temptation.
lostandhurt Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I know it won't be easy but try and take it on face value. What is up? NC is for you to have time away to heal and grow. Have you? If you choose to reply then be honest and keep your feelings out of it. Be brief and to the point. Don't ask questions because you might not get the answer you want to hear. Jettison has hit the most likely reasons but it shouldn't matter since you are broken up and free to do what you wish. don't let this control your life..... lost
hopefulseven Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 Well Jet, I certainly appreciate the honesty of your tone, haha. Here's what I think we can say with certainty about the situation: She's thinking about me, which is a good thing. Why she's thinking about me, well, that's to be determined. It could be that there's this plan-B scenario, but I'm pretty sure she's not seeing anyone seriously. If anything, I think it's more likely that she's become disillusioned with the solitude and transiency of dating and being single, and is missing the security of our relationship. I'm not saying she wants to get back together, not at all, but that I think she's thinking about me because being single isn't as good or easy as she thought it would be. As for peeking her head out to say hello, well, as I said before, I don't think she's seeing anybody. I probably would have heard about it from mutual friends. Even if she was, I'd think it would be less likely for her to be thinking about and contacting me when she's successfully connecting with someone else. But it's not impossible. I agree that option C is the least likely. I don't think she's trying to send out feelers, especially while I'm still living a couple thousand miles(? not sure on actual distance, I'm in Canada) away. And the few other areas I would have to disagree are regarding my insecurity, which I think is easily misinterpreted from my neuroses (I'm not insecure, just painfully meticulous, haha), and her disillusionment with our relationship. We broke up for reasons of distance and career. Though I will admit that she's the dumper, the real breakup occurred after our initial, mutual breakup. Anyway, I don't know, but I need as much insight as possible on this. More help please!
hopefulseven Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 Wow, you guys are fast. Thanks a lot, Lost and Brett. Good insight there as well. Downside, Brett, is that I do want her back. I'm going to try and get her back, and thus the analysis. We never had really huge problems, and a lot of them have been worked on since the breakup, as they were mine. Lost, you're probably the most correct to this point. I shouldn't even be reading so much into this. I just want to be sure that I'm playing at all levels of the game, know what I mean? Oyyy Anyways, thanks guys
hopefulseven Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 Okay, so yeah, I wrote her back. I think it went over well, but I guess I won't really know unless I hear back one way or the other. Thanks all.
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