Jump to content

I hate my brother and its all because of my parents


missmebaby

Recommended Posts

I am 22 years old and my brother is 18. For the last 5 years or so my parents have continuously stuck up for my brother over me in situations that are OBVIOUSLY his fault. This is bringing me to very openly despise my brother....i mean i truly think he is an a-hole and cant stand to be around him. the worst part is he knows he can get away with anything he says or does to me.

 

for instance last summer i was sitting at my desk at my computer and my brother has the nerve to come into my room uninvited and grab my digital camera without asking. i told him to put it down, that he was not using it without asking and that he couldnt just come into my room and take my things. well he pretty much told me to screw off so i grabbed it and tried to take it away and he elbowed me accross the face and threw me accross the room into my tv which tipped over onto the floor. My parents were irate at ME!! they said it was all my fault that i should have just let him use it. they didnt talk to me for 2 weeks and they didnt say a word to my brother about it, they treated him like nothing happened.

 

then tonight he asks to use my new laptop. he promised it would only take 5 mins and he just needed to print a paper for school. so i let him use it. after 45 mins i told him i needed it back. he actually argued with me and threw a fit after i let him use it 40 mins longer than he had asked for. he came into my room gripping it with one hand and waving it around then set it down hard on my desk. i picked it up and opened the lid, turned it on, and it immediately began making a loud whirring noise and wont go past the welcome screen. i tried over and over again but it keeps doing the same thing. i ran some tests and my hard drive is shot! my brother broke it either through something that he did when it was on or when he was waving it around and practically tossed it onto my desk. i told him about it and he said that i must have done it and he wasnt giving me any money or having it fixed. i went to my parents very angrily and told them what happened and my dad told me i was crazy, that it was nothing my brother did to it and that i must have done it or that the computer was junk. (its brand new and never had a problem!!). my parents totally stuck up for my brother and said i was making a big deal out of nothing.

 

that is just 2 examples, there have been many other times when they have acted like he is the perfect child and never does anything wrong. they honestly never stick up for me. i am really beginning to hate my brother which is horrible but hes turning into a jerk because of the pedestal they put him on and he walks around with a smug smile on his face. does anyone else think this is a ridiculous situation and my parents are being very unfair??? any advice??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's hard to understand why you're in this situation at 22 years old. I'm not saying that they don't baby your brother--maybe they do. But, they way you interact with him could be more mature, as well. You and he are fighting like young kids, when you are both actually adults. I bet your parents get tired of negotiating arguments for their grown kids. Why don't you talk to your parents about setting some boundaries concerning your space (your room) and your belongings. Do you pay rent or any expenses? If so, then you are in a position to request more privacy and autonomy. If they aren't receptive, then you probably should have different expectations about what it will be like to be living at home. If it's an option to move out, I'd explore that. In the meantime, I'd find a secure place for my valuables and begin considering other living arrangements, if at all possible.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Twenty two is a pretty mature age to be living at home with your parents and fighting with your younger brother. Maybe it would be better for both of you if you could move out and get your own place. Until you're able to do that, I doubt that you're going to be able to change this dynamic. It's been forming over 18 years and seems unlikely to change now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Time to grow up, man!

 

If you read your original post, but leave out the ages, it sounds like two brothers in their early teens fighting over who gets the top bunk!

 

I'm not defending your brother or your parents, but you need to start acting like a 22 year old and not a 12 year old.

 

As for your parents, there must be a reason why they always believe/stickup for your younger brother. Is there some past history you would like to share so we can understand.

 

Finally, I doubt that this all happened overnight. If they are taking your brothers side now, they have probably done it for the past 18 years.

 

Of course, the standard answer is to sit down with your parents and talk to them calmly and politely when you and your brother ARE NOT FIGHTING. DOn't try and have a conversation after a fight. Calmly tell them your concerns and explain what you see is happening.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ok how have i acted immaturely?? i was the one minding my own business when he took something that was mine. i asked for it back and he took it anyways so i tried to get it back. what adult WOULDNT try to get something back when someone takes it from them? what should i have done then???? let him get away with it so he can do it over and over again and always be taking things from me??

 

and last night about my laptop i was the mature one who allowed him to borrow it, then i let him use it for a lot longer than he asked for. when he brought it back to me broken i didnt fight with him, i went directly to my parents so they could intervene. again, what did i do wrong there?

 

and about me living at home, i moved out for awhile but i am a full time nursing student in my last semester of school. i graduate in may and intend on moving out but for now i go to school 5 days a week and have no time to make enough money to support myself. the majority of people i know that are my age still live at home with their parents. most of us are still in college and dont have our careers established yet.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ok how have i acted immaturely??

 

I think you should ignore the 4 spiteful responses to this thread. I understand what you're saying and if I were you I would put a lock on your door and do not let your brother use anything of yours. Be polite and civil to him but no more until HE learns to grow up and respect your possessions. Until you move out there is little else you can do. Your parents are clearly favouring your brother over you and they wrong to do that. Good luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

My brothers girlfriend Kayla is in the same situation. Her parents blame her for everything and let the son do anything he wants. My brother BJ sold his car to her brother for a really cheap price. Well... the parents bought it for him from my brother. Anyway, Kayla worked on her own and bought her car on her own. Upon seeing his new car that mom and dad bought for him, he decided he didn't want to drive it to his friends house. He told Kayla to let him drive her car and she refused as she was just getting ready to go see BJ. her brother threw a fit and her mom and dad yelled at Kayla for being selfish and told her to let him use her car and that she can drive his. The gas tank was empty in his car and she asked him for gas money and he refused so she had to put gas in his car while he drove hers around.

 

It's really messed up and I am completely flabbergasted at how stupid some people can be.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...