i told her I need a break and then she ended it

[sombersun]

To make a long story short...I told my gf I needed a break.

I felt as though she was walking all over me.

That and her drinking caused me a lot of stress. She is also bipolar.

 

She is an alcoholic and I told myself I would give her another chance.

She didn't know this and at the time during a breakdown discussion, she suggested I give her another chance.

 

But her chance already expired in my mind.

She started to see a therapist again and went to a few AA meetings.

During a brief talk about US, she said she isn't ready for a relationship which i whole heartedly agree.

I am not abandonign her and I support her but this just really sux.

And it's sad because I do care about her and want to be happy.

 

This relationship made me think about things I've never felt before such as How much should I forgive and where is the line.

I don't have a problem with recreational alcohol and drug use but I've always been around people in control. Whereas she lacks this control.

 

Alcoholism is a real eye opener because she's the first one I've met.

Now I understand how terrible it can be and the differences between having a good time and lack of control.

 

I spent most of my time trying to figure out if I was doing the right thing around her. I wanted to treat her as an equal...and adult.

By making her accountable for her own actions.

It just seems as much as I cared , she was unwilling to take hold of the reigns for me or herself...which put me in an uneasy spot of not knowing what crazy episode would be next.

 

not fun and I'm really depressed about it all.

 

Was I supposed to put my foot down and yell and say stop your stuff or was it best to just tell her how I felt and back away.

I guess she cares enough for me to stop causing me stress and backing off or never really cared for me in the first place.

I guess I'll never know.

 

feel kinda sad and confused. but sadly relieved too.

I want her, but i know i don't need her.

[Stereohead]

In my honest opinion. Tell her the truth. And back off and let her come to you. Ask your questions and see if she answers…if she doesn’t don’t worry about it. Sometimes people aren’t meant to be…She needs to realize that she needs some control in her life…otherwise a relationship isn’t going to last. Let her know you’d be happy to be there for her, as a friend for awhile…but right now with her “issues” a relationship isn’t fair (on your part).