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What should I do next?


mr_m4x
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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Me and my ex broke up about 4 months ago. I was the "dumper" but we both know that she was the one who wanted to break up, it's clear between both of us that I am the dumpee. If you want some more background on why, how and everything else, please feel free to check my older threads.

 

We began talking on early January and we even had lunch once, we'd speak every 2 or 3 days, kept the conversations short and fun, not related to us. Now I'm a little bit puzzled over what's going on right now. We spoke everyday from Thursday of last week until Tuesday, we were asking each other out but we never managed to have a date, either I was busy or she was busy, all kind of things that prevented us from seeing each other. She had a big week on her job and was getting out as late as midnight from Tuesday until Friday.

 

I asked her to go on a dinner and a movie date and she agreed, only that she has been unable to complete her side of the date because of her job requirements. Our last contact was on Tuesday where I got turned down again. I acted as I didn't care as I knew she was getting out late of her job and I'm in no position of demanding anything from her right now.

 

But a call over the weekend or a simple text message wouldn't have hurt.

 

What should I do? Should I contact her and ask her out again? Should I keep waiting or should I just realize that she was testing the waters with me and forget about it? Or just let it be?

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So today we spoke for the first time since Tuesday.

 

As it's becoming usual for me, every time I think about moving on or really trying to forget about her, she shows up somehow. Today I was telling one of my friends that I was going to forget about her and out of the blue she wrote me on msn. Again, it's like she's listening to my thoughts.

 

Then she came online at around midnight and I asked what was she doing awake that late. She replied that she was arriving home, she was at the movies with one of her girlfriends. It kind of hit me because right now she's staying alone at her house, her father and his wife are on a 10 day trip to Spain. It hit me because if we'd still be together, I'd be staying at her house right now as we speak, but instead, I'm over here writing this post because we are obviously not together anymore.

 

I want her back.

 

And I get the feeling that she's kind of insecure about what she wants. I wish she'd make up her mind. I'm tired of feeling like this, I know that it is in my hands to stop doing it but I just can't, this that I feel for her is greater than anything I've ever felt before and I just can't make it go away. I've come a long way since break up day 4 months ago but I still think about her every hour that I'm awake, I wish for us to start over but I know that me chasing her or pressuring her might just push her further away, after all, she doesn't know what she wants right now, but I do.

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