trying to make a male friend

[theBestFriend]

I have a good acquaintance from work and class that I would like to spend time with. We get along great, but since we no longer work together or share a class, I don't see him as much as I'd like.

 

I asked him to hang out, and it seemed like he was really into it, until he sketched out. I called him about it, and he said he had something to do (when earlier he told me he was free).

 

Before I move any further, I need to know if there is some procedure to making male friends that I am unaware of. Should I have not just said "hang out", knowing it would just be the two of us? We don't have many readily available mutual friends. I do not want to date him; I just think he would make an awesome friend.

 

I was not flirting or suggestive in any way. I try to be straight forward about what I want (which is not always a good idea, I know).

 

Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated

[pleeze.help]

Being assertive about what you want is absolutely what you want to do. Maybe something came up and he couldn't hang out. He might've met someone (girlfriend) and made plans with her?

[pleeze.help]

He probably didn't cancel on purpose or anything. It doesn't sound like it.

[thinkorswim]

I thought I had a male friend, but he ended our friendship when he said he "met someone".

I don't know why this required him to end all communication with me but it certainly made me feel naive, stupid and hurt.

I think you might want to use caution when it comes to male-female friendships. If you want to be friends, I think you'd be better off asking him to get together with a specific event or activity.

Ask him to a concert or sporting event or something, not just a vague "hang out".

But be aware that sometimes men don't want women friends when they become romantically involved with someone, for whatever reason. You might find yourself as I did: a Persona non grata in his life.

[theBestFriend]

yeah, i know the deal.

 

i've had many a male friend either a)confessed his undying affection for me b)left me when he found a girl who agrees to sleep with him c)did not talk to me after we had an awkward break-up (don't date male friends). I just seem to get along better with guys, so I'm trying to do it right this time.

 

i'm gonna get together with this new guy soon, but i don't know what we should do...any suggestions?

 

thanks so much btw for the advice