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new boyfriend much smaller than ex, does it get better?


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I have a lovely lovely new boyfriend, and have just started sleeping with him - he is great but i cannot lie that I was a bit disappointed when I first got a feel of down there and found out his penis is a lot smaller than my ex-boyfriends.

 

I havent slept with many people and i'm sure his penis is not tiny, however i am realising just how massive my ex-boyfriend was. he turned out to be quite a bas**rd but my god, there were fireworks in the bedroom! he was incredibly passionate and i've never had sex like it. Its taken me a long time to get over him as my heart was badly broken. I'm so happy ive finally met someone lovely but I'm really worried the sex will not be as good. I know it gets SO much better the more you know each other etc, and I've been having a browse of posts about positions to try etc but the question i'm asking is will my treacherous mind stop the comparison? Will I forget how incredible my ex was and be able to re-create such fireworks with a much smaller penis? Has anyone been in this position and then genuinely found that it didnt matter at all after a time?

 

Thanks

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Perhaps your breasts don't quite match up to this guy's ex-girlfriend's breasts and maybe he is wondering if he will be as turned on by you since your breasts are nowhere near as attractive as his ex's breasts. Maybe he is wondering if he will ever be able to put the ex's breasts behind him and have the sizzle and fireworks in the bedroom with your less than stellar breasts.

 

My point is, you are making major assumptions on his sexual prowess and ability to please you simply on his penis size. Where is your ex now? Not with you...so clearly there is more to a relationship than sex with someone who is well hung. Perhaps you are not yet ready to be in a relationship..because if you were you wouldn't be comparing penis sizes and you wouldn't give a thought to the sex you had with your ex, you would simply being looking forward to the day when you and this "lovely, lovely new boyfriend" will get it on.

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I think good sex is as much about sexual chemistry as organ size... Are you missing the 'bad boy' element of the sex? If that's so, you can try to spice up the sex life more by being more experimental to see if your mind gets more engaged and excited about the sex.

 

Some of the best sex i've ever had was with someone with a smaller penis, but he certainly knew how to create sexual energy and make sex exciting.

 

So perhaps you need to work on the chemistry thing with your boyfriend. find ways to spice the sex up with toys etc. rather than just focusing on the physical mechanics of a large penis.

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I'm flabbergasted that you are even asking this question, when the only true way to find out is to...I mean, are our repsonses to your question the best way to answer this one. Plus, should you really be discussing your new boyfriends penis, on line in this way with the rest of us? I hope he isn't doing the same over your breasts, bottom and fanny!

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The way you talk about your ex and how passionate he was. I picked up that you aren't over your boyfriend. It will be impossible to actually feel passionate about anyone else, if your mind is still stuck on your ex. It's not anything bad on your part. It's just something that you have to think about. Something you might have to ask yourself.

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youll get used to it that as all i can say. my current bf i much smaller than my ex. it was hard to get used to it. the way it felt in my mouth/hand and how it didnt feel as good inside me, but after a while he will become the norm for you and things will be fantastic. i now think my bf's penis is the best ever, but a year and a half ago, i didnt know if i could get used to it. took about 6 months to truly forget what i was used to and appreciate him and his awesome penis

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hm...you should keep an open mind with him. please don't assume that his size will mean a lack of his ability. also, most couples will have to communicate about what they like and don't like, in order to have great sex that satisfies them both.

 

your ex was good in the bedroom, it wasn't all about his size right? so this guy can be the same.

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Seems to me like you're not over your ex? Or you haven't kicked him off that pedestal yet and are idolizing him making him out to be some "Sex god" thanks to his penis size?

 

Does it get better? The answer is simple: when you think long and hard about it and realise that what you had with your ex was just sex, and with your bf (hopefully) something more then maybe it'll get much better. And you guys can always experiment with different things/tecniques/positions.

 

For me sex has gotten better with my bf due to us closer and closer this past year.

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Seems to me like you're not over your ex? Or you haven't kicked him off that pedestal yet and are idolizing him making him out to be some "Sex god" thanks to his penis size?

 

Does it get better? The answer is simple: when you think long and hard about it and realise that what you had with your ex was just sex, and with your bf (hopefully) something more then maybe it'll get much better. And you guys can always experiment with different things/tecniques/positions.

 

For me sex has gotten better with my bf due to us closer and closer this past year.

 

sorry, but I love the "long and hard" reference on this thread ;-)

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What I've read so far makes me feel like a shallow, shallow person.

My ex was huge (ok, only like 7.5, but I'm 5'1"--It felt huge!), and the only other guy I've sleep with had a 3 in desparity. I really like him, and sex really isn't about penetration, and all that. But the physical difference? Is still there! It made me realize how kegels really are important...because while I always felt tight to my ex (even towards the end, I had to be way turned on for him to get mostly in), in comparison, I must have felt extremly lose to my friend! Your body does stretch...and it's harder to tighten things back up, but you can do it. Kegels!

If your curious, it still was awesome...but different.

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I imagine this has to do more with technique than just penis size. I've never heard of a woman being displeased with a new BF because he just doesn't measure up to her massive dildo.

 

I'd advise to focus more on the changeable, and less on the unchangeable... or trade in for a new "model".

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  • 1 year later...

I'm really sorry and disapointed in some of these responses. YOu have a very valid question, and you deserve a decent answer. I too had a boyfriend with a bigger penis. I didn't realize how nice it was until I started dating around. My new boyfriend is great. There is soo much energy and potential. but he is smaller. I'm having a hard time feeling it inside me sometimes, and slipping out. It makes me feel like a loose amazon women. I do not feel pretty or sexie and it's hard for me to stay in the mood. These are the facts people. size does matter at some level. As a women I have a RIGHT, to state my feelings, my observations. To be truthful about that. To be online and ask and discuss these issues in a discreet manner. We are looking for answers, for solutions. Some of your responses are to ignore our feelings and to feel ashamed for even asking. That's NOT how a loving relationship works.

SO yeah I would like to know how to take care of it. How to overcome this to move on with a healthy loving positive fulfilling relationship.

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YES!!

 

It does matter to some women. It's true, can't be denied. Just like other physical characteristics are deal breakers for people, of BOTH sexes. Penis size can very well matter.

 

I went from a string of very well endowed men to my ex with a...well...below average penis size (and not in comparison to the big guys before him...just...small.) and while I stayed with him for about 3 years, and had decent sex with him and managed to make it work (I DID tighten up over time...KEGELS, ladies!!!), I still have to admit that the guy I'm seeing now, who has a larger penis by quite a bit, feels MUCH better inside me. Yep, I like to be filled up. Deal with it! haha...

 

Anyway, it is possible to "get over" a smaller penis, to get used to it - and you will tighten up and you will find positions that make him feel like he's filling you up more -- BUT...in my personal experience, nothing beats a more well-endowed man. Just being honest.

 

The only way for OP to find out though, is to take it for a test drive. To be fair, don't write him off after the first time. It took me some time to adjust to the feeling of a smaller penis, it took even more time for him and I to get into a good groove. Allow that to happen before you make up your mind.

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To be honest, I think you should choose another guy. What's wrong with that? That is an honest opinion. People dump people over so many reasons. Just don't tell him that is the reason. Tell him "it's not you, it's me" or something like that. I think a small penis problem would always be a sticking point in your relationship. And just imagine if your new bf finds out about it? That won't be nice. So yeah, break up. No big deal.

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Its a two way street remember. A woman has her right to preference. I have had several friends who are of average, above average, large endowment have experiences where the womans privates were, lets say, rather volumous. Some guys prefer petite, tight woman, while others prefer the opposite...nothing wrong with preference...give it a try and if its that much of an issue in your mind, give the guy the courtesy of letting him go without telling him the actual reason. For what its worth...if it were truly love, you wouldnt be thinking about past relationships while with him.

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Once you've had something really large, then sometimes you can't go back to smaller. Sorry to say, things stretch out. This is why I don't have sex with anyone who is larger than 5'...It would hurt so I stay with smaller. You may prefer to stick with bigger. That's ok.

 

If you're not happy, you need to leave. But please, for the love of god, don't tell him you're leaving because of his size or he sucks in bed. That will rip his esteem into bits. Just say you're not compatible some other way and go. He can't help his size or the fact that you had bigger before...

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It's reality that a woman being with a larger guy will always feel cheated if she ends up with a guy who only has half as much to offer her.

This is true even if she was living near starvation because the big guy was a poor provider of all the other things she cherishes.

This is one reason that I have found that I never wish to date virgins since I can easily tell if they have been having intercourse with any of the multitudes of larger men available to them.

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I think you can overcome this if you choose to. You have to be honest with yourself and decide what is important. I am certain that if you are not satisfied and explain to your man your needs without saying I need you to have a penis twice your current size like my ex had, that he will do his best to satisfy you if he is anything as caring as you describe. If you cannot get over it, please let him go asap without telling him his penis is too small. I am all about honesty but not sure that brutal of honesty would be productive for him, who knows maybe it would. Honest or not, if penis size is a dealbreaker, let him go.

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