Broke the no contact rule! But...

[Need_to_know]

I heard some things that made me think I may have a chance at getting back with her.

 

We had been together for 7 months off and on, we always find our way back to each other. It would have been 4 months steady Wed.

 

About 6 days ago she tells me she's afraid she might have to let me go for awhile while she fixes herself and catches up on school. She makes it sound like a break. So, the morning after I send quite a few text messages and calls telling her about how much I love her and whatnot... she gets extremely upset... so I...

 

initiate No Contact Rule... lol

 

 

At that point, she was sure we were done, I was not.

 

 

 

I call a couple days later to make sure of things, and that's when I actually find out we're done.

 

 

So, a couple days more go by of no contact.

 

 

On the 6th day I get anxious and send a text that says "it's been a couple days... my mind is clear... can we talk?"... not 15 seconds later I get a phone call from her.

 

 

We talk she tells me about her day, school... whatever. I act as cool as can be, tell about good times I've had with friends, new job possibilities, whatever.

 

Then we touch a little on the relationship... I recently took pictures of her off my myspace page, she does the same after me removes me from her top friends (sorry to mention that... I know it sounds immature, but it really does say a lot)

----------------------

This part makes me believe something is still there

----------------------

I ask "was it absolutely necessary to take me off your top friends?"

 

she angrily replies "was it absolutely necessary to take every picture of me off your myspace??"

 

**She then tells me that she's still keeping all the photos she deleted on her computer**

 

**And also tells me talking to me is making her feel a lot better (like I said earlier, school is stressing her)**

 

 

at the end of the conversation she tells me she'll talk to me tomorrow.

----------------------

 

now, I've broken the "no contact rule". I'm pretty sure she's still interested, but I don't know how to make her miss if she's still talking to me. Last time we broke up, we stayed close friends after we broke up and ended back up together... so I'm not sure what path to follow...

[Need_to_know]

Could someone possibly move this to the "getting back together" forum

[Stereohead]

I was in an on and off again relationship as well last year. And we knew we loved each other…but every break was so unbearably hard to cope with. I was starting to watch the signs early and I ended up breaking up with him the last time we went out. I couldn’t process why we could always end up back together, but never could stay together…not until now at least.

 

We both weren’t ready to be in such a committed relationship. (He had me move to Virginia with him. So I was living with him, his mother and sister.)

 

I had just gotten out of High School and my life had taken a nasty turn because I felt like I had no control over my life. I was being talked into whatever direction I should lead…

 

But yeah. For it to truly work, before you get back together with this girl. You both need to remember you can’t have a stable/healthy relationship by going on and off. It’s either your there through thick or thin…or you’re never going to be.

 

In my opinion, it’s unhealthy for breaking up a lot. –causes a lot of stress…

 

If you haven’t already, support her with her schooling and make sure she’s keeping up with her studying. –Give her more space in the relationship and just call/text telling her you care about her/or how she’s doing.

 

In regards to what you should do now. Give her time. Don’t text her everyday to see how she feels…friends usually don’t call everyday. Heck, on Valentines Day (considering its right around the corner) buy her some flowers…Do little things that show your affection…and when you both are ready. Try and find out how the two of you can work everything out.

 

Make her tell you what she finds “aggravating” about you…that causes her to break up with you. And vise versa. If you have that sort of open communication, you may be able to avoid a potentional break up if she feels comfortable being straightforward with you.

 

-Sounds like things are going well, just confusing to the persons involved. So I do wish you luck with it all…

 

And I’m sorry if I made no since at all! I’ve only been asleep for a 2-3 hours and it’s really early! Lol. (For me).

[Need_to_know]

I don't wanna lay any blame on me, but I know some is there.

 

She goes to school from 8 - 5, 4 times a week. This is her third attempt at school... she's flunked out twice and is terrified of losing grip again and flunking out again.

 

I usually don't get to see her during those 4 days because of school... and that upset me... talk to her about it... I also mentioned a break up if she couldn't spend more time with me... that probably stressed her out... so soon that made her cling more and being upset I pushed her away more... so I think I was definitely sending mixed messages...

 

So, looking at this I can tell that I did some wrong and have some apologizing... lol I shouldn't have put more stress on her... wow...

 

 

I'm pretty sure we'll get back together and I know I'll think a little about her next time.

[volpe]

You can't possibly be sure that you'll get back together... unless you go through this cycle often. You will "think a little about her next time." Sounds like you need to think **a lot** more about her next time. And stop playing myspace games, really, that's extremely immature for you to take pics down to get a reaction out of her, and then when she reacts assume that means she wants you back!

[Need_to_know]

I didn't take down the pics to get a reaction, I was actually on the phone with a friend of mine and he said it helps the healing process to delete everything that has to do with her. It was so so so so painful to look at those pictures and ht the delete button.

 

I have good faith we will get back together because, yes, we have been through this before, once actually and I was the one that broke it off. For the same reason she broke up with me now. I really do believe we will get back together. I'm sure she made a desperate decision.

 

I want to be there for her. She just started school again and I was just having trouble getting used to her situation. That's all.

[Stereohead]

From the sounds of your replies, this is one of those rare occasions where the guy is more clingy then the girl (no offense sweetie). Taking responsibility is a good thing, but don’t push her away next time. That’s not fair to her. Your best solution would be to distract yourself with another hobby (while your dating her, or when your not). Talk it out with her…but be more of a guy in the since, you don’t break up with her cause a couple days out of the weeks she’s too busy. But yeah, it’s obvious you care about her. But try and respect her space and feelings next time. –Don’t just stick her in a position where she has to choose her life (studies) and you…You should be apart of that life, if you love her, and just distract yourself on the days of the week she can’t spend time with you.

 

I understand the myspace thing totally-for healing reasons. I mean, people on ENotAlone have even suggested it to people. But anyways, just spend some time talking and figure out what you two are going to do. –Try to keep the pressure down to a minimal lol.

 

Offer a friendship even, but tell her you love her still…you also have your own insecurities to work out. (Trust me…when Robert...my friend…told me that, I felt a lot more respect for him cause he admitted he had some issues. Lol)

 

Anyways, good luck.