villie Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Would you still continue to date someone who you felt was a bad kisser? if you wern't sure that you liked them enough (they liked you a hell of a lot, maybe too much to soon), would that sway you if they were? Ive started seeing a guy, and im finding things too creepy, he is too full on. i really dont like kissing him. ive kissed other guys and it was really nice and enjoyable, but not with him. i can't get into it. He does something really odd with his tongue, always trying to put it in my mouth, like right in. teeth knock a bit. i dont really like his teeth either. im kind of grossed out about it when i think about it... ....so that's really not good hey?
SapphireNoir10 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Yep people can learn. You can steer kissing. Just tell him, what you like.
Sn0man Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Depends. If you're really into the person, you'll take the time to teach them how to kiss "YOU" properly. If you're not really that into them, then it's just not worth the effort. And yeah, a bad kisser is a turn off.
Radίaηce Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 no such thing as a bad kisser...it's all about preference. Be specific. Less wet? More soft? A little biting? Try mimicking...show them how you like to be kissed.
villie Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 okay thanks.. well, thats the thing im not sure if im really into him. he's pushing me away coz he seems to be sooooo clingy. i need space. its odd. it will be a kiss on lips and then boom, he has his tongue out, trying to get it in my mouth and then just plays wth my tongue. hell, as im typing this im getting grossed out. i keep trying to avoid it, as we lay there, i pretend im asleep with my eyes shut... i can tell he tries to start kissing... i can only keep that up for so long! lol
SapphireNoir10 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Tell him you need space. You need communication. Im sure he'd understand.
Sn0man Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 okay thanks.. well, thats the thing im not sure if im really into him. he's pushing me away coz he seems to be sooooo clingy. i need space. its odd. it will be a kiss on lips and then boom, he has his tongue out, trying to get it in my mouth and then just plays wth my tongue. hell, as im typing this im getting grossed out. i keep trying to avoid it, as we lay there, i pretend im asleep with my eyes shut... i can tell he tries to start kissing... i can only keep that up for so long! lol Then why are you wasting your time?
Radίaηce Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 sounds like you are not into him. When you are, you don't care WHAT they do to you...lol.
villie Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 Tell him you need space. You need communication. Im sure he'd understand. we spoke yesterday and i said that i thought htings were moving too fast, and it jsut went int he wrong direction, he kept asking question after question and wouldnt let me speak, and kept saying how much he likes me and doens't to loose me and he thought i was breaking up with him - he was getting teary. 2 weeks. i think soon as we had that first kiss he thoughti was his girlfriend. from previous experience that is not how things work.
villie Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 Then why are you wasting your time? thats a very good point. its turned into something i didn't want. one minute it'll be fine and ok, and the next im like whoa back off. im in over my head. he moves fast.
SapphireNoir10 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Is he moving fast because he genuinley cares? Or do you think its scary attaching?
Crazyaboutdogs Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 I really don't think the kissing is the issue...the issue is that this guy is really creepy. He has the hallmarks of insecure control freak/manipulator and perhaps your discomfort with his actions and all the screaming red flags are the root cause of you being turned off by his kisses. I would get far away from this guy, not because of his kissing, but because of what you said about him in your previous thread.
Batya33 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 I completely agree. And keep resisting the urge to be passive "he is moving too fast" "he wants ____" - part of you likes the attention and likes being part of a couple so it's easy to blame it on the other person. He might be controlling but it's equally true that you can be too passive.
villie Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 Is he moving fast because he genuinley cares? Or do you think its scary attaching? well, he seems to care a LOT already. Said he's so glad he met me, that he doesn't want to loose me. i dotn feel THAT strongly about him.
Crazyaboutdogs Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 well, he seems to care a LOT already. Said he's so glad he met me, that he doesn't want to loose me. i dotn feel THAT strongly about him. A lot of people who get involved with control/freaks abusers also made the mistake of assuming that the kind of behaviour this guy is exhibiting means that he cares a lot. Not at all. Countless men and women have been lulled into a false sense of security because this over the top neediness appeals to their mushy side where they say "wow, he/she really cares..I am so lucky to have someone who cares this much". Problem is over time it gets stifling and the actions are not based on caring, they are based on the need to control.
villie Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 A lot of people who get involved with control/freaks abusers also made the mistake of assuming that the kind of behaviour this guy is exhibiting means that he cares a lot. Not at all. Countless men and women have been lulled into a false sense of security because this over the top neediness appeals to their mushy side where they say "wow, he/she really cares..I am so lucky to have someone who cares this much". Problem is over time it gets stifling and the actions are not based on caring, they are based on the need to control. oh wow. i didn't realise that. Im finding it too much. How can you like me THAT much already.... he said that the time we've known each other doesn't matter its the quality of time. we hanged out at the beach, just sitting on a bench talkign and later that night i got a text saying tonight really means a lot to me. he even said that he can get girls, girls look at him, chat him up, but he isn't finding the rght sort, doesn't like the trashy girls - has he got tickets on him self? he went and bought tickets to a show and he said that there was a girl in the queue waiting as well, and they were talking about it and she said she's going with a few mates and he said 'im going with my girlfriend'. He said that the girl in the queue was chatting him up but he didn't go with it coz 'he was with me'.... that odd ???? is that really 'chatting him up'. not just being friendly? i got in way to deep the other night, and he ended up saying somehting like that 'no other girl is gonna get it' - - - about his penis. we have not had sex. the kissed GROSSES me out. thats not good huh? could you continue to do it if you were grossed out by it? maybe their not a bad kisser you just a grossed out by it! lol
Purusha Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 I'd def say that being grossed out by someone is not the way to start a new relationship!!!! lol Seriously. It sounds like this guy's moving way too fast for you - if he can't respect your need to slow down then that should tell you something, he needs to respect your feelings. It's true that quality time with someone is important but it in no way makes up for the length of time you're with someone for. Fact is, you can learn all sorts about someone over a short period of time, but the proof of the pudding in terms of how you feel and how you perceive someone is an evolutionary thing that takes time and experience and if it's really worth it he'll slow down and chill out! I'm not sure if it's right or wrong, but I've always thought that if the basic chemistry isnt there in a kiss it's not too promising for anything else. I tried to teach someone how I liked to kiss previously but it didnt quite work out (covered in drool.. eeew!) but I'm sure that others have had experiences to the contrary! I guess it depends on the kind of person you're with and how comfortable you are with them.
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