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Everyone looks like my ex,haha


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Since breaking up, I've noticed that almost every time I'm out doing something I see someone that I think is my ex. It only has actually been her once (that I know of), but it's bothered me several times. Like today I was riding my bike home from work, and there was a cafe that opened a little bit ago and it's open late. Before we broke up I remember her talking about wanting to go check it out. As I rode past I looked in the window and saw a guy that looked like one of her friends, and another guy (who could have been her new bf- I've never met him) and two other people (who could have been her and another girl), but I was far away and couldn't tell.

Now, either way this shouldn't matter, it shouldn't bother me, but it does. Going to a cafe like that is something I would have loved to do with her, and it's hard for me to think of her out having fun while I'm still healing. But now I'm not sure if I even want to go to that place ever, I might run into her, and I question if it's somewhere I would even want to go, or if I'm just hoping to run into her. Also, she lives a few blocks away from me, and my window is right where she would walk past if she was walking downtown, and sometimes I look out my window and see girls that look like her, and I see which way they walk to see if they would go to where she lives. It's embarrassing to admit this stuff, but whatever. This is the worst of what I do, and I am improving. I don't think about her as much, and I'm actually enjoying my life 90% of the time. It's just been the longest amount of time I've gone with NC or trying to contact her, so I think I'm freaking out a bit.

For the most part I'm happy, healthy and enjoying myself, more than I have in a long time. I'm still upset that she broke up with me, and may be having more fun with other people than she did with me. I always wanted to go do stuff with her, but she wanted to stay in a lot. But I could see her now out doing more stuff, stuff that I would have loved to do in the relationship that she didn't want to do with me anymore. That's what you do when you are in a new relationship, go out and have fun and get to know the person. I don't know, I was just wondering if this kind of stuff happens to others. Part of me wanted to go into the cafe and see if it was her, but then what would I do? I would just be making a fool out of myself, something I don't enjoy doing. But yeah, I guess it would just be good for me to imagine that she is out having a good time, then if I see her out having fun I'll be more prepared for it. Anyway, I just had to share, I already feel a little better letting it out. It's just tough healing, but I know I'm getting better and I'm glad I'm allowing myself to feel everything I'm feeling now so I will be fully over this eventually. This week I've felt the best I've felt since breaking up, and I think with more time, I'll be better than ever.

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Time is the best medicine. Hey! We all have a little stalker side to us...all others who say not--- are liars...lol. Seems like you're doing pretty well, i say keep up the good work and walk with your head high. Doing stuff you would love to do with her seems like you were into her and wanted to continue being in a relationship with her. Appearantly that is not what she saw, thereforee ended the relationship. Sometimes the connection is just not stong enough. I would be thankful that she didn't continue seeing you just out of comfort as you were willing to invest. That's just selfish. So as you see her doing "stuff" like you would do in a new relationshing/the beginning....well just think of yourself being with the right person. That stuff shouldn't end even after the beginning. It all has to do with being with the right person. It's a two way street. Keep your head up.

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Thanks. Yeah, overall I'm doing well. Stuff like this is just going to happen. I just feel stupid when it does. It could be worse though. But yeah, I didn't want it to end, and it was a 3 year relationship and my first one. So I know it will take some time to heal, it's just hard knowing she's out with her new bf doing whatever you do three months into a relationship (sigh, haha), while I'm at home trying to pick up the pieces of my life. But I'm feeling more like myself than I have in a long time, and I'm liking what I'm doing more than I have in a long time. Every once in awhile it just gets hard again. I'm just letting everything run its course, dealing with however I feel, and moving on. Thanks for the reply.

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It seems like you're doing great, big sigh. It isn't weird at all that when you see her you wonder where she's off to and try to figure it out. Slightly stalkerish, but we're all guilty of some kind of stalkerish crime, it's natural to be curious. Keep it up though. When enough time goes by, when you see her walk past your window you won't even care because you'll be getting ready to go out with someone new.

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When enough time goes by, when you see her walk past your window you won't even care because you'll be getting ready to go out with someone new.

 

I like the way you think! I'll keep that in mind, haha. Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it.

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