Jump to content

has anyone got dumped and then never saw him/her again?


Recommended Posts

Or never spoken to again? Doesn't it feel weird?

He broke up and then soon after that wanted to meet to just talk and be friends. We never ended up meeting up because he couldn't keep any arrangement.

I now hear he's seeing someone and it's been 3 weeks of NC from his side, that I've been maintaining.

 

So will he never call me again? Obviously as a dumpee I will not initiate contact - especially now that he is dating various girls...

 

It just feels weird to never talk to him again

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hey i know how you feel. my ex and i broke up in october. we agreed to be friends but she soon started seeing someone else. i took this quite bad as you can see from my threads. i started nc and haven't heard from her in nearly 2 and a half weeks. she was my best friend and soulmate. it scares me to think i'll never speak to her again. but i can't right now. i'm still very much in love with her.

 

i believe we will hear from our previous other halfs at some stage. just not sure when.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i broke up with my SO last night, and i hope to never see him again. i know the break up isn't mutual and he will want me back, and if i see him and talk to him, i will cave. i have to stay NC until he is just a distant memory, for my own sake.

it doesn't feel weird right now, the timing was right, and i don't feel bad about never talking it through.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

I would say it's likely that at SOME point you will hear from him, down the line. This is a common thread among a lot of breakups -- that at some point the "dumper" gets back into contact. It could be weeks, months, years from now, and it may be to reconcile, to simply "check in" to see if you're still there should he decide he wants you back, to apologize for his actions, or simply to say hi or seek a friendship.

 

Certainly, there are cases wherein the dumper never makes contact again, but a lot of the stories on this site indicate that dumpers often do re-appear at some point.

 

That said, it's good that you're maintaining NC, particularly as he is dating others. It's painful, but you should continue to resist the urge to contact him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Split for good 5 months ago, and haven't said a word to each other. I honestly never want to see or talk to him again. It's best this way.

 

I don't think this is uncommon. For one reason or the other....some ppl just cant handle any sort of friendship when so many feelings have been hurt. It's too painful.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wish when people split up, esp when the split wasn't particularly horrible, that people DID keep in touch.

 

It's amazing how some people are so cruel as to hurt someone and never speak to them again, esp when, at one point in time, this person that you dropped kicked, was very dear to you and such.

 

I hate it when people drop, run, AND disappear. No wonder so many people are bitter against the dumpers

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wish when people split up, esp when the split wasn't particularly horrible, that people DID keep in touch.

 

It's amazing how some people are so cruel as to hurt someone and never speak to them again, esp when, at one point in time, this person that you dropped kicked, was very dear to you and such.

 

I hate it when people drop, run, AND disappear. No wonder so many people are bitter against the dumpers

 

Yeah, that's exactly what it feels like -- being drop-kicked. In the gut, no less.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've never really thought about it like that, but it's never happened. I've always spoken or seen all exes after the breakup...just due to circumstances. But I can imagine it happening if we had no friends in common and had no reasons to visit the same places.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Haven't spoken to my ex in over 6 months since we split up last year. Does feel strange that someone that I was close to for over 4 years, a friend to before that and a colleague before that I will never see or speak to again. This is not out of any hostility or bad breakup, it's just out of circumstance. The relationship came to an end and that's that, no hatred toward each other (not from me anyway) where can we go after that other than live our lives separately.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I dumped my ex-ex boyfriend because he was verbally and physically abusive. I have no desire to ever see him or hear from him again. Every once in a while, he will email me to "see how I'm doing" (as IF he cares). I finally implemented the "crazy ex" filter that someone else posted about on this site, so I never have to see his emails again.

 

I broke up with my most recent ex a couple of times, but stayed in touch with him because I missed him so much. The first time, I broke up with him because he was doing cocaine. The second time, it was because I found out he lied to me about his ex-gf.

 

Both times I broke up with him, he texted me after a while, saying he missed me, wanted to try again, etc. I got back together with him a third time-this time he broke up with me, because I trusted him about a spoonful's worth, and I was feeling really insecure about this guy he hooked up with-YES, it was a guy.

 

And now he's gone NC with me. I don't know if it's for good or not. I know we are not good for each other, but I felt a very strong connection with him that I've never had before, so this has been really difficult.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When me and my ex broke up, that was one of the sad aspects: thinking we would never speak to each other again.

 

But as time went by, I thought more and more about the relationship and realized how much she disrespected me and repressed me.

 

I still think about her but have no intentions of contacting her. The main reason is because I knew she wouldn't have anything to say.

 

It sucks to lose contact with someone you shared things with but that's the only way to get your life moving again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You can't heal and stay in touch. It doesn't work that way. I've only stayed in touch with one ex my entire life and even with him, I like to keep the contact minimal. You are much better off leaving the past completely in the past and moving on with your life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So we are all going through the same...

 

I have moments where I really don't wish to talk to him EVER - just to "punish" him for mistreating me, sort of like: there, you lost me even as a friend!

 

But then again he's been a huge part of my life and now it's like tossing all this time of my life into the garbage...

 

Then again: he broke it off and can still benefit from having me in his life (even when i'm over him - which I am close to). I don't care about some small talk every now and then!

 

And again: Once my love completely dies I will not need that hurtful pride any more...

 

Aaaaaah confusing!!!

 

I'm sure he'll make contact one day... question is will I feel like answering.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

when me and my ex broke up, i honestly thought we'd never see or speak to eachother again, unless we ran into eachother on the street. i was so hurt, and he knew how hurt i was, so i just figured we'd probably never speak again as it was akward because of the hurt feelings... no contact for 6 months, then he emailed me out of the blue to see how i was and catch up. Who knows what he wanted, could've been just to see how I was, or could've been any number of reasons. But I thought we'd never speak again, and we did. We won't ever again now I don't think as I blew up at him from pent up anger over the last 6 months though.. but ya, I think at some point they do have some sort of contact. I guess it's hard on both parts to think of never speaking to the other person again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I looked up an ex once after ten years to make peace. I knew he thought I never wanted to speak to him again. I thought he'd still be mad at me but he wasn't. We had three or four conversations and then let it go for good. If I ever hear from him in the future I will be overwhelmingly shocked although I realize that nothing is impossible.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Misskitty - shoot that was brutal what he did to you! So last time you saw him things were fine and then you never see him again!

 

My ex wanted to be friends and hang out but I guess now that he has another girl(s) he doesn't need friendship with an ex...

Sorry to think he was still keeping close friendship with his exs when he was with me...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A few years ago a guy broke up with me and I never heard from him or saw him again. It hurt, but it was just the way he dealt with it and was kind-of good in a way! I saw him at a concert randomly just recently and it was very weird... since when we broke up we didn't see each other ever again for years.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just find it how cold and cruel that someone could just be the best of friend and confidante and lover one day, break up the next and never speak to you again. I don't know how people can be like that. I've never really had that happen to me, but I've seen it happen, esp reading it on ENA, and I feel sorry for those people, esp the dumpee. The dumper, on the other hand, I would consider someone to be cold and cruel.

 

To me, best case scenario is that the dumper and dumpee could reacquaint themselves, maybe months or years down the line when everything has cooled off, and maybe have a friendship.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, I have, kind of.

 

I asked someone to stay out of my life and to never speak with me again. In time though, we did cross paths in public, more than once. We made eye contact and we did recognize each other, but I turned my head and kept walking. Nothing was ever said.

 

When I said those words during the break up talk, I meant them - it wasn't a heat of the moment thing. There was far too much hurt. I've since forgiven her a long time ago, and I wish her the best, but I have moved on and have 0 interest in her or her life.

 

I've only done this with one person. I'm friendly with other girls I've dated when I see them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, I have, kind of.

 

I asked someone to stay out of my life and to never speak with me again. In time though, we did cross paths in public, more than once. We made eye contact and we did recognize each other, but I turned my head and kept walking. Nothing was ever said.

 

When I said those words during the break up talk, I meant them - it wasn't a heat of the moment thing. I've since forgiven her a long time ago, and I wish her the best, but I have moved on and have 0 interest in her or her life.

 

Why did you break up with her? Did she do anything to truly harm/hurt you? Or were you just tired of her and wanted to move on?

 

If she hurt you terribly, I can understand why you might never want to speak to her again. If not, I would consider you to be someone cold and VERY uncompassionate.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

..

I thought this for awhile, but then I thought...if I was his new gf, I wouldn't want him contacting me. I think when there is a new partner involved they are just being respectful to that new partner. It hurts like hell, but at the same time I understand it.

 

But, it is NOT wrong to be friends with an ex. A lot of times you see people posting on here about how their SO is friends with the ex, and how the new SO feels threatened by that, etc. Hasn't it been the advice of most people on here that it is NOT wrong to be friends with an ex, and for the new SO to accept it and deal with it?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First all the feelings need to go away.

 

I'll probably never see my previous ex (we now live in different cities and don't have our new phone numbers) although I would love to talk or just hang just like friends and I would welcome his new girl as a friend with all my heart - at the same time I totally don't care that it won't happen.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...