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Please Help Me


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My ex boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me this past thanksgiving and we hadn't spoken since then. It was very painful for me and from what my friends told me, for him as well. He sent me an email right before the semester started and stated that he wants to try to be friends and at least not freak out when we see each other and wants me to stop isolating myself because my friends miss me. (since we share the same sci fi friends). So I responded immediately because I figured it would be best to get things out of the way and not keep thinking about the email and if I should respond. Well, in my response I pretty much said that I wasn't ready to attempt to be friends with him yet because I still hadn't healed.

 

So I joined facebook again so I could make contact with my friends recently and I noticed a note he wrote on it and in the note he said, "Sometimes I don't realize how I feel about someone until after the fact. I still think about my ex a lot". So i've been agonizing ever since and have been wondering if there's still a chance between us. I feel as if my healing has gone completely down the drain because I now have false hope.

 

What should I do?

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Beaker, it's difficult to say because there is no way to know exactly how he feels from that sentence (except that he is thinking about you and looks like he still has feelings for you) unless you ask him whether he is willing to give it another shot.

 

It is totally understandable that this would give you hope, but I think until you actually communicate with him about what this means you won't know. But I think you should be prepared for if he says "Yes I do think about you and still have feelings for you but I don't want to be in a relationship."

 

Take me for example, I still love my ex, and think about him everyday but I know we could never, ever be together again.

 

It is difficult and I am sorry that you are going through what seems like a rollercoaster.

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Hi Beaker

 

Fakebook and Myspit cause all sorts of problems - silly messages that you go and look at can give you all sorts of reasons to read anything into them.

 

I think you would be well advised to keep well away from those sites for the time being - you don't need any new "news"!

 

Keep working on you!

 

Mark

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Hey Beaker - question for you...what happened to the guy you met in December that you were trying to work things out with? Is that still going on? Whatever the case, I think you need some time to really heal. You jumped from one relationship to the next and haven't given yourself time to recover. If you're going to have a healthy relationship, ideally, you should be okay with yourself single before getting into your next relationship. I know it's tough, but you're bound to have more internal conflict later if you don't resolve this first.

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Thanks Shygirl and Clabs.

 

Shygirl

 

This is exactly what he posted:

"Maybe this has a lot to do with #4, but I don’t seem to have emotions like other people do. I’m not that comfortable with platonic hugs and kisses, but I’m a lot better than I was when I first came here. This social awkwardness is probably why I identified with the Sci-Fi club, even though I don’t like anime or comics that much. It also seems as though others are quicker to know if they love someone than I am. Sometimes I don't understand how I feel about someone until after the fact. I still think about my ex a lot.

 

This has confused me to the point where last night I even had a dream about him. I miss him so much and can't really avoid him completely since we share the same friends which means he's usually in the conversation. Some of our mutual friends even act strangely around me.

 

Hi Mark:

I had deactivated my facebook account for the entire winter break and just reactivated it because I missed my friends. This is my major way of communicating with them. But this has also led me to look at old pictures and videos which he left up for some reason.

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Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch T...
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