Ex dumped me a month ago but trying to be friends

[jerk chicken]

My ex dumped me for religious/his own issues sake,

I am finding it hard cos i cant hate him for anything since he treated me well/didnt cheat/lie/use me etc etc,

he keeps trying to make small tlk on msn and has called about twise, but deffo doesnt want to get back together, niether do I, but I still am hurting.

 

How do I go about announcing that i want to go NC?? and is it bad if u want to speak to them as friends one day in the future when u started the NC???

[shygirl1212]

My ex dumped me for religious/his own issues sake,

I am finding it hard cos i cant hate him for anything since he treated me well/didnt cheat/lie/use me etc etc,

he keeps trying to make small tlk on msn and has called about twise, but deffo doesnt want to get back together, niether do I, but I still am hurting.

 

How do I go about announcing that i want to go NC?? and is it bad if u want to speak to them as friends one day in the future when u started the NC???

 

Since you are still hurting and if you have decided to go NC, you could tell him that you've decided on NC because it will help you (and him) heal in the long run but that maybe in the future, perhaps the two of you can be friends. But I would focus on right now, and your healing because that is the MOST important thing...

 

Of course, you will have to take the initiative to put NC into place (i.e. blocking msn). It's not easy, I'm still struggling with it, but you can definitely do it and everyone on enotalone is right, it really is for the best.

[Simply Brett]

If by NC you mean no contact, I would just tell it like it is.

 

Say: "Listen, I understand and respect your feeling and beliefs, as well I know you respect mine. I'd just like to tell you that speaking with you presently has been rather difficult on me since I'm just coming to terms with the fact that we won't be together. In the future if by any chance we happen to cross paths again, I'd like it to be a friendly interaction I'm sure you understand, take care I will too."

 

Something along those lines is what I suggest.

[renaissancewoman101]

How long do you want to do NC before maybe trying out a friendship.

 

Maybe you could tell the ex, "hey, I need some time away from this to get over you and such, maybe in x amount of time, we can meet up for coffee and see how things are". That way you have time to get over the ex and a tentative date somewhere not too far in the future to work on a friendship.

[jerk chicken]

thanks for the replies, will def use the advice.

I just want to do it until I am over him and dont get reminded of stuff everytime he talks,

although I am scared even if i leave it for 6/10months when I talk to him again it will come flooding back and I will regress,??

[renaissancewoman101]

thanks for the replies, will def use the advice.

I just want to do it until I am over him and dont get reminded of stuff everytime he talks,

although I am scared even if i leave it for 6/10months when I talk to him again it will come flooding back and I will regress,??

 

The first few months are the hardest, then it does get better. Make sure while you're healing from him, to also go out and do things, meet people, etc. Will make it better.

 

If you make your life full and fulfilling, when you do meet up with him again, it won't be so overwhelming and maybe you can look at him as a friend.

[shygirl1212]

The first few months are the hardest, then it does get better. Make sure while you're healing from him, to also go out and do things, meet people, etc. Will make it better.

 

If you make your life full and fulfilling, when you do meet up with him again, it won't be so overwhelming and maybe you can look at him as a friend.

 

Mine was actually the opposite - the first few months were "easy" in that I was in denial about the breakup and so NC didn't really mean much at the time. Once I got out of denial and realized "Yup the relationship is over" is when everything hit me like a ton of bricks and NC was REALLY hard and still is.