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Strange Feeling


nofalsehope

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Girlfriend of almost three years broke up with me 12 days ago. Do not need to go into the details right now. Last night I was out catching some air outside of my apartment and found myself feeling rather strange. I looked at my apartment, my yard, the stuff in my apartment and I recognized it as mine, but nothing registered. It finally made a lot of sense in terms of how things have felt, especially this week. My schedule is largely the same, work, friends, etc. But as I go through my day I have trouble believing that this is my life. While everything is the same as two weeks ago, none of it feels the same. Of course I realize this is pretty rationale, it isn't the same without her. But I was confused and sad last night, because as I went to bed I realized my life now feels like a bad dream and when I go to sleep I dream of what my life was only to wake up back in my new reality.

 

I am doing all those things we tell each other to do (eat, sleep, go to the gym, go out with friends, laugh, smile), but it all feels empty and false. Just an especially cruel form of torture that I will be glad to move beyond.

 

Anyone else feeling similar or having a rough week?

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It's still new, and you haven't had time to adjust, and it's still hurting like hell.

It gets better with time and understanding. You have to realise that although it might not be the way you want it to, that this is your life now and you have to appreciate what you do have. Get on with things, and be happy as much as you can.

It will get easier of course, soon you will be laughing, smiling, hanging out with your friends and it will be genuine.

You have to work through this, and see the good side of life.

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Go out with your friends, have some beers, dance and just have a good time. If your approached by anyone just tell em' your recovering from a relationship, they'll understand and probably still want to dance! Just have fun and in time things will get better. I feel your loss, I am very empathetic that way, I hope that's the right words.

 

My lover works 8 hours a day while I work here at the house basically all day. I wash dishes and vacuum, all that sort of stuff. I make her lunch every day, she lives close enough to her job that she gets to come home and eat lunch for 15 minuets. But the rest of that time I feel so hollow it makes me sick. I need her so bad it hurts me, I really don't have too many friends anymore, not talking to anyone for a few years does that...

 

I just kind of black out while she's gone, I'm going though the motions but my mind is somewhere else.

 

I am sorry your forced to think about your old life during sleep, generally sleep is my only refuge and I cannot imagine losing my dreams in that manner.

 

I practice Lucid Dreaming, which is the process of "becoming aware" that your dreaming while your dreaming... lol. It sounds crazy but it can totally be done and its pretty easy, while your awake, through out your day ask yourself if your dreaming, if your alone by yourself ask out loud, if its an appropriate time to remain silent, ask yourself in your head. After a few days of this you'll notice yourself asking that same question during sleep, you'll investigate and find out that you are!

 

Dreams can be very powerful and are the BEST vacation you can take and you get a ticket every NIGHT to anywhere in the UNIVERSE and even places that are outside of that! Once you become aware your dreaming anything is possible because it is a dream. Flight, teleportation, manipulation of physical reality, anything you can possibly imagine is completely possible.

 

When you first realize your dreaming you may feel your body and wake up, so if you are frequently in pain like me that can be a problem if your aspirin is wearing off. After time you will notice your dreaming early and early in your dreams, you'll notice near your waking point at first. With frequent lucid dreams night after night you will just know your dreaming while your dreaming and you can just do whatever every night.

 

If your having a bad day, just go to bed early, a good nights rest will come easy when your dreams seem to last forever. They are outside of time and reality and no human bounds are placed upon them other than your own, they are a place where true freedom can be experienced and this every day trivial life can fade into memory.

 

With lucid dreaming you will move on in your life much more effortlessly, as it is only a short interlude between your nightly infinite freedom.

 

The pain will still be there, but you'll have more time to work things out.

 

I wish you the best and hope you can get back to appreciating life soon!

 

Good luck and if you or anyone else have any questions about lucid dreams you can feel free to PM me.

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Anyone else feeling similar or having a rough week?

 

What you are feeling is totally normal and exactly the way I felt for the first two months after my 2.5 year relationship ended. NC was what helped me (and going to the gym everyday, it helps with the endorphins and being present in the moment). It's now been four months (2 NC) and I can safely say that, although I am still hurting, I do not feel like this anymore.

 

It's hard to hear and you may not be able to accept this right now, but it will get better and you will learn to trust yourself and the way you look at the world again eventually. It will all feel empty and false for awhile, but gradually it won't. Just act "as if" and give yourself time and private space to grieve.

 

For now, just take care of yourself. All you have to do is get from one day to the next. Don't worry about the future. It will take care of itself with time.

 

I'm deeply sorry for your loss and I'm rooting for you and your healing.

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I'm going through a recent break-up after 3.5 years. Reality seems like a dream right now. Things were mutual (I think) but I am still feeling a huge void. The 3.5 years with him felt like reality...but now that it's over, I don't even know. I am trying to make my new life real. It is definitley not easy AT ALL. How do you go about making things all about you when it was all about you and the other for so long? Everything has a mark of him and I on it. I am trying to make my own mark on things. It's only been a week...but I am really trying to do this

 

The best medicine is to be good to yourself. Eventually everything will start to make sense and become real again.

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I agree and hear what you all are saying. I know it is completely normal and it would be weird to not feel this way. It was just a reflection I had and felt like sharing because I had never felt this way before in previous break-ups. Then again I never moved to a different state to be with someone before. Take care of yourselves.

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What you wrote... hits home. I have been doing the same thing for several months now. I do all the same things, talk to the same people, visit the same places... but it is just different. Then I look over and realize he isn't there with me. The plans we made, the things we bought together... but no him.

It is as though we are grieving a death. In a way, it is. The only way I get through it is with the knowledge that SOME day, it will be ok...

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