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So does he like *me*, or is he lonely and likes spending time with me???


jen83

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I've posted quite a bit about this guy I'm seeing who I met on an online dating site before Christmas---I really like him. We always have so much fun together--our personalities just mix well--we can have a conversation about nothing at all and talk for *hours*. I really want to think this is going somewhere.

 

We had our 4th date yesterday. We met up at the mall around 6:45pm--got coffee at a Starbucks there(he paid), walked around, having a really good time, until the mall closed at 9:30 pm, returned to Starbucks and got *more* coffee(he paid again, despite my protest). Stayed at Starbucks in the mall and talked until 10pm until they closed and walked over to the mall movie theater and sat in the lobby on a bench talking some more until 11:20pm when we decided it was time to go, so he walks me to my car--where he ends up sitting in it with me until nearly 1am---again, just talking and joking around like weirdos! So we spent 6 hours together! That sounds ok, right?

 

Now to my concerns...while I *know* he likes spending time with me--he keeps asking me out and always pays, spends godawful amounts of time with me on these dates, texts me and talks to me online every single day--he's yet to kiss me, or even really touch me at all. He's played with my hand, but never held it, or really done anything to straightforwardly indicate that he's interested romantically. I'm starting to wonder if maybe he doesn't just see me as friend material--like he enjoys my company, thinks I'm funny and playful, but doesn't want anything more. Like maybe he's lonely?

 

On a side note, we've been sharing a lot of music and we decided we were going to trade ipods for awhile so we could hear the others music. I ended up forgetting mine, but he still gave me his to borrow. But as he's leaving, he says(laughing) "don't look at the pictures, there's some of my ex in there". Naturally, when I get home, I looked(come on, you would too). And she's very attractive(in my opinion, moreso than me). Plus, they have a sort of messy background, which makes me wonder if he's really ready to get into something with me? He and his ex have only been broken up 6 months, after dating for a year. She dumped him at that time when she "went back to her husband"(I know, drama there), essentially kicking him out of the house they lived in together--with her 7 year old son--most of which was furnished with things he bought(which she took, and he put up no fight to get back). They had worked together, at which point she(being his boss) tried to get him fired and created a lot more drama---which cost her her job and *she* got fired 3 weeks ago.

 

The background thing sounds messy...what do you think? Is he "taking it slow", possibly nervous, but really does like me? Or he likes spending time with me, likes me alot, but isn't over that giant emotional mess?

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I'm sorry, but one thing came to my mind:

 

He's just not that into you.

 

It's ironic that that movie comes out today.

 

I think if he was really into you, and likes you "likes you" I don't think he'll wait any longer than the second date to kiss you. And the fact that he brought up pictures of his ex, man...clear sign that he doesn't like you that way.

 

What I would do though is communicate to him - tell him that you like hanging out with him and you enjoy his company, and just ask him what his views are on relationships, is he just looking for something casual or just someone to hang out with.

 

It's better to get it out there.

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I'm sorry, but one thing came to my mind:

 

He's just not that into you.

 

It's ironic that that movie comes out today.

 

I think if he was really into you, and likes you "likes you" I don't think he'll wait any longer than the second date to kiss you. And the fact that he brought up pictures of his ex, man...clear sign that he doesn't like you that way.

 

What I would do though is communicate to him - tell him that you like hanging out with him and you enjoy his company, and just ask him what his views are on relationships, is he just looking for something casual or just someone to hang out with.

 

It's better to get it out there.

 

Good advice.

 

I feel the same. I have learnt through my experience that Physical Contact is the primary indication of interest when it comes to romantic relationships. There may be so many other signs BUT if the physical contact is not there then sadly it may be nothing more than a good friendship. If that is not what you want then you have every right to walk away.

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