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I'm not doing well today.


cemlaw

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I haven't heard from the ex since our date on Wednesday. I thought I would hear from him today. Nothing.

I just can't do this. I am positive of only that. He obviously hasn't been thinking about reconciliation through our recent dates and contact, or I think I would have heard from him.

 

My assumption, and yes, I know those are dangerous, is that maybe he is pulling back so as to not give me any incorrect ideas. Naturally I could be wrong, but that is where my head is today. I know it has been a very short amount of time (about 2 weeks) that we have been spending time together and communicating regularly again, but I think it is enough to get some indication of how he is feeling- and the indication is he isn't into it.

 

The crazy side of me wants to call him or email him and just ask what is going on, but I won't. There's no point and it would take me from giving the appearance of calm and happy back to sad and desperate and I don't want him thinking that of me.

 

So here I am. And I am sad today.

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I m on same boat as u! we havent met since last 2 weeks, and the few conversation tht we had over phone didn't help me either. I shouldn't hav initiated the calls!!! Her emotionless voice pushed me into a deeper mess...

Do whatever, but dont initiate any contact.

I am on NC again. Determined and relaxed so far... all the best

 

Btw who is the dumper?

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I broke up with him, but since it was because he was cheating, I feel like the dumpee.

 

I thought I was more healed than this. I was wrong. It was too soon for us to resume contact. I have to go back into hiding and focus on ME ME ME!

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because that wasn't who he was for most of the 3 years we were together. He did a horrible thing, but there is too much good history for me to not see if there is anything left to salvage of the relationship. Obviously problems came along or he wouldn't have cheated, but instead of ignoring that, I decided to be open to seeing if we could work through what happened one day.

 

Why is it folks around here want you to justify your reasons for being open to reconciliation instead of running on hate for the rest of your life??? That baffles me. I'm tired of being put on the defensive about this. Both here and in the real world.

 

While I am obviously here seeking advice, is it really necessary to be ugly and condescending to me?

/rant

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Nobody's being condescending - if the guy cheated on you, is that supposed to be a good thing? Does it make you feel happy? Not sure what you want to hear. People are lending their support?

 

Then the guy just goes on, leaving you to go crazy after not hearing from him for a day or two. You obviously care more than he does. Is that the kind of person you want? I mean, I know you said he wasn't like that for most of the time you were together, but are you excusing his cheating by saying some problems came up? I'm not sure what you're getting at...

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"Nobody's being condescending - if the guy cheated on you, is that supposed to be a good thing? Does it make you feel happy? Not sure what you want to hear. People are lending their support?"

 

Are you serious? Do I appear to be happy and think this was a good thing? That's what I mean. I'm living through this. I know how awful it is. You get that part? I'm not asking for advice on how to get over the infidelity as I am not even there yet. I also didn't ask anyone to defend him or his actions. Where have I ever excused his behavior for God's sake?! But to deny that there were problems before the cheating is just being an idiot on my part and being in denial.

You are being nasty. Does that make YOU feel better? Hope so.

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Whoa!!! Calm down! I wasn't attacking you!

 

You said "Obviously problems came along or he wouldn't have cheated", and that sounded to me like there was an excuse for his cheating, which there never is.

 

Gosh...I'm sorry you're going through a rough time, but take it easy! Were you this touchy with your ex?

 

cemlaw, it sounds like this isn't getting you anywhere. I was reading previous posts where you would break NC or send a card and be happy, then get upset when you didn't get a response. This constant rollercoaster of high and low isn't good for you. I hope you find peace and can get past it and find someone who DOES care enough to contact you and want to be around you.

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Ok. Maybe the reason it was fine face-to-face was because somehow, someway you felt like you were back with him, then when you'd part ways the reality of the situation came crashing down? Either way, be good to yourself. I hope you feel better.

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"cemlaw, it sounds like this isn't getting you anywhere. I was reading previous posts where you would break NC or send a card and be happy, then get upset when you didn't get a response. This constant rollercoaster of high and low isn't good for you. I hope you find peace and can get past it and find someone who DOES care enough to contact you and want to be around you."

 

I want to address this because I feel like you really misrepresented me and the posts I have made here, and then I am going to let this go.

The very FEW times I have contacted him, he has always responded, and responded positively. The majority of contact we have had in the last month has come from him. I have responded, which is my fault, but it isn't at all as you said there. I'm not sure why this thread took the turn it did.

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Cemlaw, nobody here expects you to hate him forever. I know you're trying to be the optimist. I just had read over your previous threads and saw that he'd contact you, you'd get worked up and respond, and get upset if you didn't hear from him, and it was bothering you. That's not a good thing.

It just sounded strange to me that he'd contact you and then you'd respond andthen not hear from him. Maybe he IS trying to fall back thinking you're after him again. I don't know.

 

But for what it's worth, I'm sorry if I misinterpreted things. I didn't mean to get you upset.

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Feeling like a failure, mum? This i...
Feeling like a failure, mum? This is what you need to hear

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