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Trust issue. Don't know what to do


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Posted

Ok heres the deal, Im an 18 year old male with OCD + Adhd, who has a low self esteem, and iv always found it pretty hard to trust people.

 

My situation -> Iv been going out with this girl for almost 3 months now, shes 16 almost 17, (I know young but whatever), the point is, like iv noticed she lies over little stuff, like stories change, and since i over analyize i pick up on it all.

Almost as if she was covering up, and only proof i have, is one day she left her facebook open on my computer and i went to get on and i noticed there was a msg, from like a while ago, that was like " Ya truth is i liked someone else but he lived here etc" Then i was like alright whatever past is past, then somehow we got on a topic and (i knew the guy she liked, simply cause im pretty good at pieceing stuf together) and i was like you and this guy seem pretty intense in these pictures what did ya like him or somthing, and she was like "omg noo we were like best friends, i dint like him etc" and im just thinking to myself wow straight up lie right there. and problem is i cant actually call her out on it because then it looks as if i was like snooping which isnt true at all, but since iv started just noticeing stupid stuff.

 

I don't know how to bring it up or if i even should. 2 best friends are like, leave it alone and other is like bring it up and tell her to smarten up.

 

 

I dont know if shes lieing about stuff to keep me happy, shes said before she'd do anything to keep me from getting angry (but said she'd never lie)

however now im questioning that.

Posted

I dont know if shes lieing about stuff to keep me happy, shes said before she'd do anything to keep me from getting angry (but said she'd never lie)

however now im questioning that.

 

She sounds like she might be doing this. The desire to please the one you are with is very strong, so a lot of the time people will cover up their faults with a little lie to avoid offending the other person and pushing them away.

 

However, when you can pick up on those lies it really hurts. This is obviously something that bothers you, so if you want to stay with this girl then I'd definitely bring it up. Tell her that you'd rather her be honest and risk offending you than be lied to. I'd always rather know the truth too. I hate it when people think that they have to try and spare my feelings.

 

And if you don't bring it up, it'll just eat at you till you break up with her.

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