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"I don't love you anymore"...=(


isayamante

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Here's the jist of the story:

I'm 20. He's 21.

We dated for 2.5 years.

Broke up cuz of a fight, yup, THAT type of thing. Dumb I know.

He's my first boyfriend, first anything, and I guess "first love".

 

It's been two months and I've done the No Contact rule for a few weeks now and it's helping me a lot.

 

Before NC, the last thing I heard him say was, "I'm don't wanna hurt you but I don't love you anymore". I hung up immediately and went home to cry to my mom. When we first broke up two months ago he said he still loved me and then a few weeks later he says he doesn't. This was also the day after his dad had a stroke and was still in the hospital at the time he said this to me.

 

I know I shouldn't keep my heart on a string but I always end up questioning why he fell out of love or whether he really meant it. However, people say that once they say that, to believe it. The truth hurts.

 

Maybe I just need to vent, but I'm just so confused. I know that I don't wanna get back together right now, but deep down it's still fresh so I'm still hoping that down the road we'll be alright together.

 

This is my first breakup and I'm kinda lost.

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I remember when I broke up with my "first." It was SO hard. He strung me along for quite awhile, too. For almost a year, I think. I wanted to get back together but I was his "back-up girl." Basically, it's so hard to let go of the first person who meant that much to you. But when people break up, it's always for a reason. The best thing to do is to keep doing NC until you can get over him. Give yourself time because it's going to take time. Try and learn from the mistakes (they'll come to you eventually) and, when you're ready for it, your next relationship will be even better!

 

Hang in there girl! You are doing an awesome job so far!

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I told him I wanted to be there for him cuz of what was happening with his dad and the stroke he had. But he was like, I would have called you and told you about it if I wanted you to be there for me.

And basically it was too confusing for me and I was still so hurt and sad by the break up so I kinda pushed it out of him.

 

I was like, Just tell me, Do you still love me.

And he hesitated a bit, probably cuz he didn't wanna hurt me, and said...I'm sorry...I don't love you...

 

And those were the last words I heard him say.

 

It replays in my head ALL the time...But i know things happen for a reason, I just need to start living my life and focusing on me.

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He said that after a fight? Hmmm..this is only a theory, but I'd be willing to be there's someone else in the picture, and he used the fight as an excuse to break up with you. I can understand someone being angry, but to just say, "I don't love you anymore?" It sounds like he'd been contemplating that for a while.

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Well if it has been weeks of no contact it sounds like it might have been more than heat of the moment, but obviously i'm not in this guys head.

 

Considering how it ended, i think keeping NC is a good thing. Mad or not, he said he didn't love you anymore and after the heat of the fight ended he didn't call to say he was sorry. That can't be discounted here. And if he wanted to call and didn't, then i'd say that is a sign of emotional unavailability if it has been WEEKS and he hasn't broken down to call and apologize. I would not want to entertain just walking back into someone's arms who told me they didnt love me anymore and for several weeks never got in touch...

 

So...i guess my only advice is try to heal and be strong. I don't know what might be in the minds of those who asked was telling you he didn't love you in the heat of the argument or not since it seems irrelevatnt since he has not bothered to call and say otherwise, so all i can say is stay strong and not contact him. The onus is on HIM to call and tell you he did not mean that, and if weeks have lapsed, i wouldn't want to take anymore gambles on him seeing how he has handled anger. I think it is good you don't want to get back together with him.

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Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch T...
Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch This!

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