Hockey.Chick Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Wow, been a long time since I posted here. Anyway, since my last post, I have been in a relationship with a new guy and we have sex regularly...usually once or twice every other day or so. Sometimes every day. Either way, we always use a condom. I'm currently not able to take any birth control medication and we refuse to have unprotected sex. Last week I was ovulating and we had back to back days of sex with a condom every time, and it never broke, never fell off or rolled up, etc. Everything seemed to go according to plan. But my question is, how effective are condoms really? I know I can easily look this up on google and find out the average amount of times condoms usually work, but I'm sick of reading statistics...they don't make me feel any less nervous that the condom isn't going to work. So I'm looking for personal answers...do you have sex with condoms and nothing else? If so, did it work? Or did pregnancy ever occur? Any answers would be much appreciated, thanks. Note: We have both been tested for STDs so we aren't worrying about that..it's just the pregnancy factor that is a little bit scary.
MyNinja Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 2 out of 100 women will become pregnant if a condom is used CORRECTLY EVERYTIME (with caution) 15 out 100 women will become pregnant if a condom is used carelessly EVERYTIME I got these stats from link removed
Notreadyet87 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I got pregnant when I was using condoms. I'm still trying to figure out how that happened, but it did. I can't use birth control--it makes me depressed and I've tried several forms and kinds--always the same end. Since I have a history of depression I was just told to be safe or not have sex at all. After the pregnancy thing among other things--I'm doing the latter
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 You can't use any other form of birth control? How about non-hormonal IUD's or female condoms?
Ac143 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Me & my SO have only been using condoms for 3yrs now - no "accidents"....yet
madmarten Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I think condoms when used correctly are very safe. If you don't have a mechanical or hydraulic failure then it is pretty much impossible for the sperm to get through.
waveseer Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I think condoms when used correctly are very safe. If you don't have a mechanical or hydraulic failure then it is pretty much impossible for the sperm to get through. Nice wording, I wonder what psi they're tested at...
lostandhurt Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I have found that the quality of condoms varies quite a bit. If you buy from known companies and use them and store them properly you should have little chance of failure. Do what we used to do when we were young. Get a condom and put it on the kitchen sink faucet and start filling it with water. I think you will be amased at how big it gets without bursting. Most failure come from using teeth to open the package or sharp fingernails. There are alot of cheapy condoms on the internet which I wouldn't trust for a water balloon fight let alone birth control. lost
_Asti_ Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I relied on the pill solely for almost 5 years. Now we're just using condoms, but then again at this point in our lives and in our relationship, if an accident does happen we would both be pretty excited about it. So we felt confident with me going off the pill. No scares or anything of that nature.
Notreadyet87 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I want to get the IUD but it's painful and I haven't had a child--well I got pregnant but I had an abortion. I'm only 21 and I can't afford the IUD--I'm scared to ask my parents to help--I know they would but it's just weird talking about sexual stuff with them. Really one of things I've done is just avoid sex. I have sex very rarely. And I'm in the process of trying to be celibate in my relationship--I haven't told my bf yet, but we haven't had sex in two months. I think it's starting to frustrate him, but I don't feel safe without BC--the same sh*t that makes me depressed and suicidal. And relying on condoms still got me pregnant two years ago. I may get the IUD this summer. For now I'm just limiting the amount of sex I have.
Rose21 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I hate condoms. I rely on the pill, I take it PERFECTLY, along with pulling out every time.
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I want to get the IUD but it's painful and I haven't had a child--well I got pregnant but I had an abortion. I'm only 21 and I can't afford the IUD--I'm scared to ask my parents to help--I know they would but it's just weird talking about sexual stuff with them. Really one of things I've done is just avoid sex. I have sex very rarely. And I'm in the process of trying to be celibate in my relationship--I haven't told my bf yet, but we haven't had sex in two months. I think it's starting to frustrate him, but I don't feel safe without BC--the same sh*t that makes me depressed and suicidal. And relying on condoms still got me pregnant two years ago. I may get the IUD this summer. For now I'm just limiting the amount of sex I have. This is completely not fair to your bf. You need to tell him why.
Notreadyet87 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 This is completely not fair to your bf. You need to tell him why. I don't want to rehash the abortion episode and make him feel bad about it--were finally moving pass it and telling him the truth would mess things up. He may feel offended that I still don't want a child by him right now(in the future I would like to). I know it isn't fair to him, but I keep having pregnancy nightmares which is why I just stopped having sex. I'm actually glad I'm on my period this week, so when I see him I have a good excuse. I'll tell him eventually.
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I don't want to rehash the abortion episode and make him feel bad about it--were finally moving pass it and telling him the truth would mess things up. He may feel offended that I still don't want a child by him right now(in the future I would like to). I know it isn't fair to him, but I keep having pregnancy nightmares which is why I just stopped having sex. I'm actually glad I'm on my period this week, so when I see him I have a good excuse. I'll tell him eventually. I mean it is unfair to keep him excluded in your reasoning. Just not having sex and not telling him why is probably freaking him out. Work as a team.
CrazyKing Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 3 of my buddies who were relying just on condoms got their girlfriends pregnant...
JeckyllNHyde Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I mean it is unfair to keep him excluded in your reasoning. Just not having sex and not telling him why is probably freaking him out. Work as a team. I really agree. You're lucky you have a bf who hasn't begun to complain yet and seems happy (from what I understand). Don't get me wrong. I can really really relate. I rely on condoms only and am a bit paranoid about it failing. I'm not sure about taking the pills and hormones though my bf really hates having us go buy condoms everytime. I'm pretty "strict" with myself though and if there's no protection, there's no sex. But I wouldn't do this with a guy. And becoming celibate? It's upto you, but he needs to know your "plans". So far no accidents for me/us. We don't have sexy every day or every other day though. Maybe once-twice a week (of course it can vary and be more/less).
Notreadyet87 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 this is a really scary thread LOL... I know three girls who also got pregnant by use of condoms as well. Two had abortions, the other one kept it... Relying on condoms solely for a LONG period of time isn't really a good idea if you aren't ready for children. Ideally the best way to prevent pregnancy is to not have sex. But if you can't do that, then using more than one BC method is the best strategy. condoms with bc is great... Or BC with withdrawal is fine... i'm skeptical about condoms with spermacide--but it definitely makes it safer.
Notreadyet87 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I really agree. You're lucky you have a bf who hasn't begun to complain yet and seems happy (from what I understand). Don't get me wrong. I can really really relate. I rely on condoms only and am a bit paranoid about it failing. I'm not sure about taking the pills and hormones though my bf really hates having us go buy condoms everytime. I'm pretty "strict" with myself though and if there's no protection, there's no sex. But I wouldn't do this with a guy. And becoming celibate? It's upto you, but he needs to know your "plans". So far no accidents for me/us. We don't have sexy every day or every other day though. Maybe once-twice a week (of course it can vary and be more/less). Well he's not exactly "happy". The only reason I've gotten a way with it is because for the last few weeks of December I was in Ohio for Christmas break--and well he's in chicago... then when I came back because school started back in January I was on my period so we didn't have sex. For the last three weeks we've barely seen each other because I have two jobs and a full class load, and he's working about 55-60 hours per week--we're both tired. He still wants to, but the tired excuse works because he knows I'm busy. And I know if I tell him I want to be celibate he'll get mad because we've been together for five years now--not wanting to have sex now is going to p*ss him off.
Notreadyet87 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 But I don't want to disect this thread anymore--so let's just go back to what the OP was saying. I'm curious to know how many others have gotten pregnant or an std when they relied on condoms.
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Well he's not exactly "happy". The only reason I've gotten a way with it is because for the last few weeks of December I was in Ohio for Christmas break--and well he's in chicago... then when I came back because school started back in January I was on my period so we didn't have sex. For the last three weeks we've barely seen each other because I have two jobs and a full class load, and he's working about 55-60 hours per week--we're both tired. He still wants to, but the tired excuse works because he knows I'm busy. And I know if I tell him I want to be celibate he'll get mad because we've been together for five years now--not wanting to have sex now is going to p*ss him off. After 5 years, he won't respect the fact that you are scared to death and emotionally hurt from the abortion? I think this relationship is unhealthy if you have to lie and hide your fears from your partner.
blue69 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Condoms are extremely effective when used properly. Human error is the largest reason for pregnancy while attempting to use a condom for birth control. Most cases, involves men/women doing stupid things and thinking they are OK. For example: Re-using a condom, using old condom (they have expiration dates), tearing it while putting it on (using teeth to open package), using oil based lubricant, leaving the condom inside the partner after ejaculation, having oral sex (with condom on) then progressing to regular intercourse (subject to tears), not releasing air from the tip (reservoir, it needs space for the ejaculation), not having condom on the entire time (some only put it on towards end), attempting to put on inside/out and of course simple wear on the condom from keeping it in a wallet. I am sure there are many other human mistakes being made. This is all I could think of. Any I am missing? Condoms are pretty effective, when used correctly. Many people think it is simply sliding it on the penis and don't think much about other aspects. Misuse is the number one reason for failures. Most people wont admit they make any mistakes and quickly blame the condom manafacturers. And the quality condoms do help. You get what you pay for. Enjoy.
Notreadyet87 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 After 5 years, he won't respect the fact that you are scared to death and emotionally hurt from the abortion? I think this relationship is unhealthy if you have to lie and hide your fears from your partner. Well if I told him it was about the abortion then he would understand. The problem is that he doesn't believe in abortions anyway--he feels emotionally hurt that I aborted the baby and didn't tell him in the first place. I think if I explained this to him, he too would not want to anymore, but I don't want to have an awkward night... And I'd like to have sex eventually, I just need to try to find another form of BC before i do.
Rose21 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Thats why I use b-control AND pulling out. More affective then JUST a condom.
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