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Honest feedback please :)


foreveralone
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Hey, So I've never really written a poem, but I'm in med school. And a friend of mine said our student organization is trying to find a way to honor the people who donated their bodies to our anatomy lab to study. And I can't draw or take photos, so I want to submit this as an entry. I am scared of being made fun of, so pleeease be honest. If it is silly, please tell me so I don't get laughed at. Here goes:

 

 

Steady mind, Steady hand

I still remember my rough start

In the old anatomy lab

I recall it saddened my heart

 

to think just months ago

you were warm and had a smile

but now you're always cold

I couldn't handle it for a while

 

But now I see what you really were

and how you've helped me on my way

This priceless gift you left behind

made me the doctor I am today

 

Looking down on my patient asleep

Your memory brings a smile to my face.

The image in my head is of your gift

And this gift is a treasure I will always keep

 

 

 

 

What do you think? stupid? OK? pretty good? Any warm and fuzzy feelings? Thanks for any feedback

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For someone who's never written a poem, that's really, really beautiful I think - especially the last two verses. Anything that brings out that much emotion and feeling is great. I love how you've written it simply but at the same time told a beautiful story, I could really feel it. Well done

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