ConfusedDater Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I won't get to use it until I found a job but I will keep it in mind for the future, I was flicking channels today and came accross a guy saying this to a girl after they ordered their food "So tell me something about you that I can't tell from just looking at you" what a great opening question for a first date. Anyone agree?
Ariel85 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 No, it sucks. Once again, you are treating dating like an interview or something to be scripted. STOP trying to choreograph dating.
Honey Pumpkin Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Sounds like one of the corporate 'ice-breakers' that consultants use in the workplace. I hate them, sorry!
Scorpion Fury Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 That's not smooth. If a guy said that to me it would turn into a "What do you think you can assume just by looking at me" debate.
Ac143 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Oh I agree I would feel like Im on an interview with you & not a date - total turn off.
cutiepie07 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 It could potentially be a good question, it all depends on the context. Of course expect her to respond with something that will you need to respond back with. What happens if she tells you about something that you have no interest in or don't know what it is? You need to learn how to have conversations, not everything is scripted. Asking a question is only part of it.
ConfusedDater Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 But it seems like that question can set the tone for the entire date and then both people can become comfortable with each other. I'm not saying drill her with question after question, just that one question with a smile
hers Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I thought you hate when dates are like job interviews?
ConfusedDater Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 I thought you hate when dates are like job interviews? I know but i guess it depends on how interesting the question is. I like that question a lot and I think it can generate interesting conversation. Now I'm not talking about asking-"so where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Up and Down Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I agree sounds like a job interview question.
ConfusedDater Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 I agree sounds like a job interview question. Why would a interviewer for a job ask a question like that?-lol
Mutley Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 First dates are VERY similiar to job interviews, really.
Ac143 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Why would a interviewer for a job ask a question like that?-lol Well some DO say "tell me something about yourself that I wouldnt know from just reading your resume" almost the same thing. The question & the way you are saying it just sounds so interview. Maybe if you worded it differently & the way you approached it - it could be a good question.
Up and Down Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Why would a interviewer for a job ask a question like that?-lol That's what interviewers do, they ask questions to get answers that they can't tell by looking at you. However your question above is just a single statement asking the same thing in one sentance. Very generic. Ask about more specific things, it shows more interest than just a generic statement, ask about her past, where she grew up etc...what she does for fun...Two most important things are don't drill the person you are on a date with, it should be like a natural converstation not a forced one, the second but most important is just be yourself. Examples of job interview questions...all things they can't tell by looking at you.... link removed_
jettison Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Why would a interviewer for a job ask a question like that?-lol Because the interviewer wants you to tell them something about you that might be difficult to discover until later on? Actually, it's not a bad question for an interviewer. It might get a person to start talking about themselves and their perceived qualities/liabilities. As for the date question, how about "If you were an inebriated, frisky fish that secretly wanted to have four legs, be able to breath out of water, and have sex with marsupials, which kind of fish would you be, and what kind of marsupial would you agree to have carnal relations with providing that the marsupial in question bought you drinks first and thought highly of his mother? And remember, you are NOT allowed to say goldfish and then kangaroo because what goldfish, even an intoxicated one, would EVER want to make sweet love to a kangaroo?! Now you're just thinking silly. Let's be realistic here." That may not get you in your woman's pants, but rest assured, they will NOT ask you that question at your next job interview (unless you happen to be interviewing for an accounting position at Smith Barney and then that's likely the first thing they'll ask.)
jettison Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 First dates are VERY similiar to job interviews, really. That's probably why most of those first dates fail miserably then. Who would willingly agree to go on a job interview if there was no chance that they'd get paid!
Mutley Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 That's probably why most of those first dates fail miserably then. Who would willingly agree to go on a job interview if there was no chance that they'd get paid! Don't you agree you have to "sell" yourself to the other person though?
hers Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 If a guy asked me that on a first date, I'd answer with "well I have a good work ethic, I'm prompt, & I work very hard". Those are things you can't tell by looking at me.
jettison Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Don't you agree you have to "sell" yourself to the other person though? If it comes accross like you're trying to sell yourself to the other person then you're mostly dead in the water. You better be awfully subtle about such a sell job. You'll have the most success if you're going out of your way not to sell yourself, but your better qualities are just rising to the surface naturally through other conversation. For example, if some woman asks you, "So what do you like to do for fun?" then telling her right off the bat "I looovve to travel. I'm very well travelled actually. I've been to Europe 6 times, and I speak two languages" is not nearly effective as if your date commented on the sorbet she just had for dessert, and you through in, "I know, it reminds me of Firenze!" To which, of course, she might say, "You've been to Italy?" And you might say, "Yeah, a few times. Love that place." Then you start talking about your food again. It's not an invitation to give a lecture about yourself and how freaking awesome you may be. If she is still interested, she might say, "What was your favorite city in Italy?", or "I think Spain is my favorite actually, have you been there too?" See the difference? In one scenario, you're grabbing every opportunity to go off on yourself, in the more subtle way, you are riffing off each other like you're playing instruments together or you're dancing together. You only offer something if it has some relation to the dialogue at hand, and better still, if it's some kind of direct reference to what you're talking about. Job interviews are the opposite right? They are structured. They are meant to "get to the heart of the matter". In a job interview, you are concentrating on getting to the applause at the end of the performance while on a date you are concentrating on each movement in the performance itself. Not final goal. You are just enjoying each moment and building on it.
jengh Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 If a guy asked me that on a first date, I'd answer with "well I have a good work ethic, I'm prompt, & I work very hard". Those are things you can't tell by looking at me. ahaha, exactly.
ConfusedDater Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 If a guy asked me that on a first date, I'd answer with "well I have a good work ethic, I'm prompt, & I work very hard". Those are things you can't tell by looking at me. Then my reply would be-"does that still apply to you after midnight?" LOL
jettison Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Then my reply would be-"does that still apply to you after midnight?" LOL "It does, but I genuinely require triple time after midnight and on holidays."
Mutley Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 i would make her laugh instead. That's good. Play the clown.
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