Choices confuse me.

[justally]

*sigh*

So, here's the deal.

Gentleman friend: 28, single, doesn't do exclusive unless a relationship lasts longer than 6 months. Into me, I return that interest with a kick in the booty to get over the ex. May have sleep with him...for a week, as a casual friend thing back in November. We were both lonely, and there really are no excuses. And I don't feel any shame, though I feel like I should. Is currently a 12 hour drive from me, on business. Will be back for a week in March, will be back here permanently in late April/May. Is a personal trainer, getting more certs right now, working on his bachelors.

Co-Worker: 27, single, into me, gave me his phone number, is tailing me, and gives me a 3 mile ride in the direction I live so I only have a 3 mile ride home. Felon, out for a year. Background is very similar to my ex's; he also shares his funny, charismatic lifestyle and the fact he has his own brand of honor/loyalty w/ said ex. Is kinda ambitious...though not to the extent I normally prefer. Very sexy; is very aware he's sexy. 2 1/2 hour MAX (train) ride away. 45 min by car.

Dude from gym: 21, very in to sports kinda into music in movies. Sexy, into me, haven't really gotten to know him, but he's asked me out for this weekend. We've worked out together, he's got a great vibe. Lives in Portland somewhere.

Former Co-worker: 21, very into various tv shows, movies, music, and football. Cute, I've known him for the last year, he competed with my ex for the privileges of dating me...in other words, I was oblivious that he wanted me, and had been shyly courting me, and blew him off for my ex. We have a standing movie date...And he's trying to take it further. As in, still into me, and wants to actually date. Lives 15 min drive, 2 hour long bus trip away.

Cute dude 1: 21, very into living life. We've come accross each other multiple times at soccer pick-up games, hiking in Portland, randomly on PSU's campus, once on the MAX. He lives a 20 min drive, 1.5 hour MAX trip away.

Also asked me out this weekend for dinner.

 

I feel like a player. Is it wrong for me to be accepting so many guys offers? I'm still concerned about the coworker; not just because he's a felon (to be fair, so was my ex. For the same crime. But my ex was 18 when he did that, the coworker was 24. Big difference in maturity levels, there.), but because he shares so much in common with my ex. but he's still sexy, and looks nothing like my ex. And, unfortunately, may be a lower class of white trash as well. My ex was barely considered that...the only reason someone would use that classification on him is if they met his family; he lived a very clean lifestyle. This guy hasn't separated from his family, so regardless of whether or not he lives like that on his own, he's supporting a mother and his sister & her kid after they've been laid off on $20000/yr. Not high-class living.

Ugh.

I feel conflicted. I have no clue what to do here! How the heck does one date?

[Sarati]

Not sure what your bottom-line question is. Here's my take, though: It feels good to get all this attention. You must be a very attractive young lady. Nothing wrong with taking stock of what's going on around you, and it sounds like you are weighing your options. Be careful about who you let into your life, and who you become intimate with. I would weed the felons out, don't make excuses for them, as a matter of principle and safety. You have concerns for a reason; LISTEN to them, and put distance between yourself and any person or situation you deem unsafe.

 

You can't accept all offers of dates, unless you have tons of free time, and it sounds like you are a busy student. If some or all of these young men know each other, it would not be hard for you to land yourself a reputation as a sl*t (no offense) because MEN are termed players and unfortunately, it's societally OK for them to do it, it's almost expected. Women, on the other hand, are judged by a completely different set of criteria; women who date many men are not "players", they are called the "s-word" (above). So be careful on that. My sense is that the Portland hiking guy might be the best of the bunch. I'd get to know him if I were you.

 

Don't let the ego stroke of all this guy attention cloud your good sense. Enjoy the attention, but be discerning, and make sure your own personal safety is first and foremost on your list.

[arwen]

Try focusing on who you like rather than who (you think) likes you.

[justally]

Try focusing on who you like rather than who (you think) likes you.

 

Hey! For what it's worth, I don't generally mope around wishing guys liked me! I require proof before making such assumptions!

 

The question was mostly how the heck do I go about doing this, do I go about doing this, and the underlying question was OMG!Boyattention!Willsomebodyhideme, please?

I also wrote it right after work, and right before bed so the issue of the coworker was heavily on my mind. I still don't know what I'm going to do about it, but I don't think I'm going to date him. He reminds me too much of my ex, and it wouldn't be fair to him.

[justally]

Date with DfG coming up in 1 hour.

OMG. SO very, insanely nervous. Ah, well. Let's just see how it goes, shall we?

[D_Lish]

Well so long as you aint sleeping with all of them...I see no harm in accepting invites to go out with them all. I mean you are young at the end of the day....no rush to get married.

 

Mind you, if I had that many men on the go and all at once, I'd earn the rep of being a s**t. Attitudes are different in the UK...and sometimes we are labelled a s**t, just for having being with 'several' guys thru our lifetime, let alone several at once.

[servedcold]

Are women EVER happy? I mean EVER? This thread is hilarious. OP, so sorry for the cruel and confusing trick fate has played on you by showering you with all this unfortunate male attention.

[justally]

...I have no plans on sleeping with anyone at this point.

Really, I have a rule that I generally keep in place: A relationship is not a relationship unless it's been two or three months. Before then, it's a sexually charged friendship.

It works for me. I've had a lot of guys (ok, I exaggerate. Like, 4) before my first boyfriend who I was interested make it into a month or a month and a half. But they always flake out due to the lack of sex. And to me, that's not a reason to flake. Sex really just isn't that important to me, though I do have to admit to being a high drive girl. I value myself a little more than that.

But...Thanksgiving, no family for either of us, both single, very much lonely...Southern tradition insists that I shouldn't take comfort in him. But I did. And it may make me "weaker" in my values to some, but it really was much needed solace.

 

 

And, btw, last poster: I'm happy! I'm just confused. Who isn't gratified to know that you're desirable? I don't seek validation from the men around me, but it is no less an ego boost for all that!