In_hiding Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Arg, I need some help. This weekend will be two months since my Exfiance brokeup with me from a 2 year relationship, I even moved 2400 miles away so I wouldn't be in the same area as her. I loved this girl dearly and could not be in the same town as her for a while. We broke up because I panicked when she was sick and didn't do what I should have done and she said she "fell out of love" with me and that we were at two different places in our lives . I'm having a really hard time not contacting her right now, even tho I know I shouldn't I want to. I have been keeping an online journal for my friends back where I used to live and in one of them I asked the general question "are you sure", and friends had to go and tell me that she went and read the journal and changed her messenger status to "but one things for sure, your always in my heart" which is making it real hard for me to stay in NC. I've blocked her from all my sites except the journal, I don't want to block her from that because in a sadistic kind of way I want her to see what she gave up and the changes that I have been going through Yeah the changes started to show her that I can do what I say I'm going to do, but now they are for me, I feel alot better about myself now. I just need someone to tell me not to contact her because I know I would do something stupid if I do, which I already did every classic blunder right after the breakup. Me.... In Pain
Sarati Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Sorry you are in so much pain. What kind of illness did she have?
In_hiding Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 She went to the ER room for a kidney infection, and for the following week I was afraid to get close to her in fear of causing her pain, and when she wanted food I was afraid she wouldn't like it the way I make it. I was very insecure about myself at the time and I battle depression alot, altho I have not had a problem with it since I started working out and taking care of myself better. Me
Sarati Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I just need someone to tell me not to contact her because I know I would do something stupid if I do, which I already did every classic blunder right after the breakup. No, you don't. You need to tell YOURSELF not to contact her. You are in complete control of your choices. If you don't want to contact her, then DON'T. You are not a puppet of the universe. You decide what is right for yourself. If the relationship is not going to go anywhere, then don't pursue it.
stickman Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Stay out of contact by all means! NC!! We spend so much time wanting to prove to that other what they are missing....That is the wrong thinking. They dont care anymore! The first person you must make happy is yourself. (Nobody is ever going to love you unless you love yourself more.) The only way to do that is get a real grip on what makes YOU happy. WRITE IT DOWN. (And self confidence is everything.) If you rely on THEM for your happiness, then YOU have a huge problem. Get some hobbies. Focus on how great you are going to feel when you find that new person. Think about it...Do your bum about the fish that got away or try to catch one again...perhaps one that is bigger? As a hunter, I have missed my share of big animals. But I learned each time and set my sights on the prize! The mind is powerful. So set a new goal and make that your new focus. Stay busy and then you never have time to think about the ex that is now long gone.
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