Jump to content

When are you ready to date again?


Recommended Posts

After my breakup 1.5 years ago, I didn't want to date anyone until I was completely over my ex and was starting on a clean slate with a new person. Recently I thought I was ready to date again because enough time had passed, I no longer missed my ex, and I was feeling damn good about myself again after my ex crushed my ego into dust. But most importantly, I felt I had grown so much as a human being and gained great insight about relationship as a result of all the suffering and soul searching I had gone through.

 

But my recent first dating experience turned out to be a disaster and left such a bad taste in my mouth and I'm sitting here wondering what the hell happened. I ignored all the red flags that were staring at my face and I'm now feeling like a crap, wondering to myself "what happened to the woman with better intuition? Didn't I learn anything from the previous failure?" I'm doubting myself again and all for the guy who shouldn't have been worth my time in the first place.

 

So am I not ready to date yet? Was this just a bad apple? When is the right time?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One bad dating experience does should not contribute to the assumption that youre not ready to date yet. After all, its been 1.5years for you since your last relationship and probably many years since your 'first date'. I wouldnt beat yourself up for it if I were you and put yourself out there again. Sometimes it just takes a few small adjustments and a bit of getting use to the whole dating thing before things start progressing well but that by no means implies that youre not ready to put yourself out there and that youre not the person you thought you blossomed to be. If this was five dates with 5 different people then I would be concerned. Try again and the right guy will come along.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What were all the red flags?

 

Him bragging about his date with another woman when he was on a date with me shoud have been a dead give-away. Where was my head?? I was advised by plenty of people not to go on another date with him, but I did anyway. OK, I admit it, he was cute, and he was also the polar opposite of my ex in every aspect, which I found totally amusing, so I thought I should give him another chance.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I also might need to adjust my attitude about dating. I'm not looking for anything serious at the moment, so I accept a date if a guy looks and sounds decent and intelligent and I see at least a potential for friendship. This guy was so interesting with all his life stories that I thought at least we could be friends, which is why I let his silly dating story slide.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Everything is a learning expierence. It sounds like you learned by your mistakes (red flag ignoring) and now you are in a better place next time. It isn't all that bad that you gave him the benifit of the doubt and went out with him again. If you are cynical and make instant judgements you may never meet someone new. First dates can be nerve racking and people often make mistakes. Don't beat yourself up over this. I think you are going about everything just fine. Maybe next time you could talk to your possible dates on the phone a little more before meeting up.

 

good luck..........

 

lost

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...