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Pushed away and left in the dark...help...


Adi
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I'm 21 and well I have been having problems with my girlfriend of 2 years lately.

Through these 2 years we were very close and I love her very very much,

I would miss her terribly and go crazy if I didn't get to see her or get a call from her each day.

 

Here's the thing, lately she has been doing this life reflection on herself and it has gotten her very depressed. She feels that she has acomplished nothing through the past 2-3 years and has sacrificed too much through this relationship. She felt that she needs a break for about a week because she wanted to step back from everything and consider her direction in life, even in our relationship.

 

I agreed to give her some time to think about it and all. Then about one week afterwards, where we had not talked or seen each other, she calls me. She was drunk and spent all her money and couldn't get home and wanted to see if I could give her some money so she could get home. I willingly raced over to where she was and offered to drive her home. Instead she pushed me away and blamed me for everything that went wrong in her life for the past few years that we had been together. She said that she had made all these sacrifices that caused her to fail at University and I was the cause of it all. I was at that moment heartbroken and devastated. It felt like my heart had been shattered and all I had done for the past week was miss her and worry about her well-being. Although I felt like that I had just been stabbed through the heart, I still offered to drive her home. She refused, saying that all she wanted was money so she could take the bus. I am sure anyone that has ever loved a person would understand that if you see a loved one in such a state, you would not allow her to go home by herself.

So what I did was that I pushed her in the car and drove her home regardless of what she was saying because to me, that felt like the only option I had.

 

3 days later she calls me and saids that she remembers all that she said and that she was sorry. She said that she didn't mean anything she said whilst she was drunk. She said that she wanted to start over with me again. I still loved her very much and said yes. Then for the following 2 weeks all she did was call me to pick her up from work and drive her home. Everytime she got into the car she would not say one word and then sleep, once she was at her door, she would just get out of the car and go into her house without one word of thanks. I didn't breathe one word of complaint although inside I was hurting like hell. Then about a week later, she tells me that she needs another few weeks to think about things and that within these few weeks I should be treating her just like a normal friend. I pleaded for her not to do this and she replied saying that she loved me and she cared for me but she really needed this break again. I agreed but it is hurting me so bad...so bad. Every moment I feel pain.

 

At the moment its been 3 days and through these 3 days she has called me a few times and called me "honey" and stuff. Also lately she has been calling one of my friends very often, and I am really suspicious and jealous. I really love her and have plans to be with her for the rest of my life for I feel she is the one. Although she has hurt me really badly, I feel that I may be a big burden on her. I am so confused at what to do and what she wants. She would not tell me what she is thinking and I am just in the dark.

Please help....I am just so lost at the moment.....

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I don't know, it's just my opinion. It looks like you've been trampled on and she has no idea what she's doing to you. Either that, or she does know what she's doing to you and has no other way out. I read what you wrote and I was like, "shat..." If I was in your position, I'd start making some big moves to be on MY OWN. If she's going to do this to you, then she doesn't deserve you.

 

Yeah, everyone messes up, especially when they're drunk. But if they feel no remorse, don't feel like they have to make it up to you, then something's wrong. She has a lot to make up to you and apparently she doesn't feel like it. I'd say let her go on her way and you do work on yourself in weening yourself off of her.

 

That's just flat out disrespectful, what she did, and what she's doing to you. If she's talking with your friend more than she talks to you, something's up. Maybe they're talking about you or the relationship, who knows. I was kind of in the same situation, but I was on the wrong end. I feel totally sorry for what I put the girl through and I'd do anything to make it up to her, as a FRIEND, now that we're apart. It sounds like this girl feels no remorse what-so-ever.

 

I think you need to move on. Be friends, it'd be a shame to lose a 2 year long friendship and more...

 

I'm sorry you had to go through all of that, and still are, but put a stop to it one way or another...

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Hi Adi,

 

I have a little different opinion than minndawg. She did ask for three weeks. I know that this does sound like an enternity, but relatively it is not really that much and there is some end to the tunnel of darkness.

 

I would evaluate things after three weeks and talk to her then. She BETTER comes around. I fear that if she doesn't, it could be time for you to let her go. But DO evaluate. Talk to her straight forward and tell her how you feel while she is away and talking to this other guy. Tell her how you love her and you want to be with her the rest of your life and that you need her. She did say 3 weeks... it hurts you too much to wait more. My last suggestion is to vary sweet words with words of your concerns and worries.

 

I hope this helped you ... good luck!

 

~ SwingFox ~

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