Jump to content

I think I'm a stalker...


BlueJean

Recommended Posts

I have no idea where to put this under and I think it doesn't really matter where I put it. People would think I'm crazy anyways...

 

Well the story starts like this...

I met a guy through net dating and it says in his profile that he just wanted to have some fun. That means that he is not interested in a serious relationship but wouldn't say no to casual sex. I was looking for a friend or if it turns out ok then a relationship.

He was good looking and I liked his presentation, he seemed like a guy with great humor. So I thought, what harm would it be to meet him?

So I met him and yes, he was very funny and very intelligent even though a tad self absorbed.

We kissed and made out, it was very nice indeed. The second date was waaay hotter but we didn't have sex. I knew that if we see each other a third time then we probably will have sex and that's not really what I wanted, at least not until I get to know him better. So I told him that we should maybe do same normal dating stuff like going out for dinner, watching a movie, go bowling or something like that. But he wouldn't agree to that cause I think it was too much of an involvement that he wasn't expected or wanted to have. So he told me that we should stop seeing each other. I wasn't too pleased with that cause I did enjoy his company and I liked him but I didn't want to feel like somebody's toy. I tried a few times convincing him that it could be nice to keep dating and I felt like a big time loser... Well eventually I have to give up...

 

Here comes the crazy stuff. I didn't want to give up, I wanna know him some more but I can't do that unless I am someone else.

So, I created a profile in that dating site just to catch his attention. Well guess what? He took the bait and I started to play this mysterious woman that he grew so fascinated of.

 

I know that this wouldn't make me more attractive to him and quite the opposite if he ever finds out about it. It's not healthy for me to continue. But I can't stop, at least not now.

I just added him to my fake msn...

I think I don't want to let it go cause he actually is very fascinated by this made up woman and even though is not real, I feel a bit pleased.

 

I know I am a psycho and I will stop eventually. I'll never meet him nor tell him the truth. I tried to ignore his mails so he would stop contacting her so I could stop playing but they just kept coming and it's hard to ignore...

Why do people want those that they can't get?

 

I hope that someone could tell me how to stop and move on without thinking less about myself...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

His profile answers your questions: Fun+no relationships+ no commitment

 

Getting to know him means building a relationship.

 

"Why do people want those that they can't get?"

 

That applies to you aswell.

 

Move on and look for someone else that wants the same things you want.

 

Cheers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

"Why do people want those that they can't get?"

 

That applies to you aswell.

 

Cheers.

 

I know that it applies to both of us.

 

Also I wish I could do and behave like what my brain tells me but sometimes or most of the time is pretty difficult to do so. I tried and I will keep trying...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

His profile answers your questions: Fun+no relationships+ no commitment

 

Getting to know him means building a relationship.

 

"Why do people want those that they can't get?"

 

That applies to you aswell.

 

Move on and look for someone else that wants the same things you want.

 

Cheers.

 

This is all you need to know. I don't think its stalkerish at all, just putting your curiosity into action. But yeah, Nighter makes a good point that the "we want what we can't have" applies to you. Let it go, I'm sure he was great and all, but bottom line, all he wanted was sex/pleasure. And thats not what you want, so leave it. Good luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I met a guy through net dating and it says in his profile that he just wanted to have some fun. That means that he is not interested in a serious relationship but wouldn't say no to casual sex. I was looking for a friend or if it turns out ok then a relationship.

 

From the very first moment you wanted different things - that's what you need to keep in mind.

I am very similar to you. In that I tend to pursue the situation and person further - even when clearly it's not the type of relationship I want.

 

Fall back from this person - They don't share the same values as you, and in the end you may regret the time and effort that your putting into this person.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is all you need to know. I don't think its stalkerish at all, just putting your curiosity into action. But yeah, Nighter makes a good point that the "we want what we can't have" applies to you. Let it go, I'm sure he was great and all, but bottom line, all he wanted was sex/pleasure. And thats not what you want, so leave it. Good luck!

 

I know that you all are right about everything...

But does anyone have any ideas on making it easier to stop? I would appreciate some suggestions on what to do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Bluejean,

 

Well, I don't think anybody telling you to stop being so crazy for this guy will end your addiction. Don't feel down on yourself because a lot of women go through this - trust me - I know from experience!

 

A scenario for you to think about:

The guy eventually gets bored. He wants nude pictures of this mystery woman. He wants to meet her. And so on. You have to waste your time to come up with a way to make this possible - or you just drop it, and make up a new woman, or play up yourself and try to get him back.

 

Meanwhile, he's probably chatting online on zillions of other sites you don't know about and is just as interested in 5 other women - most of who are total whores. They probably don't even look good! I can almost bet you that if you got into his email account you'd see nude pics of the most disgusting women you've ever seen and you'd be in total and utter shock.

 

A lot of women don't know that looks and attitudes aren't so important to men like this. They only want one thing and they don't really care who or what they can get it from.

 

Do you want to throw away 2 or 3 years of your life on this jerk? You'll probably still say yes because the addiction is still there right now - but if you can do anything to keep yourself busy and keep your mind off of him, you'll be doing your future self a huge favor. This guy will probably never really be that into anyone. He might act like he is, but I can almost guarantee that he is acting the same way towards a 45 year old not-so-attractive lady with a lot of issues in her life, simply because she'll put out. How about starting a new game before you get too involved in this one, and play yourself up a lot on different sites and see which guy is the most into you? This might help you get over him

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think it's stalkerish or psychotic-it's not like you sit watching his house in the middle of the night plotting murder! I think that you're bored and lonely and have re invented yourself as a fantasy person because you don't want the real you to face rejection. It's easy to become drawn into cyber world because it feels safe as you're less exposed, but I think that you should hang out with friends more and become happy with yourself and men in the real world will become drawn to you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know that you all are right about everything...

But does anyone have any ideas on making it easier to stop? I would appreciate some suggestions on what to do.

 

I would block him from MSN, emails & delete the fake account or delete all the accounts if you can. This way you arent tempted to keep contacting him. It wont be easy but you need to STOP, it almost like an addiction now that YOU need to get under control.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would block him from MSN, emails & delete the fake account or delete all the accounts if you can. This way you arent tempted to keep contacting him. It wont be easy but you need to STOP, it almost like an addiction now that YOU need to get under control.

 

That's true I'll try to do so.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Instead of beating yourself up for this, why not just consider it a lesson you wanted to teach yourself about responding to a profile that is clearly mismatched to yours.

 

Maybe toy with the question of whether you're a bit too enamored of the idea that you can change someone who wants to play with people into someone who wants a relationship with you.

 

Once you're ready to stop overworking the results of your experiment, you can shoot for a conclusion instead--you get to decide whether to target more suitable dates or if it's really worth going the sex-only route again.

 

In your corner.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OMG! I think I just got caught. I was too eager and wasn't cautious so I think I blew my cover.

Well, might as well, maybe it's better that way. Now I won't continue with this and I guess I have to go hide somewhere when ever I happened to see him xD

Lets hope I never see him again xD

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How did you get caught?

 

Maybe its a good thing not matter how embarrassing it could be because you NEEDED to stop.

 

Well, I didn't get caught, he just tried to see if I was behind all this. But he is suspicious. Cause apparently he fools people online all the time. So it wouldn't be weird to him that someone else did the same thing he has been doing.

 

He was about to tell the made-up character how bad he thought of me but he didn't since he doesn't know if I'm behind that character or not. But I do know it's nothing good he thought of me.

 

This is kinda good cause this just makes me wanna stop asap. But if I do then he would figure it out. So I have to hang on for at least another day or two just to play along.

 

I think he thinks that I'm a loser or I know so now. It will be easy for me to stop...

But I feel like crap...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow that's a mean thing to say & Im sure its hard to swallow but it would make anyone not wanna give this guy the time of day anymore!

 

I am curious if he knows or has a feeling its you behind this & that's why he said that. To get some kind of reaction or to see if this "girl" disappears now. You are pretty much stuck playing this role for alittle while longer - if you dont want him to suspect anything.

 

Never ever do this again!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow that's a mean thing to say & Im sure its hard to swallow but it would make anyone not wanna give this guy the time of day anymore!

 

I am curious if he knows or has a feeling its you behind this & that's why he said that. To get some kind of reaction or to see if this "girl" disappears now. You are pretty much stuck playing this role for alittle while longer - if you dont want him to suspect anything.

 

Never ever do this again!

 

I am pretty sure that he said those things to get a reaction, he is pretty manipulative.

The thing is this guy is not just like a regular player, if he was I wouldn't even look at him let alone doing this.

I regular player normally just have a very attractive appearance and not much else to offer.

But this guy is actually a pretty descent guy. He is intelligent, realistic, fun and doesn't behave like a creep. He is quite a gentleman actually.

The thing is, he doesn't believe in love. He never fell in love and I don't think he will ever do either.

So that's why he doesn't want to get involved with anyone.

I can't really blame him that he thinks bad stuff about me since he told me very clearly what his stand was on relationships.

 

But yeah, it was a big turn off so I would stop that insane act asap. But like you say have to wait and play along for a while.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...