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Maybe this should've gone in "Poetry" but its just some lyrics that got to me about my relationship with my mom... the pain is just more realized for me in lyrics:

 

Sometimes I think about you

Wonder if you're out there somewhere thinking bout me

And would you even recognize

The woman that your little girl has grown up to be

Cause I look in the mirror and I'll I see

Are your brown eyes lookin back at me

They're the only thing you ever gave to me at all

 

Oh, I hear the weather's nice in California

There's sunny skies as far I can see

If you ever come back home to Carolina

I Wonder what you'd say to me

 

I think about how it aint fair

That you weren't there to braid my hair

Like mothers do

You weren't around to cheer me on

Help me dress for my high school prom

Like mothers do

Did you think I didn't need you here

[ I Wonder lyrics from link removed ]

To hold my hand

To dry my tears

Did you even miss me through the years at all

 

Oh, I hear the weather's nice in California

There's sunny skies as far I can see

If you ever come back home to Carolina

I wonder what you'd say to me

 

Forgiveness is such a simple word

But it's so hard to do when you've been hurt

 

Oh, I hear the weather's nice in California

And just in case you're wondering about me

For now on I won't be in Carolina

Your little girl is off

Your little girl is off

Your little girl is off to Tennessee

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sorry it took so long to respond, I havent been on here for days! (haha 5 like thats a lot or something ) But yes, I do still talk to her. She wasn't there for me in a emotional sort of way, fast forward a few years and I got kicked out of the house for being engaged to my now husband (because she didn't like the fact that we were getting married so young) and then she deliberately didn't go to our wedding... completely missed it! I guess you could say I'm "over it" ... and I've definitely forgiven her for (my childhood) and the fact that she purposefully missed my wedding (one of the most important days in my life to me) but things like that just stay with you. I guess I just can't (and hopefully don't) let it "define" me. This is the only place (besides with my husband) I've ever opened up about this... granted its the "virtual world" but you know, it really does sort of help

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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