bad dreams, in desperate need of help

[jo_blogs]

a bit of back ground

my fiancé and i have been together for 6 years now (engaged for 5, dated for 1). i want to make this absolutely clear, i love and trust my fiancé implicitly, she means absolutely EVERYTHING to me plus my Fiancé loves me and i have NO reason to think she is cheating on me before someone comes up with that answer, if for no other reason she simply doesn't have enough time to cheat.

 

i have been having dreams recently about her being with other men, as much as i really don't want to im going to try and recall it all and write it here so you get a fuller picture.

 

Dream 1

My fiancé and i are walking towards a house i used to live in, with another male (actually a guy who works down at the local coffee shop) in my dream this is my fiancées other boyfriend, as in it was an open relationship (we do NOT have one of those) we go inside and talk for a bit and then they both leave the room and i hear a noise from upstairs i walk up the stairs and i can just see my fiancées naked head, neck and shoulders through the door and she is jerking up and down she sees me and pulls a few "sexy" expressions,

as she is jerked upwards i slowly see the other male behind her slowly coming into view and i go back down the stairs, then i wake up

 

Dream 2 - little more sketchy as i intentionally didn't remember this one

 

part 1

i am being forced to marry a woman i don't know, after the wedding i go to my fiancées room where she is on her bed, i put my head on her stomach and weep into her telling her how much i wanted it to be her im married too.

 

part 2

my fiancé is dating someone else and gets married to them (the male is the lead guitarist from my sisters ex-husbands band), next thing i remember is asking her (don't remember the exact phrasing) how her wedding night sex was and while crying then tell her how much i loved her and that i really didn't want her to carry on with this, she reassures me that its only for 6 months.

 

 

these may seem stupid to many people but im having these every night, i used to self halm and attempted suicide several times when i was in my teens, and the thoughts that i used to have back then have never been so clear in my mind since

 

i am begging people for help, and cant be happy and im spending alot of my days just crying constantly

 

please help

[EQD]

link removed

 

i like it.

[scorpio47]

Does she have a history of cheating or have you been cheated on before in your past? Does she know about these dreams? A lot of times dreams can dredge up your past because that's all it really has to pull from.

 

I hate to possibly sabotage things here, but if people do want to cheat, they will find time to do so. What does your gut tell you?

 

Please keep in mind that this is coming from the perspective of a person that has been cheated on before multiple times, so I'm a bit jaded here.

[EQD]

on another note you sound highly unstable if you are letting dreams like this get to you to the point you cry all day about them.

[Clementine orange]

Dreams don't really mean much. Reality is far more telling. Perhaps you should see a counsellor about this. It doesn't sound healthy.

 

Also in my opinion, 5 years is a really long time to be engaged but not married.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Is there a reason why you have been engaged for 5 years? If you are balking at marriage perhaps your dreams are telling you that if you don't get your act together and actually marry her she might indeed stray. If she is the one balking at marriage then perhaps your dreams are your fears that she is not committed to you and will find someone else in time.

[Ac143]

Maybe you are just scared that she "might" cheat & these dreams are haunting you.

 

Do you discuss them with her? Whenever I have a bad dream about my SO I tell him & we talk about it because I am one to remember dreams all day & they drive me nuts especially when they feel so real.

[jo_blogs]

ok ill try and answer these in order to make sure i get them all:

 

no, she has never cheated on me, although she did once confess to being tempted by someone, which nearly killed me

 

yes i have been cheated on badly by my ex-s but tbh this is my first "proper" relationship, i have only ever had 2 before this one lasted 3 days the other 2 weeks.

 

EQUESTRIANDYNAMO, if you had had dreams like these about the person you cared about the most, YOU would be unstable,

on a side note of this, i do also have alot on my plate at the moment, was recently diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, as well as loosing use of my legs for a few months (recently mended)

 

5 years is far too long to be engaged, unfortunately due to the above (CF and the inability to walk) i lost my job so we have been unable to get married due to money issues

 

i would kill if it meant me and my fiance could get married tomorrow,

 

and yes, i have told her about them, however, she is getting to the point where she doesnt want to know anymore because she says that she feels like she has done something wrong every time i tell her. and to be blunt i would be pissed off with me, due to the frequency

[EQD]

well see there you go, you are just under alot of stress. if its inhibiting your ability to function you should seek guidence.

and i DO know what its like.

i also know that a great deal of our dreams are metaphors. so consult the link removed website and interpret your dreams.

link removed

[EQD]

Weeping

 

To dream that you are weeping, indicates some deep seeded sadness in your waking life. You may be suppressing these feelings and are now manifesting in your dreams. Bottling up these feelings are not always healthy.

 

Wedlock

 

To dream that you are forced into wedlock, foretells that you will be forced into a disagreeable situation.

 

To dream that you are dissatisfied with your wedlock, foretells tendencies toward illicit behavior.

 

 

Wedding

 

To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. They reflect your issues about commitment and independence. Alternatively, your wedding dream refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Such dreams are often negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. If you dream that the wedding goes wrong or ends in disaster, then it suggests that there is more negativity that needs to be dealt with.

 

To dream that you are getting married to your current spouse again, represents your wedded bliss and happiness. It highlights your strong commitment to each other. It may also signify a new phase (such as parenthood) that you are entering in your life.

 

To dream that you are planning your own wedding to someone you never met, is a metaphor symbolizing the union of your masculine and feminine side. It represents a transitional phase where you are seeking some sort of balance between your aggressive side and emotional side. Two previously conflicting aspects are merging together as one.

 

If you are getting married and have dreams of your pending wedding, then it highlights the stress of organizing a wedding. Conflicts over wedding details, tension with family and in-laws, fear of commitment, and loss of independence may all cause wedding anxiety dreams. Research has shown that up to 40% of brides and grooms have dreams about their ceremony and things going perfectly.

 

House

 

To see a house in your dream, represents your own soul and self. Specific rooms in the house indicate a specific aspect of your psyche. In general, the attic represents your intellect, the basement represents the unconscious, etc. If the house is empty, then it indicates feelings of insecurity. If the house is shifting, then it suggests that you are going through some personal changes and changing your belief system.

 

To dream that you are cleaning your house, signifies your need to clear out your thoughts and getting rid of old ways. You are seeking self-improvement.

 

If you live with others in your waking life, but dream that you are living alone, suggests that you need to take new steps toward independence. You need to accept responsibilities and be more self-reliant.

 

To see an old, run-down house in your dream, represents your old beliefs, attitudes and how you used to think or feel. A situation in your current life may be bringing about those same old attitudes and feelings. Alternatively, the old house may symbolize your need to update you mode of thinking. To dream that your house is damaged, indicates your waking concerns about the condition of your house.

 

To see a new house in your dream, indicates that you are entering into a new phase or new area in your life. If you are locked out of the house, then it represents rejection and insecurity. You feel you are being left behind.

 

To dream that your house is broken into, suggests that you are feeling violated. It may refer to a particular relationship or current situation in your life. Alternatively, it indicates that some unconscious material is attempting to make itself known. There are some aspects of yourself that you have denied.

 

To dream of a haunted house, signifies unfinished emotional business, related to your childhood family, dead relatives, or repressed memories and feelings.

 

To dream that a house has disappeared, indicates that you are not feeling grounded. You feel uprooted by a particular circumstance or relationship in your life.

[EQD]

Cry

 

To dream that you are crying, signifies a release of negative emotions that is more likely caused by some waking situation rather than the events of the dream itself. Your dream is a way to regain some emotional balance and a way to safely let out your fears and frustrations. In our daily lives, we tend to ignore, deny, or repress our feelings. But in our dream state, our defense mechanisms are no longer on guard and thus allow for the release of such emotions.

 

To dream that no one hears or responds to your cries, represents your helplessness and difficulties and frustrations in trying to communicate with others. You feel that your words are falling on deaf ears. Perhaps your dream is telling you to be more vocal and work harder to get your point accross.