Jump to content

Is this girl into me or just a friend???


Recommended Posts

Cannot figure this girl out....thoughts??




At my place of employment I know a girl who initially displayed many classic signs of interest when she met me approx 4 months ago. Simply from the body language and complementative approach when talking to me it seemed as though she was into. The thing is at the time when i bleieved she was interested i didnt really care b/c I was into another girl. At any rate, the interest in the other girl fizzled to a regular friendship (which is cool by me anyway)...but I may think i became less interested in my initial girl b/c of this new one. These are both very pretty girls despite the fact they look NOTHING alike eachother (but that really is irrelevant despite the fact Im not choosing one over the other due to looks). The thing about the girl i currently dig is that i dont know if she is still as into me these days b/c I may have pushed her into the friend mode destroying her initial interest. I consider myself fairly knowledgeable about body language and signs of interest but this particular female displays so many of the interested and non interested traits. For instance. here's the not interested characteristics:

-She'll talk to me about other guys she's interested in

-Let me know when she thinks another dude is attractive

-Punch me in the arm/shoulder if i become overtly flirty with her

-Seem excited when certain other guys are around where we work

**Now b4 u folks think "hey idiot, she's clearly not into u" here's the other list of things she consistently does to make me believe otherwise:

-she laugs exceptionally hard when i make a marginally funny joke(seriously)

-i catch her looking at me when we're around eachother even if im not directly speaking with her

-whenever there is a group of ppl around she'll always say my nickname and come over to me first

-she'll almost never break eye contact when speaking to me

-has used two bit excuses as to why shes hanging out around me in excess so as not to seem its me who keeping her there

-has told me loudly&jokingly to stop flirting with other girls at work

-is noticeably disturbed when i talk to another female when her and I were talking first

-loves telling me anything, has gone out of her way to ensure we hang out in a neutral capacity longer (ie breaks, transportation home)

-texts me out of the blue to tell me meaningless stuff (not too often though)

-will seem to attempt to prolong our convo's when we catch eachother in passing when clearly the convo should be done.

-Seems genuinely/whole heartedly happy to see me, literally I have watched her face light up.

-I have caught her numerous times coming to sit or lean right next to me and she doesn't realize she's doing it, we'll catch herself and try and make some space (likely for my sake).

-She'll remember fine details of convo's we've had



Its possible I could stand to bump up my overt interest in her by either flirting or making a point of doing some xtra curricular activities with her to see if it becomes more obvious to me.


At any rate I can tell u guys/gals get the picture. I just cant sem to tell if im a person of who she thinks of very highly and respects as a friend or someone whos shes romantically interested in. Some may say its cut & dry but i dont understand why she constantly brings up other guys..I guess it could be to gauge for jealousy..but who knows. I do dig her for sure, but im more curious as to what u guys think of her actions?? I usually dont become real interested in a female until i know shes into me..its just the way i work. I guess I like ppl who like me, quite simply. But thanks for your patience in this long winded post...any questions or clarification please ask., or any scenarios u want to hear....thanks a lot folks!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is really tricky..I've been in this situation before. The problem is if she doesn't return your feelings things will get much more awkward between you two and you may even lose her as a friend.


From your list of evidence it sounds like she likes you as more than a friend. She may also be doing the other things to try to make it seem like she doesn't like you because she is worried that you don't like her back. I agree with paperneck, definitely show an increased interest and see if she returns it. If she returns it, ask her out on a dinner date. Good luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey gratsy, my bad if my post made it seem like I have a girlfriend. I don't. When i met the girl i currently like it seemed pretty clear she was into me, but, at the time I dint care b/c I was into someone else. The interest in the other girl faded and we're cool friends and thats fine. The problem is that initially i didnt really show must interest in the current girl b/c i was into that other girl and I figure i may have unfortunately pushed this one into the friend zone.


But i dont have a girlfriend & she is well aware of that. She actually mentioned once that maybe "so&so" who we work with is into me because she noticed she touches me all the time and is always around me. When she said this her voice dropped and actually sounded bitter. It seemed, especially when she said it, that she was quite jealous. But who knows, maybe u folks are right and she does like me a little bit more than a friend.


But to clarfiry I am single, and everyone i work with knows that.


Thoughts?? & thanks

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hey sneller, are you sure you don't work with me?


just kidding, it's just that I am hanging on her side of the fence for now, or kind of... either way, that's the kind of thing I do when I'm not sure what's in the guy's head. it will surely help if you make up your mind on what you want with her, and start making it veeery clear. in a subtle manner, but clear.



and watch out for the "she doesn't break eye contact" thing, because that's something I do as well, but with just about anyone. that's how I was taught to behave, and it just doesn't wear off - but misleads a handful of lads every year.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi OP,


Hmm it's hard to say for certain. I would ask her out and spend some time together, and see how it goes from there. At the moment it sounds like she just sees you as a friend (the arm punching and pointing out other guys suggests this) but doesn't mean something else can grow...


Best of luck

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for all the replies folks. I've had a lot of time to think about it. Do I like the girl?? yes I do. That is obvious to me. The reality is that I know I want her b/c I can no longer have her. When I knew she was into me I didnt really care, but now that her interest in me is gone I want her. (it may be b/c I long for the girl who really liked me at the start) I enjoy her as a friend as she is a great unique girl, but is too young for me at this point in our lives. So my point is that if I know that "I always like the girls who like me" I have to capitalize on this next time. Simple as that.


In addition, historically speaking, I have continuously gone for girls or become into girls that are entirely wrong for me in so many regards. Its odd. I can express verbally what I look for in another girl, yet I have a hard time practicing what I preach.


So whats my bullet point?? I believe my girl-buddy was genuinely interested in me at one stage but I forced her into the friend zone unfortunately. Thats my own fault. So being able to aknowledge this, I want to keep my friend rather than make it something that it won't be at this stage anyway. Too young, too far gone, too bad.


I think its quite common that ppl like those who like them. I am very fortunate in the sense I get to work with many, many preety girls. Many of whom I just look at strictly as buddies. But the moment I see an extra sparkle in thier eyes toward me than I start to like them. Its just the way I work. Maybe its a function of insecurites on my behalf, or the old reasoning that we want to be around ppl that make us feel good about ourselves. I know there is girls out there who do like me, I can just never tell which ones they are!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nah, I was never needy with this girl. The problem is that I was actually kinda a * * * * . She'd flirt with me, tell me she loves being around me, invite me to do stuff, but I blew it off. I think i was kinda a dck because shes 5yrs younger than me. And at the university level i thought it would go no where anyways as shes too unstable bla bla bla. As such, its my fault and i'll admit to that. So my loss. if she comes back to me ill entertain the idea, if not, ill be far from heartbroken. Sweet gal, but likely a dead end. Pessimistic...maybe, but its based on experiences ive had before.


Thanks again


I do agree tho, women are heavily turned off by neediness.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...