Should I have this conversation with my bf? Advice needed!

[MJ23]

Ok, so I have been dating my boyfriend for almost one year and a half. I love him so much and I know he loves me but sometimes I feel like I love him more than he loves me. We have previously been going to the same college, but he is graduating this year and I am not. We've had talks in the past and he's gone back and forth on what he wants from our relationship (sometimes he says I am the only one for him other times he says he is not sure).

 

Lately, he has been a lot better about the going back and forth. Basically, he hasn't said anything to the contary of being with me. The thing is...with his graduation coming up I have a lot of questions about where he thinks this relationship is headed. Lately, I've been sad and depressed (diffrent thread) which has been pushing him away.

 

So my question is...I NEED to talk to him about my worries, how I feel about him, (I love him so much and could honestly see myself with him forever--I know that might be premature but its how I feel now). Do I talk about my worries? Or will I just mess things up by talking TOO much? (I know guys hate all the "serious" conversations)

 

Please, I could REALLY use some advice!!!!](*,)

[Ac143]

Of course...like you said his graduation is coming up & its driving you nuts. Talk to him! Its better to have answers then be stuck in limbo & worried all the time. Im sure this isn't helping your depression & being sad. Get it off your chest

[MJ23]

I worry because I don't want to put him off by looking needy or insecure. Yet I'm driving myself crazy wondering where this is headed. I know I should wait and see what the future brings but I feel like I can't.

[Ac143]

This is stuff you should be able to discuss with your SO especially if its driving you crazy. If you dont get it off your chest, it will effect your relationship one way or another. When was the last time you guys discussed it? ie..what the future holds, what he wants etc.

[MJ23]

We've discussed it on and off...not really recently and not about what's going to happen after he graduates. He's told me (back in December) he's not just going to leave when he graduates and I don't know if I should leave it at that. Before he was flip flopping but he hasn't done that in a long time. I just don't want to come off as insecure. How do I begin the conversation?

[Ac143]

Its a great sign that he isn't flip flopping anymore & he said in Dec he isn't leaving right after graduation.

 

Im sure if he decides he needs to leave, he will discuss it with you first no?

 

If you want to bring it up, I would go about it when you are hanging out alone & just ask him casually - "so baby I was thinking & wondering what your plans are after graduation" or something to that affect...That could mean anything - get an idea of what his plans are, as far as where he's going to live, where he will be looking for a job? He should have some kind of idea & it will open up the conversation to where you guys are heading.

[scorpio47]

If it's something that's really bothering you, it's NEVER a good idea to hide that from your significant other. If it's that important, you should most definitely not just wait and see, and the reason why I say that is holding it in for this long has made you depressed and sad, and it's not fun being in a relationship with a sad and depressed person. Talking to him about it will allow you to fix this now before you begin to damage your relationship.

 

As long as you approach it from a calm perspective, and not a needy one, the conversation should go fine. If you don't bring it up, you'll just get needier and needier end up destroying the relationship anyway.