Kevma Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 While I was leaving class tonight I got a call from my ex. She still is a constant throughout my thoughts everyday. I did not answer because I don't want her to think that I wait around for her to call me, doubt she does though. After I left the gym I listened to the message and it was just a call to see how I was doing, how my weekend was and how my sister is doing. Shes going through a rough patch in her life right and and the ex had heard about it and wanted to see if everything was ok. I thought that was considerate of her but really no need to call me for info. I'm kind of confused at my own feelings towards this. I feel blah towards the call. I know it doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things and I'm not taking it as anything but a hi, how is everything. With that said I find myself not really wanting to answer if she returns my call back to her. On one hand its a chance to let her know that yes I am doing good w/ out her and have done wonderful things w/ my life since the breakup. On the other I'm afraid to hear her voice and whats going on in her life. I guess I'm wondering if me not really caring about talking to her tonight is a step forward towards letting her go. Believe me I still love her and would think heavily about reconciling if the chance presented itself but i don't know b/c one day i feel over her and the next I romantacise the ish out of our past relationship. Anyone have any thoughts on this. Link to comment
gee Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Hey Kev, Keep on doing what you are doing. You are acutally letting go if you feel like this. You may still be in love with her but she isn't controling your feelings like before. She shoul dbe calling your sister not you if she is concerned about her. Hw long have you been NC? gee Link to comment
Kevma Posted February 4, 2009 Author Share Posted February 4, 2009 Hey Kev, Keep on doing what you are doing. You are acutally letting go if you feel like this. You may still be in love with her but she isn't controling your feelings like before. She shoul dbe calling your sister not you if she is concerned about her. Hw long have you been BC? gee Hey gee, I'm not sure what BC means. I understand why she asked me before she contacted my sister, she wanted to make sure it was ok to txt her to see if shes ok but for some reason that bothered me. I guess part of me was being a little selfish in the fact that the message she left me seemed to be more focused towards asking whats going on in my sisters life and that was it. I have been very little contact w/ her most initiated by her for the simple fact that I don't want to know whats going on w/ her and I need to move on if thats ultimately what she wants. She hasn't said otherwise. Link to comment
pester1c Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 A call like this can create a set back for you. If you are wondering, the call meant nothing. It just means that you are a passing thought to her. Let go of the person, call any sort of feelings. Thats the right thing to do. Link to comment
Kevma Posted February 4, 2009 Author Share Posted February 4, 2009 A call like this can create a set back for you. If you are wondering, the call meant nothing. It just means that you are a passing thought to her. Let go of the person, call any sort of feelings. Thats the right thing to do. You are probably right, even though that is not what my heart wants to feel but my head knows. Link to comment
gee Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Hey gee, I'm not sure what BC means. I understand why she asked me before she contacted my sister, she wanted to make sure it was ok to txt her to see if shes ok but for some reason that bothered me. I guess part of me was being a little selfish in the fact that the message she left me seemed to be more focused towards asking whats going on in my sisters life and that was it. I have been very little contact w/ her most initiated by her for the simple fact that I don't want to know whats going on w/ her and I need to move on if thats ultimately what she wants. She hasn't said otherwise. Sorry, I meant NC. I changed it. "I have been very little contact w/ her most initiated by her for the simple fact that I don't want to know whats going on w/ her and I need to move on if thats ultimately what she wants. She hasn't said otherwise." Kev, you need to move on regardless! gee Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 When you returned her call did you leave any message regarding your sister? What you can do is not answer her next call and then return the call in the middle of the day when you know she will be at work. Give the information you want about your sister. In a casual tone say, something like "sorry I missed your call again, I just wanted to get back to you on your thoughtful inquiry about my sister" then give the information about her that you want to give, say nothing about yourself, tell her you hope she is well and then hang up. When someone calls someone's home during work hours the underlying message is that you didn't need to talk to them directly. In other words, you can be polite and give her the information she requests without actually having to talk to her. Link to comment
Kevma Posted February 4, 2009 Author Share Posted February 4, 2009 Sorry, I meant NC. I changed it. "I have been very little contact w/ her most initiated by her for the simple fact that I don't want to know whats going on w/ her and I need to move on if thats ultimately what she wants. She hasn't said otherwise." Kev, you need to move on regardless! gee I know I know I know, and I feel that only being 2 months out of a year relationship and where I'm at w/ my feelings isn't that bad. I am moving on, I havn't fully moved on but I know each day that I wake up I am going forward not backwards. Its going to take a little more time. Link to comment
Kevma Posted February 4, 2009 Author Share Posted February 4, 2009 When you returned her call did you leave any message regarding your sister? What you can do is not answer her next call and then return the call in the middle of the day when you know she will be at work. Give the information you want about your sister. In a casual tone say, something like "sorry I missed your call again, I just wanted to get back to you on your thoughtful inquiry about my sister" then give the information about her that you want to give, say nothing about yourself, tell her you hope she is well and then hang up. When someone calls someone's home during work hours the underlying message is that you didn't need to talk to them directly. In other words, you can be polite and give her the information she requests without actually having to talk to her. I didn't leave her a message and I don't know when she'll be at work, her schedule is all over the place. I called her back and I'm leaving it at that. She can call me back or she can find out from her sister how shes doing. Which is what she could've done in the first place. Link to comment
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