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Online dating sucks!


TheNightman
TikTok Advice For Relationships Suc...
TikTok Advice For Relationships Sucks

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Seriously, everyone says online dating is a great way to meet people, but after two months I haven't met anyone. I sent an angry letter to the service demanding a refund for their "service" but they offered another free month instead so I took it, but 2 weeks in, still no one. My messages and inquiries rarely get returned and no one ever initiates with my profile.

 

It's just so competitive. I'm a 23 year old guy. I'm no supermodel, but I'm not ugly. I think I have a pretty good looking picture. I state my hobbies, which are snowboarding, skating and water boarding. I'm not asking for much, just a girl around my age, give or take a few years, but for every girl there's like 2 or 3 other guys! How am I supposed to compete?

 

Not to mention how insanely demanding and picky girls are on online dating sites. They all seem to want professionals career men who's tall (some girls are audacious enough to list height requirements) and 6 pack abs. I'm still in college for God's sake.

 

What can I do? Is there anyway for a guy to succeed in online dating?

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to get a good response you have to tailor your message to their interests .. ask questions about them, etc. all i can say is keep grinding it out, you will eventually find some kind of success.

 

its a low success rate.. ive probably messaged 30 people, got responses from 6, kept it up with 4, and only met 1 so far.. with 2 progressing ok.

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I know how you feel man, I've been at it for a year now with very little response, and I have done ALL of the initiating. I don't think online dating is as great as people make it out to be. I think if it's a matter of shyness maybe it would be easier to get over that fear and actually talk to some women in real life. That's what I am starting to see.

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online dating is unfortunately very similar to real life. any girl decently attractive is going to have their mailboxes flooded with a ridiculous number of guys. you will most likely be 1 of many, many messages she gets. so what can you do about this?

 

a) make your profile stand out and unique. look at other guy's profiles. don't they all kind of seem generic to you? make yours humorous, casual, something that would somebody would be interested in finding more about. ask any friends that are girls to check it out and get their opinion.

b) if you send a girl a message. don't make it too short ("hi, you're cute!") or too long that you freak her out. just something witty and unique that she would want to reply to. "that picture where you're outside at night, was that in Chicago? i just saw Rent the musical last week. have you been?" or whatever, you can probably find something to copy & paste from online.

 

so yes, don't have too much faith in online dating in general. it's just one avenue out of many to meet people. and maybe i'll get beat down for this, but i think it favors the girls just like dating in real life.

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Dating is all about rejection - and dealing with that rejection. Sure - "they" say 'don't take it personally', but camman - someone just took a good look at you and said "nope - not for me'. We've all had it done to us - and we've all done it to someone else. THAT'S DATING.

 

I personally hate it too - but I do it because I want to find someone. I also take breaks now and then (like now) because after getting rejected enough times in a row you kind of need to reset (at least I do).

 

I recently met one girl online - it's kind of left in the air, but the vibe I'm getting is that she's not interested. Her profile said the truth about online dating - it's all about the pictures. It's what everyone looks at first....and with so many people using dating sites, the women you're probably looking at and sending messages to (and there's nothing wrong with that) are the same ones who are - as said earlier in another post - getting all the attention. Unless you are the total hunk they're looking for - they probably won't bother replying.

 

As I said - dating is all about dealing with rejection. A guy can only take so much before they need to kind of let it go for a bit. I do that anyway - but then I"ll go back, stick my neck out again and give it my best.

 

Good luck, mate....you're not alone!

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1) I don't see how any of this is the fault of the website.

 

2) I don't see a problem with a woman saying what she wants, height included. I don't like to date women taller then me and would say so and do think that's to "audacious" of me.

 

3) You can either try to improve your profile and keep trying or just leave their site. If you choose to improve, I'd search through enotalone, as there are a lot of threads about it.

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Online dating can be very frustrating at times, and at the end of the day I can't say I've ever formed a proper relationship from it (I've been doing it on and off for about 2-3 years). That said, I have found it's helped me to develop dating skills and get some dates (because in "real" life I never seem to!).

 

In terms of your concerns. When I was 23 and still at college I would have dated someone at college.. not expected a professional. My criteria is well educated /intelligent and that can be 1) Currently studying, 2) Professional job 3) About to study 4) Sounds like someone who is interested in the world and learning new things and still has ambition despite no degree. I don't think all girls would care that much about what your career is now as long as you're headed in the right direction which it sounds like you are!

 

In terms of us girls having 2-3 people vying for our attention at any one time - well I don't think that's necessarily true. I am told I'm attractive, I'm smart and successful and I am a nice person and yet I rarely have a zillion guys emailing me at once. Yes, I get many contacts but I only reply to those I like - and that is usually only 1-2 at any time - I find it waxes and wanes.. Sometimes I go on 2-3 dates in close vicinity, then I may go 6-9 months with nothing.

 

As for height requirements, we're all able to have preferences. I personally am 5ft6 tall and want a guy to be a bit taller than me at least, that is just what I like.. just like there are people who like slim, curvy, blonde, brunette etc... we all have preferences - it's not about being picky I don't think - as long as you don't have an unrealistic list a mile long!

 

My advice is to keep at it, keep contacting as many people as you can who catch your interest and see how it goes. I recently got free contact so I contacted about 9 guys and only 2 responded (bear in mind 8 of the 9 I contacted had already sent me a free "wink" first...) Who knows why this happens? But I have learnt not to let it bother me too much and instead pursue the ones who do respond or find other options.

 

Ammy

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You're in college and you're online dating?

 

Eh, not that I actively do online dating, but I'm in college, too (first year, second semester), and I haven't met any girls. Haven't really made friends with anyone, really; I'm kinda too shy, and only really socialize if I'm forced into that situation, and THEN I make friends. All of my classes so far haven't really been offered any opportunity to socialize, they've mostly just been lectures. If I had better social networking, I might be dating, but eh, to be honest, I'm more concerned with dating than making friends; all the "friends" I've had in the past just let me down. And I know, that's not a good outlook to have, but it's not that I'm against socializing and making friends, I just don't expect much out of it, so it's not much of a concern.

 

That said, getting on topic, I've dabbled around on some online dating sites (well, specifically one that kinda doubled as a social networking site), but I can't say I really like them. For one, I think overall chemistry is super important, and I just don't think you can properly gauge how much chemistry you would have with some one just by looking at their profile. I'm sure lots of people find a way to make it work, and that's great, but I can't personally see myself ever using an online dating site on a regular basis, and meet girls through it.

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