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She was the initiator of the moment, but it was an ending I was encouraging..I wanted her to go to her ex bf because I couldn't stand 70% of her personality and her debet mess. I could have turned her around, but I didn't.

She has gone to him..and I have NC and absolutely no way

of knowing anything about her situation (other than that she is the type who always has to be in a relationship... she's not celibate in a nunnery somewhere).

 

So, here's the rub... I really loved the 30% that was beautiful , great in the sack, great arm candy, spontaneous, wild, fun...

I miss it and it feels like a burning stake cutting through my gut. I can't seem to project the 70% intolerables, her narcissim, her nagging, criticizing, complaining, * * * * * ing, selfishness, rudeness, immaturity, etc. etc..there was always an ugly incident with her...and I gave her a lot of money that I'll never see again. Yet every morning I wake up and want the good one next to me... This is sooooo hard.

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