DakotaSkye Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 I've been having issues with my boyfriend, or exboyfriend...I don't really know anymore... for a while. We were dating for three years and broke up last month because we just didn't understand each other. I won't get too much into it (you can read any of my previous posts if you really want to know the details), but I'll just say he was kind of controlling and we could never work anything out. So I decided we'd both be better off going in our own directions. I had absolutely no intention of getting back together with him. He'd always told me that if we broke up, he would completely erase me from his life and never contact me again. At the time, it broke my heart that he would just forget me that easily, but when we actually did break up, I was sincerely hoping that was exactly what he would do. Well, he didn't. He'd call, and I wouldn't answer because I didn't know what to say. A few days ago, he sent me an email. I didn't open it right away because I knew that if he tugged at my heart the right way, I'd go back to him. He IM'd me before I had a chance to read it, and we started talking. He said he wanted to try again, and this time things would be different. I didn't believe him, but the things he said made sense to me. He said that, because we started dating 3 years ago, we were still treating each other as the people we were back then. We grew accustomed to each other the way we were and didn't take into account the changes that have taken place since then (I was a freshman in college; he was a sophomore). But the thing that really made me feel better was when he told me that the issues we faced before, the ones that he refused to try and fix previously, were things that he was honestly willing to work on. He said in the time we were apart, he realized how perfect I was for him. I told him there were many things he hated about me (my indecisiveness, my moods, my quirks), but he told me that was exactly why I was perfect for him. Those things were me, and he loved that. His maturity and understanding were enough for me to open up to him again. Almost everything I had decided were valid reasons to not be with him, he had a solution for. I don't know if I should have allowed him another chance, but I did. I just hope I don't regret it. Since then, we've been really close. We've been talking about everything, completely openly. Something we rarely did before. The sex is awesome, too. Not that it wasn't good before, but it just feels so much more meaningful than before. I think, after living a single life for a while, I've realized how important close, caring relationships are. With my friends, everything is superficial. No one really has any sort of compassion for anyone, and maybe those are just the people I chose to hang out with. But being with him reminded me just how much he really cares about me. I just hope I'm not making a huge mistake. The first break up was devastating, and I know I won't be able to handle it a second time. I really do love him, I always have, but sometimes that isn't enough to make it work. I'm just concerned that it won't last, and we'll be back to the way we were before the break up.
SighSob Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Well everyone deserves a second chance, and even if things go back to the way they were before you will survive anyways.
DakotaSkye Posted February 4, 2009 Author Posted February 4, 2009 just so i'm sure, was it a mutual breakup? Yes, I believe it was mutual. I wasn't understanding him and he wasn't understanding me. I think we both realized that it wasn't going to work at the time.
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