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Posted

Ok well basically to sum up the scenario, Im 19 years old and at University.

In my first year i met this girl and we hit it off straight away and we were like "Awww we be best friends!" it went on like that for a few days, hanging about all the time, then we kissed and started seeing each other, like sleeping together and stuff. Was nothing official like Boyfriend/Girlfriend, but the situation was the same.

After 2 weeks of me seeing her, she invited me over to stay at her house with her family over christmas and her family still adore me now (especially her mum, thinks im awesome)

After about 6 months or so she felt like we should just be like friends and wanted it to go back to how it was when we first met so it was weird for a while, like we didn't do certain stuff together like cinema as she said it constituted as a date, but it's even weirder cause she never grew apart from me, if anything she became even closer to me and still says i'm the person she is closest to. Sometimes i feel that she likes me too much and we were too close and can't deal with it.

She started seeing another guy recently and is in a relationship. I asked her to explain to me what it was that he had and i didn't but she couldn't explain it (which is fair enough), told me that she still prefers hanging out with me the most and that im more attractive than him,

This killed me a fair bit and we were on really bad terms for a while, like she hated seeing me on nights out and tried to avoid places i was. This was back in September, but one night she came over to me and dragged me over to a seat and told me that one of my songs she had on her laptop came on and reminded her of me and she got really upset and told me how she really missed me and spending time with me. So we were cool for a while and even though she does have this BF, invited me to stay again over Christmas, but i was working so gave it a miss.

Recently we have become a bit closer again and when we spend time, it's like nothing had changed between us. Like we will text ea other a fair bit, which i know she doesn't do with her other friends or even her BF and we even talk a fair bit over the phone, like i can ring her at 2 AM after a night out and she will happily wake up and talk to me for over an hour or so as she said she finds it fun!

What makes the situation even more strange is that the other week we agreed to go to the cinema together, but told me that we best keep it a secret, her BF asked her if she was going round but told him she had work to do and was going round to her friends. She stresses that we are just friends, but i sometimes feel as if it's not the way you should act with a person you have been with before, and if she does feel nothing for me, why would she need to lie or keep it a secret from people as there would be nothing to hide.

Fast forward to now and she suggested we should go cinema again, but make a day of it and go out earlier maybe shopping, then watch the film. I like her a lot, more than any girl i've met and we get along so well. Just no idea what is going on in her head.

 

Any advice would be much appreciated!!

Posted

She is using you for some sort of emotional support. You are letting her use you. Her behavior is not appropriate with the new BF, as there should be no reaosn to lie. You should be cutting all ties since you still have feelings for her.

Posted

Kind of get where you coming from. But i don't see how someones feelings can suddenly change like that and Columbine, i'm confused on your response, you saying that she feels something cause she is lying to her BF or that she cannot be trusted?

 

No offence guys, but i reckon girls will probably be the best and possibly giving some insight to what is going through her mind!

Posted

ok well i am a girl 20 yrs old so...

 

To clarify what I meant, if the girl is lying to her boyfriend then it means she knows her relationship with you overreaches the boundary of just friendship. It also means she's deceiving the person she's meant to have feelings for. I understand that you really like her, and that it might feel kind of exciting, the idea that you and her connect deeper than her and her boyfriend, but you have to ask yourself, if that really is the case why is she with someone else?

 

I have to admit, I've been in a similar situation as the one your ex is in and I'm not proud to say I enjoyed having a covert relationship and knowing that two guys were really into me. It made me feel special and i wonder if that is what your ex feels.

 

You really need to confront her about it. If she likes you so much more than him why is she stringing you both along? If she's the great girl you hope then she'll give you a direct and honest answer and she wont dangle you like this.

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