Help... my girlfriend has some serious issues.

[somaback]

I have been dating this girl a short time but I have very strong feelings for her, and her for me (I think). We've been dating about 3 months. About a week ago we suddenly broke everything off. She had seemed uninterested in me sexually, and I picked up on that and asked her if we needed time apart. She thought we should call it off. The reason though was because she said she felt I pressured her into sex. While I may have put some pressure for sex I did not put too much. However, a week later we have started seeing each other again. Now she is not interested in sex at all. She has told me that she has had some emotionally disturbing past relationships, and she does have an eating disorder which seems to affect her mood drastically. But I don't know what to do. I honestly must say that I need to have sex in my relationship, but she says she is not in the mood at all. When I try to talk to her about it she says she doesn't know what she can do and gets angry. She simply says she just isn't in the mood. I think she has some serious emotional issues. I can compromise on not having sex all the time and I only want to do it when she wants, but she NEVER wants to have sex.

 

I can't talk to her about it since she says it prompts a reverse reaction... as if I am pressuring her. We seem to agree its an issue we want to try to resolve, but I am not sure what to do. I love her companionshipo and don't want to pressure her. I am willing to work this out even if it means months without sex, but I think that her lack of desire shows a serious problem.

[Brneyegirll]

My goodness...I personally think its awful she doesnt want sex at all. How old is she?? I know im 36 and I Love having sex. And i feel a woman should take care of her man when he wants/needs it. If she apsolutely doesnt want intercourse then she should do other things to satisfie you. And only being together 3 months and shes doing this?? I think thats awful soon in a relationship. Maybe she needs to seek some counseling or see her GYN doctor. Is she even trying to find out if she can get in the mood? I think she at least put an effort towards trying!

Somethings just not right here. There are some women who just hates sex or anything to do with it..i have a sister in law who is just like this. The only time she has ever wanted to give my brother sex was when she wanted to get pregnant..SAD!!

Good luck with her..

[Xandra]

And i feel a woman should take care of her man when he wants/needs it. ..

 

What about her needs? If there is something really wrong with this girl how can you expect her to just jump into the sack, loving it? I don't think somaback wants her to fake that she likes that level of intimacy when she obviously isn't into it. Intimacy should be SHARED between two people, not about one person giving the other person sex. Seriously as a female you should defend that to the ground.

 

Somaback, I sympathize with your situation, as I've been there as a female (the one not wanting to have sex). The reason I stopped wanting to have it was because we just didn't communicate anymore, I stopped understanding him and vice versa. I didn't feel that he was attentive enough to MY needs, even though for the first several months I was very attentive to his. Be certain that you're not being selfish - no offence intended.

 

After three months there is no way that you can know each other completely. If you already feel that your girlfriend has serious emotional problems, it's probably better to end things now. She will not be able to move on and maintain a happy relationship with you because of her own personal issues. Sex is obviously important to you, and it should be, but if things are already going downhill after three months, it's probably better to cut your losses and move on.