Getting past the small talk

[sttriber]

Well lately I've gotten it together and am talking to a good looking female and we have small talk without a problem (have talked to her twice) but I cant seem to get past the small talk stage and go in for the number. How do I put myself in a position to get the number. What do I say or do?

[dan10]

well there are several ways you can go about getting her number.

 

1) you can just ask her (ex. "can i have your number so i can call you?")

 

the good thing about this is that it is direct and you will get a direct answer

 

the problem is that it puts her in a bad spot and you are less likely to get her number

 

2) you can give her your number and ask her to call you. this way if she calls then you know she is interested and you can move forward. if she doesnt call then you know she isnt interested and u need to move on.

 

what i like about this is that it gives you a generally clear idea about how interested in you she is

 

the problem with this one is that it puts the ball in her court and you have no control on the outcome

 

3) (my recommendation) find a couple of friends that you would like to have a small get together with (like going out for drinks or something) and invite her to go with you. say that you dont have all the details and you'll call her later with more info. (ex. "a couple of friends and i are meeting for (insert activity here). would you like to come?") then wait for a response. if she says yes then ask her for her number so you can call her later with the details. if she says no then drop it and move on with the conversation.

 

i like this one the best because if she says no then it doesn't definitively mean that she isnt interested it could just be that she is busy or something and it leaves the door open for you to try again getting her number a different way. also she may just give you her number so that you can call her anyways and then tell you that she cant or doesnt want to go.

 

the problem is that you actually have to get your friends together if she says yes. but if she says no you're off the hook

 

 

hope this helps a little with giving you some ideas

[stella74]

^ Those are all good suggestions. I'll add comments.

 

#1 - if you ask for the number, it might be easier if you think of a reason to ask for it...for example, if you go to the same school, you could say you'd like to call her to ask her about one of your classes or some event at your school

 

#2 - this isn't as good because a lot of girls want the guy to take the initiative to make the first call...even if she's interested, she might not call you

 

#3 - getting her # to invite her to a group activity is a good idea