HereAndNow Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I met this guy, who seemed too good to be true. Charming, intelligent, funny, cute, successful... you know, one of those guys women dig, and he seems to have no shortage of women in his life. We went out on a few dates, had a lot of fun, but something about him bothered me a little from the beginning, i.e., he always over-showered me with compliments, which sometimes left me doubting his sincerity. Also, at times it felt like he totally adored me but other times he seemed to have drifted away even when I was sitting accross from him. Because I was a little unsure, I've been holding out physically and told him I needed to take things slow until I felt comfortable. He said he would wait, and I was like "wow, this guy is in it for real...", which made me like him more, but I guess his patience ran out rather quickly. On our last date he seemed a little frustrated and told me that he felt attracted to me and implied he wanted to have sex. I am very attracted to him as well and would love to have sex with him, but I want to wait until there is no nagging feeling of "shoud I...?". Anyway, it's been more than a few days and he hasn't called back for another date (he usually does the next day) and I have a feeling that he won't, and it's probably all for the better if he doesn't, but I feel bummed out because I really like him. He's the first guy I actually really liked in a long time and he has a way of making you feel like the most precious thing in the whole world... I'm not going to have sex just to make him stay around, but I feel very discouraged today about the whole thing, dating, sex, finding love, etc...
Scorpion Fury Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 That sucks I'm sorry, but there's always a bright side. at least you held out and didn't have sex with him. You'd probably feel even worse when he stopped calling since you liked the guy
bmwm3 Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 dating in tuff... but if he doesnt call. most likely he really wasnt sincere. and said those things just to get some botty... lot of smoth talking guys outhere get what they want with words... look at it this way.. by holding out and sticking to your belefis.. this will benefit you.. because it weeds out the bad guys.. and one day the right guy will come along.. till then you just gotta but yourself outhere.. till you do... as a guy i def respect a women more if she wants to wait and respects herself...
flash83 Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 good play on holding out on the sex, it sounds like his 'ill wait' thing was nothing but a ploy. but i wouldn't giveup hope, he may just be busy and could still call you for a date again.
beauty_is_pain Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 i know how u feel, i was a little hesitant to sleep with the guy i was dating, but i went ove to his house for a date to watch movies, and he seemed to think that meant we were going to sleep together and he pretty much forced me and forced me until i agreed cause i was too tired of fighting him off...which sucked...but what ive learnt is that dating and relationships, and love all suck...i know thats not encouraging...im sorry!
HereAndNow Posted February 2, 2009 Author Posted February 2, 2009 Sometimes I wonder if I take sex too seriously... I mean, he's attracted to me and I'm attracted to him... What do you do when your body wants one thing and your head tells another and your heart is just confused?
Scorpion Fury Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Sometimes I wonder if I take sex too What do you do when your body wants one thing and your head tells another and your heart is just confused? wait till they're all on the same page. He's taking it seriously too if he will stop talking to you over it. Shows that's all he wanted in the first place. Pffffttt, lame. Thumbs down. Good job sticking to your guns.
yankeefan74 Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Sometimes I wonder if I take sex too seriously... I mean, he's attracted to me and I'm attracted to him... What do you do when your body wants one thing and your head tells another and your heart is just confused? No reason to doubt yourself, or what you feel just because this didn't work out. I understand being discouraged, but don't change what you believe simply because this guy couldn't wait. You were unsure because the guy would act as though he adored you, and then he'd drift away. Frankly, without knowing him at all, it sounds like tried to get really close to you to get laid. He'd drift away when it didn't work. He'd try again, and the cycle would repeat itself.
annie24 Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Sometimes I wonder if I take sex too seriously... I mean, he's attracted to me and I'm attracted to him... What do you do when your body wants one thing and your head tells another and your heart is just confused? i figure you should wait until you get get to know him better and are sure that he'll call you the next day!
D_Lish Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 If he disappeared before the sex, he would have likely disappeared after sex also....
Ariel85 Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Don't let one jerk discourage you. Instead - look at the positive here. You trusted your gut and outted him to be a dude was only looking for booty. So, you actually ended up saving yourself from a LOT more hurt if you had slept with him and then he bolted. Be proud of yourself!
MyNinja Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 hey i know exactly how you feel because I've experienced this last year. This guy was all smooth talking and portrayed himself as the perfect gentlemen. He picked me up from my place...always introduced himself to my family...he would compliment me...open doors for me...offer to pay for dinner...You know the whole nine yards. Then after a week passed he started asking about my sexual history and asked me how the other guys before him treated me. Then he would compare himself to the 'other guys" before him and say something like "See, i don't know why those men treated you like that...i don't care about sex....that's not the first thing on my mind" blah blah blah...then about a day later he would ask "so are you a virgin? Is that why those men were so eager to 'get to know you'?" After that, I knew where this "relationship" was heading...he started to get frustrated and asked me if we were friends or more (this was two weeks into the budding relationship) He said he wanted to know because he has "needs" and he felt he knew everything about me and wanted to take it to the next level I was so turned off! I told him no that two weeks is not nearly enough time to know someone. I threw all the "nice" things he said and did for me back at him to show him that he was a huge fake and a horrible liar. He said I must've thought I was morally better because I'm a virgin and chose to stay one at my age He stopped showing up at the church we went to and where I met him and I found out through some church members that he hitched hiked to L.A Go figure! Be careful
MyNinja Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I also found out that he was talking to one of his friends about me asking if he should try to have sex with me. He told EVERYONE he knew about me. He told all the men at the church to "stay away from that one" He almost got his face smashed to pieces by some of the church folk because everyone at my church knows me and knew how I carried myself, so when he said that they were very offended. I got the biggest talkin' to by my church to not trust everyone you meet, ESPECIALLY some church members because they will put on the biggest show about being Godly and Christ-like and that every woman should want a church man, but really are out for one thing Be careful next time...be as picky as possible and trust your intuition and your instincts
Batya33 Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 I don't think I'd be so quick to judge him as a jerk - many people decide not to go on a fourth date for whatever reason - the OP is assuming it was because she didn't put out. What helped me not get that attached/disappointed was to assume that each date was the last - not from a negative mindset just from a realistic one that a few dates does not a relationship make, and that way I could have a blast on the date without worrying too much about whether there would be another date.
HereAndNow Posted February 3, 2009 Author Posted February 3, 2009 I don't think he was a jerk. He was a gentleman and didn't make any unwanted advances on me. I think he and I were on different time lines and we were probably too different to be compatible. I look before I leap and he seems to be the type who just jumps into things. I was attracted to him because he was so different from me.
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