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Having a relationship for the sake of...


Blockhead1013

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Having a relationship. Nothing else. I realized that maybe this is my problem in attempting to find a girlfriend? I'd make a great boyfriend, don't get me wrong, but I have worked so hard to find myself and do things for myself, but when I think about why I'm doing all these things it is mostly to attract girls. Why is it so impossible to have a relationship when it is your goal, and how do I change my desire from having a relationship to not caring at all about it and just being happy by myself and with what I do? I've read countless pieces of advice, talked to my psychologist for hours on end, and done just about everything I've thought about in order to make having a girlfriend not be my final goal, but that is all I can say I honestly care about. How do I get myself out of this?

 

I wouldn't care so much if I was actually to have a girlfriend, but the fact is it obviously won't happen because irony has to exist.

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This rule of thumb is a true case. When your looking for a relationship or love, it wont come your way but when you live life happily single and smiling the world in the face is when the perfect woman will come your way.

 

This is so damn true. After a couple of months and a few failed/bad attempts...I simply gave up on the idea of finding someone. It wasn't important to me anymore. (Also the loss of my best friend put alot of things in my life on hold)

I was convinced that I was going to be single for awhile and wasn't at all bothered by it.....just when I gave up, a wonderful man came to me. Granted we aren't dating right now (my choice), he's not going anywhere and will be there when I'm ready.

 

What I am trying to say here is that if you try to hard and try to force things to happen, they won't. It's ok to be single for awhile. If you know that you are a great catch...sooner or later someone is going to come along and snag you. I spent a year alone and wasn't bothered by it b/c in the end...someone worthwhile has found me. So, give it time.

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Oh no not this crap talk (sorry, just imo) with the various sayings like "be yourself", "be patient" yada yada yada again.

 

But as for the desperation thing, it's definitely something that grows on you and I reckon you can't avoid it, in the end. Just taking myself for example, time is just getting to me and I am getting more and more bothered about not having even experienced this-or-that (a single date, so forget hand holding and kissing and so on) but I would like to think I have just that little bit of pride and not be desperate, not to mention as they say girls can sense it. But subconsciously it will always be growing ...

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