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I don't get it...this should bother me, right?

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Just wanted to post real quick...things with my bf have been better then ever. I had one slightly tempting situation but stepped back, realized it's not what I want, and for some reason I feel like I'm finally ready to commit emotionally and fully to my SO. He is one amazing damn guy.


Anyways, we were out to eat with some friends and our waitress (who we're all aquaintances with) mentioned she saw my ex about an hour earlier over the dinner rush. (Lol weird, right?) She went on to mention that he was with his new fiance (he and I were engaged just a short 5 months ago remember) and that she was doing well although SHE LOST THE BABY.


* * * ?????


Although I was utterly shocked at realizing he had a child in existence and the shock hurt just a little...after a short phone call to a girlfriend of mine I felt ok. I'll admit I am a little jealous..he's the one who screwed up and he's getting everything I wanted...getting married and babies. I know I'll probably get mine in time, and it'll probably be a happier situation (lets face it the chick was married to one guy, had his kid, then started sleeping with my ex, who was engaged to me at the time, then got knocked up by him....seriously). And I think that's the reason I'm ok with it. I mean I don't know what is going on in his head, I see myself in such a better situation then when I was with him. His cheating betrayal still hurts but not because of him as a person..because my trust was ruined. Does that makes sense?


I know I won't be able to be fully over it for some time, and that it will take a while for me to heal, and I"m ok with this. I think I'm going about it in a healthy manner. But I'm happy. I'm moving out of my parent's soon, with my best friend and her boyfriend and little one..we're getting this awesome apartment! I got the $3000 engagement ring that he put on my credit card down to $500! My job is doing well and I just started school again. My life is really in a good place. I have friends again!

Every once in a while he comes in with her to my work (I'm a server) and they eat in someone else's section and every time they do it kind of ruins my night...but that's it. I don't delve into depression, I don't pity myself...it just stresses me out while they're in-house. I know it sounds good, but I still have my mini setbacks every once in a while. I still have emotional baggage and trust issues.


I don't know I just wanted to share, it took me for a spin finding out he was careless enough to get her pregnant. The kid can't even hold a job and thinks he's too good to do fast food just to pay the bills. He'd rather sit on unemployment. Just wanted to share..maybe get some feedback. I'm ok really. I don't know how, or why, but after finding out my ex fiance got his new fiance pregnant in 5 months..I'm ok.

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This is completely normal and a lot of us on here have been through something like this. You are human with emotions. I see this as a good thing that shows just how far you have come in dealing with the things life throws at us from time to time. Your relationship with him was real to you and that is why you had those feelings. No matter how indifferent you are towards him, there will be times when it will bring back memories or painful thoughts you would rather not have swimming around your head.


You are doing a fantastic job in your healing. Your ex is YOUR EX and what happens in his life might get to a little or they may not but either way you are in control of your life once again and you should never feel bad that your feelings have changed.



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