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This is making me crazy.


Rose21

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I've been reading Rose's old threads because I've been off work - there is definitely a weird vibe going on with some of the answers she gets, can't put my finger on it, but it's not that nice. Like people are waiting for her to post so they can jump on her; if someone irritated me that much, I stay out of their posts.

 

Sorry, this is aggressive of me, I just feel a bit disturbed by a dynamic with other posters that I can't really put my finger on.

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No your not alone in it, I feel it too.

 

And it's not a bad thing if it happens, but when we live together I don't see why it would. Unless he was going on a camping retreat for the night, i don't see why he would be having sleep overs with the guys.

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So, if he's not out on a retreat, you would think it would be odd for someone to spend all day and night away from their partner?

 

You won't be glued at each other's side when you live together. He can leave for a weekend if he needs to, he can spend all day and night with friends, and buddies, hobbies, whatever. It's defenitely not abnormal or unheard of and will most likely happen.

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It is healthy to have time away from your partner.

 

You shouldn't feel bad if one day he wants to go out with his friends and you are at home.

 

One time my boyfriend wanted to go see a movie (I think it was shoot 'em up or something like that) and I wasn't that interested in going. I knew he'd have a lot more fun just going with his guy friends to a movie like that. So, I stayed home on a Friday night. It was a boring night but it wasn't a big deal.

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Well yeah I mean that's understandable.

 

I've done that before.

 

And going on a trip for work or something. But I don't see the need to spend a whole weekend away with his friends.

 

I mean, I've never done that and I don't see him wanting to do that in the future. A business trip is different, or to visit family etc.

 

I have sleep overs alot, but they certaintly don't take up the WHOLE weekend.

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Well yeah I mean that's understandable.

 

I've done that before.

 

And going on a trip for work or something. But I don't see the need to spend a whole weekend away with his friends.

 

I mean, I've never done that and I don't see him wanting to do that in the future. A business trip is different, or to visit family etc.

 

I have sleep overs alot, but they certaintly don't take up the WHOLE weekend.

 

So, you'd be against him leaving for the weekend to go gambling or to vegas (hypothetically).

 

What if his guy friends invited him on a weekend long bachelor party?

 

Why don't you see the need?

 

I think once you live together, you'll get sick of each other.

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Rose, I've lived w/ 2 boyfriends before. It changes everything. You're in for a rude awakening if you think you'll be spending every spare moment together & not get tired of each other!

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Oh no, I don't expect to spend every waking moment together.

 

I would get tired of that!

 

The gambling wouldn't happen, he is WAY to responsible with money to do something like that.

 

And the weekend long bachelor party, although that could happen, I know he would be very uncomfortable with it if there was crazy stuff going on there. And he may just stay for a night.

 

But I mean with our work schedules, and school etc, and the stuff with his fraternity when I go there, we won't be spending every waking moment together. Hardly that. It will be ME that will have to make friends there, since when I go I will be leaving my social life behind to be there for him and he has his fraternity full of friends.

 

But it shouldn't be hard. I'm a social butterfly and I plan on joining a sorority when I go, and I have no trouble making friends at all.

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I know he wouldn't care if I spent a day and night away from him for a sleep over.

 

But he'd be a little hurt if I took a WHOLE weekend for something other then him.

 

You are in an LDR so you both take weekends off all the time. If you suddenly lived together, how would being gone for a weekend be any different than when he is gone back at school for a couple of weeks?

 

Those breather times can be healthy for couples. Someone else suggested in this thread that your being in an LDR right now might be the thing saving you because when you two get really stressed over a situation, you then leave and have a few weeks to 'breathe'. If you live together all the time, and never have breathing room, i bet the relationship is giong to suffer a great deal. Thus, if you live together you both may look forward to a weekend apart some of the time. Why do you view it as a personal diss to his love for you if he were gone for a weekend? I think you view it as an attack or that his love would be less....???

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this is off topic, but does anyone here ever wonder how her boyfriend would feel about all these pages and pages of posts about him if he ever stumbled upon them? lol i don't know, it just popped into my head that this poor guy has people on the internet discussing him all the time and he probably has no idea. unless rose tells him about all this, that is.

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this is off topic, but does anyone here ever wonder how her boyfriend would feel about all these pages and pages of posts about him if he ever stumbled upon them? lol i don't know, it just popped into my head that this poor guy has people on the internet discussing him all the time and he probably has no idea. unless rose tells him about all this, that is.

 

Well if that were the case, many partners would feel the same way since the entire forum is comprised of about 80% of posts about someone's significant other. That is why it is anonymous....

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this is off topic, but does anyone here ever wonder how her boyfriend would feel about all these pages and pages of posts about him if he ever stumbled upon them? lol i don't know, it just popped into my head that this poor guy has people on the internet discussing him all the time and he probably has no idea. unless rose tells him about all this, that is.

 

I think that's true for just about every other poster's SO.

 

It makes me feel weird sometimes too knowing that my relationship and all it's ups and downs are plastered all over the internet. A lot of posters might as well know my boyfriend as they would a best friend.

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yeah i know, i just mean the amount of detail we know about this person and what he does on the weekends and what he ate for dinner and such. i just think my boyfriend would be really weirded out if i discussed him in great detail with strangers on the internet and he found out. lol. but i do realize that's what this forum is for.

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Well, that's the point. We come here for advice and such, my boyfriend knows I go to a blog type site to ask for advice on certain things, and he knows I SOMETIMES bring up our relationship, and sometimes I tell him replies I get.

 

But I would never tell him the name of the site. He would be able to tell it was me right away. And he would be very upset and offended by the detail I go into here, and all the things I ask for help.

 

But that goes for anyone's SO honestly.

 

The weekend every once in awhile wouldn't be too hard. I mean, since we are in a part-time LDR (not bad because we see eachother every 2 weeks and have month and 4 month periods where we can spend every day together) But when we ARE together, we see eachother everyday. So with him being here, and me wanting to take a whole weekend away from him would offend him. Now, it may be different when we live together, but that's how it is now.

 

when he is here, we spend every waking moment together.

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Of course, because you are in a LDR.

That's completely different then living together.

 

I don't think what occurs NOW, will transition the same and be the same in several years when you live together.

 

I don't think you can speak FOR him, in terms of wanting a day or two tto himself, and say he would get OFFENDED if you took some time away to do other things.

If that's the case, that is VERY unhealthy and a very unhealthy approach to being in a relationship.

 

If he's going to be upset and hurt because you want to do something that doesn't involve him, that's HIS problem.

You two make each other your world with that attitude and approach. You have every right to spend as much time doing other things, with other people. In fact, its necessary.

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Well they are.

 

I'm pretty good.

 

My English class got cancelled today, so my friend is picking me up and we're going out for coffee.

 

I wanted to go out for hookah with my friend tonight, but he doesn't want to be around the smoke. Party-pooper lol.

 

So me, him, and my other friend are hanging out together tonight. Should be fun.

 

I'm so excited I get to see my boyfriend day after tomorrow

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